“Mommy, what are we doing?” Johnny asks.
“We’re going to go see…someone.” আপনি say, not knowing what to call him at this point.
“Will I like them?” Johnny tugs on your arm.
আপনি pause for a second. “Yeah.” আপনি finally answer. “You would’ve loved him.”
“Well that’s good.” He nods.
How little he knew how much this was killing you.
“So mommy, why are we at the cemetery? It’s spooky.”
“I told আপনি we’re going to go see someone.” আপনি say, making your way to his headstone.
“Oh,” Johnny whispers, realizing from your tone আপনি didn’t want any annoyance.
“Here.” আপনি say, stopping in front of the grave.
“It says… Da-ll-as Wins-ton.” He had just learned to read.
He looks up at you, a bit confused. “Mommy, I’m Johnny Winston.”
“I know.” আপনি say, biting your lip.
“Mommy… Is this-“
“Yeah, buddy it is.”
He kinda just stands there in quiet, soaking it in.
All of a sudden, he tugs on your arm. “Mommy?”
আপনি look down at your son, tears in your eyes.
God, he looked so much like him.
“Would he have liked me?” He whispers.
আপনি are shocked. আপনি lean down to his eye level.
“Of course.” আপনি choke. “Of course he would have loved you. Loved আপনি so much.”
“And I would প্রণয় him.”
“We’re going to go see…someone.” আপনি say, not knowing what to call him at this point.
“Will I like them?” Johnny tugs on your arm.
আপনি pause for a second. “Yeah.” আপনি finally answer. “You would’ve loved him.”
“Well that’s good.” He nods.
How little he knew how much this was killing you.
“So mommy, why are we at the cemetery? It’s spooky.”
“I told আপনি we’re going to go see someone.” আপনি say, making your way to his headstone.
“Oh,” Johnny whispers, realizing from your tone আপনি didn’t want any annoyance.
“Here.” আপনি say, stopping in front of the grave.
“It says… Da-ll-as Wins-ton.” He had just learned to read.
He looks up at you, a bit confused. “Mommy, I’m Johnny Winston.”
“I know.” আপনি say, biting your lip.
“Mommy… Is this-“
“Yeah, buddy it is.”
He kinda just stands there in quiet, soaking it in.
All of a sudden, he tugs on your arm. “Mommy?”
আপনি look down at your son, tears in your eyes.
God, he looked so much like him.
“Would he have liked me?” He whispers.
আপনি are shocked. আপনি lean down to his eye level.
“Of course.” আপনি choke. “Of course he would have loved you. Loved আপনি so much.”
“And I would প্রণয় him.”
His tongue ran down your stomach. It sent chills up your back. It felt amazing.
His tongue went back up to your lips as he started to unclasp your bra. He got it off, and threw it across the room.
But instead of it hitting the floor with a thud…
“Not on my couch.” Darry says, bra in hand
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.
“Yeah?” He says, looking over at you.
“I found this in the attic.” আপনি say, tossing it over to him.
It was his baby blanket, a dark blue color.
He looks at it wide eyed, just taking in the memories.
“What about this?” He asks, still looking at the blanket.
“Well I thought our baby would like it.”
“Planning ahead huh?” He grins.
“Only 8 eight months ahead.” আপনি smile.
He looks up at আপনি in surprise.
“You’re pregnant?” He asks, standing up from the পালঙ্ক to face you.
আপনি just smile.
He scoops আপনি up into a giant hug.
How were আপনি going to tell him আপনি got laid off?
Y’all needed money… আপনি had just bought a house, and money was short.
So of course আপনি had to lose your job.
আপনি walking into your house, and flop onto the couch. আপনি were pretty much done with all the stress.
Darry walked out of the bathroom, towel around his waist.
“What’s up babe?” He said, chuckling at the sight of আপনি sprawled on the couch.
“I got laid off.” আপনি mumble.
He’s silent for a second, taking this in. “I’ll pick up another shift.” He says.
“No, no.. আপনি don’t have to…” আপনি start.
“No.. I’d make আরো money than আপনি would. It’s gonna be fine I promise.”
আপনি turn around to see your boyfriend Steve grinning wildly, another snowball in hand.
