Chapter 1

Regretting What I did

“Is anyone there” a voice came from behind the door. I guess I heard it twice but was ignoring it as I was really too much lazy to go out and open the door, so I let him shout till mom didn’t went to open the door. I really wanna get rid of this, I am too much lazy but this is how I am and I don’t regret sometimes. But...sometimes I feel desperate and lonely, since she is gone I am all alone. I wanna lie on the বিছানা all দিন long, going to park for a little freshness isn’t such a fun as it was before. She made everything great, being with her was good and I want her back in my life.

Hello! I am Tecna and I am so called “smart” girl who have done hellish thing in this world. And the girl I am talking about is Musa.

“Why are আপনি so desperate Tecna? আপনি weren’t like that before. আপনি are too much skimpy and lazy these days. Is anything আপনি are hiding from me? অথবা do আপনি have had any problem with your school life? Tell me I am your mother” she ব্যক্ত but I wasn’t listening to her, my eyes were on my laptop and I was dying for Musa to say one word, just one word actually it’s an expression ‘hi’. “I am speaking worthlessly Tecna? Why aren’t আপনি responding to anything?” she ব্যক্ত with anger. “Hmm...Mom.” I waited and thought that if I will tell her everything maybe she’ll get আরো tensed and she’s got B.P problem I don’t wanna disturb her all the time. I am no longer a kid. I rubbed my two fingers hard over my left eyebrow and ব্যক্ত “No...I am not hiding anything and why would I? Everything is awesome it’s just I am kinda tired these days আপনি see?” and she stared me suspiciously, she knows me better than I do myself. “I know আপনি are hiding something but I won’t pressurise আপনি to tell anything that আপনি don’t want to tell me but remember one thing when one shares problem it becomes less and I am not only your mom but your friend as well. I hope you’ll be getting what I am saying” and I nodded.

Seriously I wanna share my problem and I agree with each single word she ব্যক্ত to me but not with her as I have told আপনি before.
I almost was going to call Musa but then I realised calling her at this moment isn’t a good idea and after what I have done to her I must not call her instead I should go and talk to her. But not today as it’s too late night. Sometimes I become apathy and start to wrangle all around and as I am short tempered I don’t even think what I say which is the baddest things in me. I don’t mean everything I say while fight. Anyway I gotta go and take a nap because I am kinda tired after all the fight and so.