I sat on the রান্নাঘর counter, in the painful silence. I wanted this, why was I so sad? There was a knock on the door, and my হৃদয় skipped a beat. I went and got it, and was surprised to see it was Andrew.
"Hey. I was hoping আপনি weren't gone yet," he smiled. I smiled weakly.
"Hey. What's up?" I let him in.
"Just wanted to say goodbye. And see how you're feeling." My hand instinctively went back up to my throat, the gauze still wrapped around the healing stitches.
"I'm doing good. Thanks."
"No problem," he sighed. "So, Belinda's probably going to be in for life; for murder and attempted murder."
"Good," I ব্যক্ত bitterly.
"I'm sorry 'bout that night," he ব্যক্ত softly.
"Don't be. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time... I'm sorry about your brother." He smiled sadly.
"It's ok. I guess now I don't feel as bad, thinking that Dalton was so upset with his life that he killed himself... It's still not fair, but... I don't know. I guess it kind of eases the guilt. I hate belinda's guts now, though. I thought she was just a poor little victim like the rest of us were. Guess not, huh?" I shook my head. Andrew looked down at my bags দ্বারা the door. "So. You're going?" I nodded. "Why?" he asked. He chuckled a little. "I mean, I was starting to like you," he smirked. I smiled back, then sighed.
"I... I guess I'm just not fit out for this lifestyle anymore," I said. Andrew nodded understandingly.
"Well, I hope everything works out for you," he said.
"Thanks," I said. He opened his arms, and it took me a couple সেকেন্ড to realize he was gesturing for a hug. I walked into his arms, and hugged him back. He squeezed me tight, then let me go. I reacted on an impulse next; I stretched up on my tip toes and kissed him on the cheek. I guess we were both speechless after that.
"Hey," Reed walked in, yawning. I took a giant step back from Andrew, and waved at Reed.
"Good morning." Reed stopped when he saw Andrew. He still didn't like him. He associated him with all the terrible things that were happening in our family.
"Uh, I was just leaving," Andrew said. He hugged me again one আরো time, then left. I almost wanted to run after him, but my feet were anchored to the floor. Reed sighed.
"When is she getting here?" he asked, annoyed.
"I don't know. She ব্যক্ত around noon," I answered. Reed sat down on the couch, and put his head in his hands. I walked over slowly and sat down পরবর্তি to him. "I still প্রণয় you, আপনি know." He grunted. I put my hand on his back. "I do!"
"Then why're আপনি leaving?" he said. I could hear the suppressed cries in his voice, and I leaned on him.
"I just can't live like this anymore. It's not your guys' fault. And don't আপনি dare think for one সেকেন্ড that I don't প্রণয় আপনি guys." He looked up at me, tears were welled up in his eyes. He wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me into a big hug. Carmine came out from the hallway, his eyes wet and bloodshot as well. "You heard that, didn't you?" I asked. He nodded. "Good. Then I don't have to repeat myself," I said. I opened up an arm for him to যোগদান the hug. We sat there, crying. I don't know why I was crying. I had wanted so badly to leave my old life behind, and now I was sad that I was getting it.
There was a knock at the door. That had to be her. I went and answered the door.
"Hello," Gail smiled. She assessed my expression, and pursed her lips. She patted my shoulder. "It's for the best, dear." I nodded.
"I gotta say goodbye first, ok?" She nodded.
"Of course, dear. I'll put your bags in the car. I hugged Carmine and Reed again.
"I প্রণয় আপনি both. So much," I ব্যক্ত through tears. I kissed them both on thier cheeks, and then went to Nikolai's room. I knocked on the door.
"Come in," he grumbled. I opened the door slowly, the doorhenges squeaking.
"I have to go now," I whispered. He was sitting on his bed, staring at his feet that hung off the edge. I sat down পরবর্তি to him.
"You sure আপনি want to do this?" he asked. It pained me to say "yes." He sighed. "Well, I guess it wouldn't be fair of me to not let আপনি go." He looked at me.
"I প্রণয় you," I said. I lunged forward, hugging him tight.
"I প্রণয় আপনি too," he whispered. I kissed his cheek, and he kissed my forehead.
"Bye," I said, my vision blurred দ্বারা tears. He hugged me again.
"Bye, baby sis," he said. I left, and Gail was already back from putting my stuff in her beatup truck.
"Ready to go?" she asked. I nodded. We got in the truck, and I saw my brothers waving from the apartment window. I waved back, and wiped away my tears.
***
"Harley!!" Aspen shouted, running from the house. I gasped when her head collided into my stomach, almost knocking the wind out of me.
"Hey," I laughed. Jezebel and Scout came out, Scout holding Bride. Jezebel came and hugged my waist as well.