“It’s so on,” আপনি laugh, as আপনি lean down to scoop the snow.
আপনি are hit with another snowball, right in the shoulder. আপনি আগুন back, hitting him in the face.
Instead of picking up snow to make another snowball, he sprints towards you.
And tackles আপনি into the snow.
“Oww Steve!” আপনি laughed.
“It was needed.” He joked back.
আপনি were lying on your backs in the snow, looking up at the stars.
আপনি start to shiver.
He looks over at you. “Babe, are আপনি cold?”
“Yeah.” আপনি nod your head, teeth chattering.
He scoots closer to you, and wraps his arms around you. “Warmer?”
“Yeah,” আপনি smile.
He picks up the naked two বছর old and plops him into the bath. “There. Your in. Stay in.”
আপনি were holding baby Stephanie, who would not stop crying. Why did আপনি and Dally even agree to watch Johnny’s kids? This wasn’t a great experience.
“Hey, (Y/N), look at this,” Dally grins.
আপনি look in the bathroom to see Josh, sitting in the tub, his hair greased back, smiling like a maniac.
আপনি can’t help but burst out laughing, only making the baby cry more.
“Stephie, shut the hell up!” Josh says from the tub.
“Josh!” আপনি scold. আপনি glare at Dally.
“It wasn’t me!” Dally says.
“Yeah right.” আপনি say, rolling your eyes.
“In my opinion, we are the greatest babysitters ever.” Dally said, smiling.
“Hey,” Dally whispers in your ear.
“Hey,”you whisper back.
“You’re parents home?”
“Yeah, they’re asleep.”
“So nothing fun?”
“Dally, আপনি pig.” আপনি laugh.
“Nah, I প্রণয় just cuddling with you.” He says, snuggling closer to your body.
You’re silent for awhile, feeling the heat of his body.
“I প্রণয় you.” আপনি whisper.
“Not as much as I প্রণয় you.” He squeezes you.
“Are আপনি crying?” আপনি ask as he walks in.
“No.” He mutters, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.
“Yes আপনি are, আপনি big softie,” Ponyboy grins.
“Is she all ok?” Soda asks, still sniffling.
“Yes, she’s in perfect condition.” The doctor grins. ” 6 pounds, 9 ounces. আপনি want to hold her?” He asks Soda.
Soda just nods his head. The doctor hands him the baby.
(OK INSERT SODA BABY IMAGINE HERE TO GET SODA FEELINGS)
Soda just smiles.
“Hey, Grace.” He says softly. “Hey.”
“She looks like you.” Ponyboy says to আপনি as he looks over Soda’s shoulder at his niece.
“Pretty, just like her mom.” Soda glances at you.
I had it all ready.
My parents wouldn’t care.
It would be a blessing for me to be gone.
I take a deep breath and take a final look in the mirror. My dark skin. Even darker eyes. The black hair I could never keep back. The scar on my cheek.
I run a hand through my hair, exhale, and open the mirror to see the different bottles of pills glaring at me; tempting me.
It would hurt the least. Less than the blade. But it might take longer. The rope would be quicker.
I reach for a bottle, twist the cap, and pour a few pills in my hand. I take another bottle and do the same.
I take a look at the drugs in my hand. I sigh, tilt my head back, and drop the pills in my mouth.
“JOHNNY!” I heard my drunk mother screech.
I spit the pills back into my hands.
I wouldn’t do this in front of my mother. Even though she was awful, she still is my mom. Im still her son.
My parents wouldn’t care.
It would be a blessing for me to be gone.
I take a deep breath and take a final look in the mirror. My dark skin. Even darker eyes. The black hair I could never keep back. The scar on my cheek.
I run a hand through my hair, exhale, and open the mirror to see the different bottles of pills glaring at me; tempting me.
It would hurt the least. Less than the blade. But it might take longer. The rope would be quicker.
I reach for a bottle, twist the cap, and pour a few pills in my hand. I take another bottle and do the same.
I take a look at the drugs in my hand. I sigh, tilt my head back, and drop the pills in my mouth.
“JOHNNY!” I heard my drunk mother screech.
I spit the pills back into my hands.
I wouldn’t do this in front of my mother. Even though she was awful, she still is my mom. Im still her son.