May 24th
I haven't been able to write the past 2 days, the voice is driving me crazy, LITERALLY. Somtimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night and will find myself holding another ছুরি অথবা gun and padding up the stairs to the bedrooms. After last night when I woke up holding a gun my hand on my mother's bedroom door, I saw Sasha staring at me wide eyed, from her bedroom door and I dropped the gun. She looked terrified and her breathing was hard, I ran over to her where she shied away the fear of me in her eyes made tears well up in mine. "Sasha, baby come here." I held my arms out to her and I guess it was somthing in my eyes because she dashed up to me and hugged me close. "You wouldn't would you?" her voice was pricked with yet আরো fear and I whispered. "Sasha I promise I would never hurt you, never, অথবা mom okay?" She hugged me even closer "You promise?" And I filled myself with determination "I promise sweetie I would never hurt you, never." and she refused to let go of me so I carried her into her room and we both fell asleep...
May 25th
I haven't slept at all. After the night of May 24th and the promise I made Sasha, I refuse to let myself sleep.
On the other side of things Sasha hasn't ব্যক্ত a word about that Night, which I'm glad of, she even dragged me down to the lake where she had set up two painting canvases. She knows I প্রণয় আরো then anything to paint. We both sat there painting away, I looked out onto the lake and used my shades of blue and green and purple soon I had a perfect picture, as I began to zone out, into one of those zones where আপনি don't realize what your doing, I blinked and suddenly was blending shades of red into the water, blood. I quickly looked over to make sure Sasha hadn't seen and splashes my blues and greens back over it and set the brushes down. I was so thankful when mothers voice called us for dinner.
I haven't been able to write the past 2 days, the voice is driving me crazy, LITERALLY. Somtimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night and will find myself holding another ছুরি অথবা gun and padding up the stairs to the bedrooms. After last night when I woke up holding a gun my hand on my mother's bedroom door, I saw Sasha staring at me wide eyed, from her bedroom door and I dropped the gun. She looked terrified and her breathing was hard, I ran over to her where she shied away the fear of me in her eyes made tears well up in mine. "Sasha, baby come here." I held my arms out to her and I guess it was somthing in my eyes because she dashed up to me and hugged me close. "You wouldn't would you?" her voice was pricked with yet আরো fear and I whispered. "Sasha I promise I would never hurt you, never, অথবা mom okay?" She hugged me even closer "You promise?" And I filled myself with determination "I promise sweetie I would never hurt you, never." and she refused to let go of me so I carried her into her room and we both fell asleep...
May 25th
I haven't slept at all. After the night of May 24th and the promise I made Sasha, I refuse to let myself sleep.
On the other side of things Sasha hasn't ব্যক্ত a word about that Night, which I'm glad of, she even dragged me down to the lake where she had set up two painting canvases. She knows I প্রণয় আরো then anything to paint. We both sat there painting away, I looked out onto the lake and used my shades of blue and green and purple soon I had a perfect picture, as I began to zone out, into one of those zones where আপনি don't realize what your doing, I blinked and suddenly was blending shades of red into the water, blood. I quickly looked over to make sure Sasha hadn't seen and splashes my blues and greens back over it and set the brushes down. I was so thankful when mothers voice called us for dinner.
1.I'am not as peaceful as I may seem...
2.I'am known for horrible reasons...
3.I hate myself for the things I've done to myself, such as break my own arm...on pupose.
4.I lie....
5.As much as I tal about peace, I always prevent it..
5.My brothers take me for ganted...
6.I have taken a life once..
7.I'am just another bad উৎস of destruction sometimes..
8.I get really defensive when ever they talk about my parents..
9.I have scars from the beatings I took...
10.I'am quite a pervert, not to my বন্ধু though..
This isn't even half of the bad things about me. If আপনি knew all the pain I've gon through, It would make আপনি go insane. I have suffered too much from pain. It makes my head ache if I ever think of my pain.... It makes me cry until it hurts whenever I remeber me hurting myself. I hope this dosen't make আপনি hate me even more...
2.I'am known for horrible reasons...
3.I hate myself for the things I've done to myself, such as break my own arm...on pupose.
4.I lie....
5.As much as I tal about peace, I always prevent it..
5.My brothers take me for ganted...
6.I have taken a life once..
7.I'am just another bad উৎস of destruction sometimes..
8.I get really defensive when ever they talk about my parents..
9.I have scars from the beatings I took...
10.I'am quite a pervert, not to my বন্ধু though..
This isn't even half of the bad things about me. If আপনি knew all the pain I've gon through, It would make আপনি go insane. I have suffered too much from pain. It makes my head ache if I ever think of my pain.... It makes me cry until it hurts whenever I remeber me hurting myself. I hope this dosen't make আপনি hate me even more...
Disappear
Can't আপনি feel me?
Can't আপনি feel the pain?
Yeah words hurt,
Can't আপনি see the crack in my heart?
And then I'll be all alone
Just me and my shattered heart
Can't আপনি see me disappear?
Can't আপনি see my despair?
Can't আপনি see I'd rather die
Then ever have to say goodbye?
Obviously আপনি don't
Because আপনি let me disappear
আপনি don't প্রণয় me
আপনি don't care
আপনি sat there
and watched me disappear
Cant আপনি feel me?
Can't আপনি see?
Can't আপনি see I've disappeared?
Cant আপনি see my crys of despair?
Can't আপনি see I'd rather die
then ever have to say goodbye?
Hello?
Are আপনি there?
Can আপনি help me
Before I disappear?
Cant আপনি see others like me
Dead in there own pool of blood?
অথবা am I gone?
Cuz আপনি act like it, hon,
Am I really already gone?
Can't আপনি feel me?
Can't আপনি feel the pain?
Yeah words hurt,
Can't আপনি see the crack in my heart?
Can't আপনি see me?
Don't আপনি care?
No
Because আপনি let me
Disappear
Can't আপনি feel me?
Can't আপনি feel the pain?
Yeah words hurt,
Can't আপনি see the crack in my heart?
And then I'll be all alone
Just me and my shattered heart
Can't আপনি see me disappear?
Can't আপনি see my despair?
Can't আপনি see I'd rather die
Then ever have to say goodbye?
Obviously আপনি don't
Because আপনি let me disappear
আপনি don't প্রণয় me
আপনি don't care
আপনি sat there
and watched me disappear
Cant আপনি feel me?
Can't আপনি see?
Can't আপনি see I've disappeared?
Cant আপনি see my crys of despair?
Can't আপনি see I'd rather die
then ever have to say goodbye?
Hello?
Are আপনি there?
Can আপনি help me
Before I disappear?
Cant আপনি see others like me
Dead in there own pool of blood?
অথবা am I gone?
Cuz আপনি act like it, hon,
Am I really already gone?
Can't আপনি feel me?
Can't আপনি feel the pain?
Yeah words hurt,
Can't আপনি see the crack in my heart?
Can't আপনি see me?
Don't আপনি care?
No
Because আপনি let me
Disappear