"Are আপনি really truly staying this time?!" Jezebel asked excitedly.
"Yes," I laughed.
"Yay!" they shouted. Sky ran from the house, and jumped up and licked my face, barking and panting.
"Welcome back," Scout smiled.
"Thanks," I smiled back. We all went to the park after that, even seeing Trace there.
"It's good to have ya back, Harley," he said, putting an arm around me. I laughed. Later we went back to Gail's house for dinner. Then, we had our movie night. We watched "Pictures of Hollis Woods."
"That was a nice movie," Jezebel ব্যক্ত appreciatively.
"Yeah," we all agreed.
"I wonder if we'll ever get adopted too," Jezebel wondered. I frowned nervously. I came here to be with them; not get adopted.
"You already did," Gail said. We all looked to her. I don't know about everyoen else, but I was absolutely terrifired. Gail smiled. "It just got settled today. I adopted all of you." My jaw dropped, as did everyone else's. We all hugged her, giggling and the others crying from happiness. "Harley, that's ok, right?" Gail asked cautiously.
"Yes!" I said. It was a dream come true, actually! Now I knew for sure that my family wouldn't be seperated!
It was perfect.
"Hey. I was hoping আপনি weren't gone yet," he smiled. I smiled weakly.
"Hey. What's up?" I let him in.
"Just wanted to say goodbye. And see how you're feeling." My hand instinctively went back up to my throat, the gauze still wrapped around the healing stitches.
"I'm doing good. Thanks."
"No problem," he sighed. "So, Belinda's probably going to be in for life; for murder and attempted murder."
"Good," I ব্যক্ত bitterly.
"I'm sorry 'bout that night," he ব্যক্ত softly.
"Don't be. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time... I'm sorry about your brother." He smiled sadly.
"It's ok. I guess now I don't feel as bad, thinking that Dalton was so upset with his life that he killed himself... It's still not fair, but... I don't know. I guess it kind of eases the guilt. I hate belinda's guts now, though. I thought she was just a poor little victim like the rest of us were. Guess not, huh?" I shook my head. Andrew looked down at my bags দ্বারা the door. "So. You're going?" I nodded. "Why?" he asked. He chuckled a little. "I mean, I was starting to like you," he smirked. I smiled back, then sighed.
"I... I guess I'm just not fit out for this lifestyle anymore," I said. Andrew nodded understandingly.
"Well, I hope everything works out for you," he said.
"Thanks," I said. He opened his arms, and it took me a couple সেকেন্ড to realize he was gesturing for a hug. I walked into his arms, and hugged him back. He squeezed me tight, then let me go. I reacted on an impulse next; I stretched up on my tip toes and kissed him on the cheek. I guess we were both speechless after that.
"Hey," Reed walked in, yawning. I took a giant step back from Andrew, and waved at Reed.
"Good morning." Reed stopped when he saw Andrew. He still didn't like him. He associated him with all the terrible things that were happening in our family.
"Uh, I was just leaving," Andrew said. He hugged me again one আরো time, then left. I almost wanted to run after him, but my feet were anchored to the floor. Reed sighed.
"When is she getting here?" he asked, annoyed.
"I don't know. She ব্যক্ত around noon," I answered. Reed sat down on the couch, and put his head in his hands. I walked over slowly and sat down পরবর্তি to him. "I still প্রণয় you, আপনি know." He grunted. I put my hand on his back. "I do!"
"Then why're আপনি leaving?" he said. I could hear the suppressed cries in his voice, and I leaned on him.
"I just can't live like this anymore. It's not your guys' fault. And don't আপনি dare think for one সেকেন্ড that I don't প্রণয় আপনি guys." He looked up at me, tears were welled up in his eyes. He wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me into a big hug. Carmine came out from the hallway, his eyes wet and bloodshot as well. "You heard that, didn't you?" I asked. He nodded. "Good. Then I don't have to repeat myself," I said. I opened up an arm for him to যোগদান the hug. We sat there, crying. I don't know why I was crying. I had wanted so badly to leave my old life behind, and now I was sad that I was getting it.
There was a knock at the door. That had to be her. I went and answered the door.
"Hello," Gail smiled. She assessed my expression, and pursed her lips. She patted my shoulder. "It's for the best, dear." I nodded.
"I gotta say goodbye first, ok?" She nodded.
"Of course, dear. I'll put your bags in the car. I hugged Carmine and Reed again.
"I প্রণয় আপনি both. So much," I ব্যক্ত through tears. I kissed them both on thier cheeks, and then went to Nikolai's room. I knocked on the door.
"Come in," he grumbled. I opened the door slowly, the doorhenges squeaking.
