*by Stephenie Meyer*
TWILIGHT - chapter 21 - PHONE CALL
I held the phone to my ear. My joints were ফ্রোজেন with terror - I couldn't unbend my fingers to drop it.
I knew I had to think, but my head was filled with the sound of my mother's panic. সেকেন্ড ticked দ্বারা while I fought for control.
Slowly, slowly, my thoughts started to break past that brick দেওয়াল of pain. To plan. For I had no choices now but one: to go to the mirrored room and die. I had no guarantees, nothing to give to keep my mother alive. I could only hope that James would be satisfied with winning the game, that beating Edward would be enough. Despair gripped me; there was no way to bargain, nothing I could offer অথবা withhold that could influence him. But I still had no choice. I had to try.
I pushed the terror back as well as I could. My decision was made. It did no good to waste time agonizing over the outcome. I had to think clearly, because Alice and Jasper were waiting for me, and evading them was absolutely essential, and absolutely impossible.
I was suddenly grateful that Jasper was gone. If he had been here to feel my anguish in the last five minutes, how could I have kept them from being suspicious? I choked back the dread, the anxiety, tried to stifle it. I couldn't afford it now. I didn't know when he would return.
I concentrated on my escape. I had to hope that my familiarity with the airport woulf turn the odds in my favor. Somehow, I had to keep Alice away....
I knew Alice was in the other room waiting for me, curious. But I had to deal with one আরো thing in private, before Jasper was back.
I had to accept that I wouldn't see Edward again, not even one last glimpse of his face to carry with me to the mirror room. I was going to hurt him, and I couldn't say goodbye. I let the waves of torture wash over me, have their way for a time. Then I pushed them back, too, and went to face Alice.
The only expression I could manage was a dull, dead look. I saw her alarm and I didn't wait for her to ask. I had just one script and I'd never manage improvisation now.
"My mom was worried, she wanted to come home. But it's okay, I convinced her to stay away." My voice was lifeless.
"We'll make sure she's fine, Bella, don't worry."
I turned away; I couldn't let her see my face.
My eye fell on a blank page of the hotel stationery on the desk. I went to it slowly, a plan forming. There was an envelope there, too. That was good.
"Alice," I asked slowly, without turning, keeping my voice level. "If I write a letter for my mother, would আপনি give it to her? Leave it at the house, I mean."
"Sure, Bella." Her voice was careful. She could see me coming apart at the seems. I had to keep my emotions under better control.
I went into the bedroom again, and knelt পরবর্তি to the little bedside টেবিল to write.
"Edward," I wrote. My hand was shaking, the letters were hardly legible.
"I প্রণয় you. I am sorry. He has my mom, and I
have to try. I know it may not work. I am so very, very
sorry.
Don't be angry with Alice অথবা Jasper. If I get away
from them it will be a miracle. Tell them thank আপনি for
me. Alice especially, please.
And please, please don't come after him. That's what
he wants, I think. I can't ভালুক it if anyone has to be hurt
because of me, especially you. Please this is the only
thing I can ask আপনি now. For me.
I প্রণয় you. Forgive me.
Bella.
I folded the letter carefully, and sealed it in the envelope. Eventually he would find it. I only hoped he would understand, and listen to me just this once.
And then I carefully sealed away my heart.
TWILIGHT - chapter 21 - PHONE CALL
I held the phone to my ear. My joints were ফ্রোজেন with terror - I couldn't unbend my fingers to drop it.
I knew I had to think, but my head was filled with the sound of my mother's panic. সেকেন্ড ticked দ্বারা while I fought for control.
Slowly, slowly, my thoughts started to break past that brick দেওয়াল of pain. To plan. For I had no choices now but one: to go to the mirrored room and die. I had no guarantees, nothing to give to keep my mother alive. I could only hope that James would be satisfied with winning the game, that beating Edward would be enough. Despair gripped me; there was no way to bargain, nothing I could offer অথবা withhold that could influence him. But I still had no choice. I had to try.
I pushed the terror back as well as I could. My decision was made. It did no good to waste time agonizing over the outcome. I had to think clearly, because Alice and Jasper were waiting for me, and evading them was absolutely essential, and absolutely impossible.
I was suddenly grateful that Jasper was gone. If he had been here to feel my anguish in the last five minutes, how could I have kept them from being suspicious? I choked back the dread, the anxiety, tried to stifle it. I couldn't afford it now. I didn't know when he would return.
I concentrated on my escape. I had to hope that my familiarity with the airport woulf turn the odds in my favor. Somehow, I had to keep Alice away....
I knew Alice was in the other room waiting for me, curious. But I had to deal with one আরো thing in private, before Jasper was back.
I had to accept that I wouldn't see Edward again, not even one last glimpse of his face to carry with me to the mirror room. I was going to hurt him, and I couldn't say goodbye. I let the waves of torture wash over me, have their way for a time. Then I pushed them back, too, and went to face Alice.
The only expression I could manage was a dull, dead look. I saw her alarm and I didn't wait for her to ask. I had just one script and I'd never manage improvisation now.
"My mom was worried, she wanted to come home. But it's okay, I convinced her to stay away." My voice was lifeless.
"We'll make sure she's fine, Bella, don't worry."
I turned away; I couldn't let her see my face.
My eye fell on a blank page of the hotel stationery on the desk. I went to it slowly, a plan forming. There was an envelope there, too. That was good.
"Alice," I asked slowly, without turning, keeping my voice level. "If I write a letter for my mother, would আপনি give it to her? Leave it at the house, I mean."
"Sure, Bella." Her voice was careful. She could see me coming apart at the seems. I had to keep my emotions under better control.
I went into the bedroom again, and knelt পরবর্তি to the little bedside টেবিল to write.
"Edward," I wrote. My hand was shaking, the letters were hardly legible.
"I প্রণয় you. I am sorry. He has my mom, and I
have to try. I know it may not work. I am so very, very
sorry.
Don't be angry with Alice অথবা Jasper. If I get away
from them it will be a miracle. Tell them thank আপনি for
me. Alice especially, please.
And please, please don't come after him. That's what
he wants, I think. I can't ভালুক it if anyone has to be hurt
because of me, especially you. Please this is the only
thing I can ask আপনি now. For me.
I প্রণয় you. Forgive me.
Bella.
I folded the letter carefully, and sealed it in the envelope. Eventually he would find it. I only hoped he would understand, and listen to me just this once.
And then I carefully sealed away my heart.
Hear out my tortured soul
For I have nowhere else to go
আপনি captured my dead, ফ্রোজেন heart
Now yours and mine’ll never be apart
আপনি took my breath away
And in my হৃদয় you’ll always stay
আপনি are my life now
Believe me, for this I vow
My ব্রেভ and trusting love
From the heavens above
I’ll do everything for you
And I’ll always be true
When আপনি called out my name
My life had never been the same
আপনি kept my feet on the ground
‘Cause my purpose had been found
Your চকোলেট brown eyes
Are honest and wise
Through them I could see
How আপনি irrevocably প্রণয় me
For I have nowhere else to go
আপনি captured my dead, ফ্রোজেন heart
Now yours and mine’ll never be apart
আপনি took my breath away
And in my হৃদয় you’ll always stay
আপনি are my life now
Believe me, for this I vow
My ব্রেভ and trusting love
From the heavens above
I’ll do everything for you
And I’ll always be true
When আপনি called out my name
My life had never been the same
আপনি kept my feet on the ground
‘Cause my purpose had been found
Your চকোলেট brown eyes
Are honest and wise
Through them I could see
How আপনি irrevocably প্রণয় me