Okay so my brother and I were swimming in our pool and suddenly we start talking Twilight.Well, if আপনি know us then আপনি know that we stared role playing.Mason REALLY wanted to be Edward so I let him.And I was Emmett. And so I started thinking of a joke paragraph.I REALLY hope আপনি guys like it.

Emmett's pov.

"Where is Edward?!?", I thought to myself. I had been searching our property for well around 5 মিনিট and I knew he could hear my thoughts.
" Up here Em.", he ব্যক্ত chuckling from his room all the way upstairs. He knew I would hear.I was still in the forest.I was up and in his room in a record 4 seconds. অথবা at least record for a human. "jeese Edward!Couldn't have let that go on longer?",I ব্যক্ত a bit sharply.

"No.I was getting bored.", he said.

"Okay well, let's get down to bussiness shall we? I thought up another way to annoy Alice.", I said.
" I'm all ears."
" Well, I figured out a way to fart!!!How totally awesome is THAT?", I ব্যক্ত in a rush.
"Very awesome."
Man. Why was he keeping his anserws so short? " So you'll hurry up and tell me how to fart.", he ব্যক্ত a little impatient. " Jeese.", I ব্যক্ত again. He sighed. "Alright. So if আপনি can gulp down enough air and concentrate really hard আপনি can fart.", I ব্যক্ত triumphently. "And how did আপনি come across this?", he ব্যক্ত chuckling, for he already knew the anserw. "Never mind that", I snapped. Was he doiing his best to irritate me in my moment of glory? " Yes.", he ব্যক্ত fighting a smile. " Stop that!", I ব্যক্ত sharply. "See watch.I'll demonstrate.", I said. I took a deep breath that no human could take and took two আরো just to be on the নিরাপদ side. Now for the embarrassung part. The concentrating. I balled my hands in fists nd benter. I must have looked like a conctapated kid, because he was on the ground holding his sides and booming with laughter in half a second. "Hey cut it out অথবা আপনি won't hear it ", I said. " Oh.I WON'T?", he retorted clearly enjoying himself. But at least he cut it out.Then finally brpf( যেভাবে খুশী letters =fart sounds, the আরো letters the longer the fart)."Of course I'll have to work on it, but...", I ব্যক্ত clearly proud. "Oh that's for SURE!!", he ব্যক্ত laughing again."Let's go practice.", he ব্যক্ত eager to learn.


*********



"Oh Alice...", we chimed.
"What is it?", she stated obviously annoyed.
"We just wanted to প্রদর্শনী আপনি something.", we ব্যক্ত in unison once more. "Oh this aught to be good.", ব্যক্ত rosalie ,nudging Jasper.We each sucked in a REEEEEEEEALY deep breath. For Alice, Jacob, Carlisle,Esme, Rosalie, and Jasper were there.(Bella and Renesmee were visiting Charlie and amazingly Jacob was visiting me.Or at least staying for the game. Flat screen আপনি know.)We balled our fists knelt down and...........bfr dfr.And then a thunder storm broke out.Everyone was on the ground rolling, holding their sides and BOOMING with laughter. While we stood there gawking at them. It had taken weeks of hard core practice to get that far, and last time it lasted 20 seconds!!! Even Alice was laughing. "aren't আপনি the least bit disgusted?!?", I asked. "That.. was... just.. too... funny.", she gasped."Nice one guys!!", joked Jacob. "Man it took 6 weeks to get that far!", I ব্যক্ত irritatedly. HDSHGHEHRHGHRTGJHDFJGLDFHHTIHRIYTHDSFGHUER!!!!! "And that took about 2 seconds!", smiled Jacob."Well it's harder for ভ্যাম্পায়ার to fart okay Mr. Showoff!", I said."OH MY GOD! JACOB! WHAT DID আপনি EAT?!?!?!?!", laughed Carlisle. দ্বারা now everyone was outside at least 1 mile away from the house.
"Well, Jake. At least আপনি can annoy Alice.", i laughed as we sprinted from the contaminated house.(Both holding our noses I might add) Just then Alice charges at us staring daggers at Jacob. "You, mutt. come here.", ব্যক্ত Alice. "No way! I may be half dog but even I'm not that stupid.", ব্যক্ত Jacob cautiously. "No come on. I'm not going to hurt you.", ব্যক্ত Alice আরো alluringly now as she flashed one of her smiles that would make any man come to her." That doesn't work on me.", ব্যক্ত Jake. "Then why are আপনি coming closer?", ব্যক্ত Alice still trying to lure him in. "Don't do it jake", I whispered. Jake was still walking closer.... And then he was right in front of Alice. "Oh no, I can't watch", I ব্যক্ত still watching." আপনি can't but I can.", ব্যক্ত Edward chuckling. দ্বারা now everyone was watching.(Even Bella and Nessie, they got back early)Then suddenly, WHACK!!!!! Alice got Jake right on the nose. He jumped and ran for his life. Alice right behind him screaming things like," I JUST WENT SHOPPING THOSE ARE BRAND NEW chanel dresses! NOT TO MENTION ALL OF THE LOUIS VUITTON PURSESAND DOLCE AND GABBANNA DRESSES!!!!!!! AND NOW THEY ARE ALL RUINED!!!!!"she screamed." How much are আপনি willing to bet he is going to get his sorry গাধা knocked around?", ব্যক্ত Edward. "50 bucks says Alice will beat him again in the পরবর্তি minute?", I said. "Your on.", ব্যক্ত Edward."Edward aren't আপনি going to go help him?", Bella ব্যক্ত worriedly. "Emmett's tougher that I am he can take Alice when she's this mad I can't.", ব্যক্ত Edward getting a bit worried himself."Ahh. But আপনি Eddie boy are much faster than I.", I ব্যক্ত knowing I won. "Edward . Please for me I don't want him to get hurt and you're faster than Alice anyway.", begged Bella." Man how cruel is that making your wife beg. Pathetic.", I taunted."Shut. Up. Emmett.", he growled. and then he left to go rescue Jacob from Alice's wrath." আপনি know he won't survive right?", I asked. "I kinda figured.", ব্যক্ত Bella. "hey Bella can আপনি go make some ভুট্টার খই this is going to be good." " But we don't eat popcorn." "Get it anyway." I ব্যক্ত and sat down to enjoy the প্রদর্শনী just as Edward got socked in the head."Luxury."