"I have to go now," I whispered. He was sitting on his bed, staring at his feet that hung off the edge. I sat down পরবর্তি to him.
"You sure আপনি want to do this?" he asked. It pained me to say "yes." He sighed. "Well, I guess it wouldn't be fair of me to not let আপনি go." He looked at me.
"I প্রণয় you," I said. I lunged forward, hugging him tight.
"I প্রণয় আপনি too," he whispered. I kissed his cheek, and he kissed my forehead.
"Bye," I said, my vision blurred দ্বারা tears. He hugged me again.
"Bye, baby sis," he said. I left, and Gail was already back from putting my stuff in her beatup truck.
"Ready to go?" she asked. I nodded. We got in the truck, and I saw my brothers waving from the apartment window. I waved back, and wiped away my tears.
***
"Harley!!" Aspen shouted, running from the house. I gasped when her head collided into my stomach, almost knocking the wind out of me.
"Hey," I laughed. Jezebel and Scout came out, Scout holding Bride. Jezebel came and hugged my waist as well.
"Are আপনি really truly staying this time?!" Jezebel asked excitedly.
"Yes," I laughed.
"Yay!" they shouted. Sky ran from the house, and jumped up and licked my face, barking and panting.
"Welcome back," Scout smiled.
"Thanks," I smiled back. We all went to the park after that, even seeing Trace there.
"It's good to have ya back, Harley," he said, putting an arm around me. I laughed. Later we went back to Gail's house for dinner. Then, we had our movie night. We watched "Pictures of Hollis Woods."
"That was a nice movie," Jezebel ব্যক্ত appreciatively.
"Yeah," we all agreed.
"I wonder if we'll ever get adopted too," Jezebel wondered. I frowned nervously. I came here to be with them; not get adopted.
"You already did," Gail said. We all looked to her. I don't know about everyoen else, but I was absolutely terrifired. Gail smiled. "It just got settled today. I adopted all of you." My jaw dropped, as did everyone else's. We all hugged her, giggling and the others crying from happiness. "Harley, that's ok, right?" Gail asked cautiously.
"Yes!" I said. It was a dream come true, actually! Now I knew for sure that my family wouldn't be seperated!
It was perfect.
Shaun
I wonder, sometimes, if she ever thinks of me.
If she knows that I kept only one picture of her. Anything else was just too painful. In the picture, she doesn't know I am taking it until the camera flash goes off. She has been sitting at the ডেস্ক in her old bedroom, and she is half-smiling.
**************************************************
I walk up to her, not breaking eye contact. Nothing existed but her.
The little girl was perched on her hip.
I trailed my fingers down her jawline. She still didn't move.
"Why did আপনি leave?"
I wonder, sometimes, if she ever thinks of me.
If she knows that I kept only one picture of her. Anything else was just too painful. In the picture, she doesn't know I am taking it until the camera flash goes off. She has been sitting at the ডেস্ক in her old bedroom, and she is half-smiling.
**************************************************
I walk up to her, not breaking eye contact. Nothing existed but her.
The little girl was perched on her hip.
I trailed my fingers down her jawline. She still didn't move.
"Why did আপনি leave?"
Time is just a thing.
আপনি can't ever have to little.
আপনি can always have enough.
But when আপনি look at it,
our lives are just a piece.
A piece of what time has to give.
So why not live the fullest,
to what we can.
Why waste it wishing,
on something you'll never have.
Let time do its own thing,
so we can do ours.
আপনি see time is mysterious.
It controls our lives.
And in one quick second,
our time may be up.
So take what you're given,
and give nothing back.
With time nothing is ever what it seems.
আপনি can't ever have to little.
আপনি can always have enough.
But when আপনি look at it,
our lives are just a piece.
A piece of what time has to give.
So why not live the fullest,
to what we can.
Why waste it wishing,
on something you'll never have.
Let time do its own thing,
so we can do ours.
আপনি see time is mysterious.
It controls our lives.
And in one quick second,
our time may be up.
So take what you're given,
and give nothing back.
With time nothing is ever what it seems.
Photograph by Ansel Adams
I'm just drifting, drifting down this road.
The dust kicking up behind me,
Just a মেঘ to hide my past.
My feet don't leave any footprints,
My name never graces those lips
That I'm watching from a distance,
A distance that grows greater
As I'm drifting, drifting down this road.
I'm not on the way to anything great,
I'm just hiding, hiding down in the dark.
The shadows closing in around me,
Just a blanket to smother my past.
My eyes can't see in the gloom,
My voice never breaks the silence
That I keep deep in my heart,
A হৃদয় that grows blacker
As I'm drifting, drifting in the dark.
