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posted by Kyssmig
A wealthy man lives alone in a small cottage. Being partially handicapped he had everything delivered to his cottage. The mailman was delivering a letter one Thursday when he noticed that the front door was ajar. Through the opening he could see the man's body lying in a pool of dried blood.

When a police officer arrived he surveyed the scene. On the porch were two bottles of warm milk, Monday's newspaper, a catalog, flyers, and unopened mail. The police officer suspects it was foul play. Who does he suspect and why?
posted by i_luv_Pelon_xxx
Its not finished yet but I'm gonna continue it...this is (will be) also avadable on my DA account

One day, a little girl named kaluri was at the zoo. She loved monkeys, she loved throwing the chips for them, but mostly attrackted seagulls and other un-monkey like flying pests. She loved turtals too, untill one farted on her and turned her insane. Right now, she is sitting in a mental heatbox in a mental প্রথমপাতা for mental hoes and can't stop shaking her head from side to side and moving it round it a বৃত্ত like some retarded freak. She also eats air, don't do drugs kids. This child...
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posted by koalagirl9
নমস্কার babe sittin there
আপনি dont see my sitting behind your chair
Im staring a at আপনি and আপনি butt
and on the back of your leg there is a cut
আপনি got it shaving in the ঝরনা
i watched আপনি threw the window for আরো then a hour
i saw আপনি fighting with your mom
about your newest stepdad Tom.
Now আপনি saw me just my hat.
Now আপনি hit me with a bat.
Ow is all that i can say.
But i still stalk আপনি anyway.
I see আপনি with your boyfriend.
But does he know it is the end.
I stab his back with a knife.
Now আপনি both are screaming for your life.
And just cuz i feel like it and that is true.
I take out i ছুরি and stab আপনি to.
Now that i've stalked her today.
Im coming for আপনি so run away.
posted by akatsuki_lover9
Ways to Annoy:
1.say a যেভাবে খুশী word for no reason all the time.
2.put spicy stuff in a খাবার they like.
3.make a loud farting noise from your mouth and say "uh oh, i sharted."
4.make a farting noise from your mouth and blame it on the guy পরবর্তি to you.
5.go to a drive thru, get your face right up to the speaker and yell as loud as আপনি can.
6.make a REALLY annoying noise all the time.
7.Write using only crayons, markers and paint.
8.When guests are at your house go into the রান্নাঘর and come out with ketchup all over আপনি and say "THE BOOGIE MAN IS HERE!" a bunch of times.
9.in school if there's a problem...
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All with [x] apply to me. All of these are ridiculous and I don't agree with any of them.

1) I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

2) I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.

3) I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

4) I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.

5) [x] I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. (no)

6) I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

7) I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. (this one is VERY offensive, and hurts. My favourite singer DIED from AIDS, and he was bi, and an amazing, beautiful man)

8) I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

9) I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

10) [x] I SPEAK MY MIND, so...
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posted by hetaliaitaly
It stalks the night
It stalks the day
It seeks out life
And whisks it away
It's known as death
And other things too
But it's all the same
What matters is you.
How do আপনি see it?
What does it mean?
It's best if আপনি know
For death is unseen.
It can take আপনি at day
It can take আপনি at night
Knowing death well
Can lend আপনি some light
The passage to death
Is always unclear
And it's best to know
That you're very near.
For death is at hand
It is for us all
Know it's face well
So আপনি don't stumble and fall
Now think hard on death
And know that it's near
And the meaning of life
Will be all to clear
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A comedic spin on pop culture ভ্যাম্পায়ার and scary চলচ্চিত্র in general, tells the story of three teens who believe their new babysitter is a real bloodsucking creature of the night -- and it's now up to them to rid their sleepy little town of the menace.

I প্রণয় this show, and for the parent freaking out over it being "inappropriate" they have a time on ডিজনি channel for kids it goes to noon. Shouldn't be that hard to avoid a প্রদর্শনী that airs late, and its not obscene, and she wasn't "making out" with anyone It was a peck like everything else on Disney. Do yourself a favor and switch to Disney.

Anyway I প্রণয় this show! So no I guess its not only children that watch the ডিজনি channel. I প্রণয় the characters. It's interesting and funny, I প্রণয় that its not a typical ডিজনি comedy and I প্রণয় that there's no annoying laughter in the background! Anyway I recommend it :)
posted by Lady10358
 This is the one you're supposed to read
This is the one you're supposed to read
Olny srmat poelpe can raed this. I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and আপনি can still raed it wouthit a porbelm.This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter দ্বারা istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If আপনি can raed this psas it on!!...
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posted by Musiclover456
1. Do আপনি sleep in your bra ; no
2. Does your dad know আপনি like boys yet ; yes
3. Do আপনি enjoy drama ; no!
4. Are আপনি a girly girl ; not much
... 5. Small অথবা large purses ; ehhh I don’t carry much stuff so small
6. Are আপনি short ; I guess im 5’ 2’’
7. Do আপনি like somebody ; yes
8. Do আপনি care if your socks are dirty ; of course
... 9. Do আপনি like হ্যালোইন ; OF COURSE♥
10. Are আপনি double jointed ; a little
11. Where is the weirdest place you've slept ; in the car
12. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours ; no
13. Is there any type of rumor going around about আপনি ;not...
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posted by awesomeblossom1
Here's some of my fave "I wasnt that drunk" jokes hope আপনি like :)
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when আপনি heard someone talking on the intercom, আপনি fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give আপনি a ride প্রথমপাতা and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a মাশরুম and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples...
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posted by Surfer_Girl_16
._. অথবা (._.) indecisive
:-) অথবা =] অথবা :) অথবা =) অথবা :] অথবা :^) অথবা :D অথবা :^D Smile অথবা happy
:-L অথবা =L অথবা o¬o Drool অথবা Zombie. Being tired.
,':Y An inquisitive duck.
:-( অথবা =( অথবা D: অথবা D= Frown অথবা Sad
<3 )~ A mouse
xP অথবা XP Straining, disgust, bad joke, dead, dead from laughing, silliness
xD অথবা XD Laughing hard (often taken as Cartman from the television
show South Park)
X8 laughing hard while covering mouth with hands
:S অথবা :s অথবা =S অথবা =s confused
:Þ অথবা :þ অথবা =b অথবা =Þ happy, dropped jaw, raspberry
:/ অথবা : অথবা =/ অথবা = Skepticism, annoyance, uneasiness, অথবা a slight
frown; dissatisfaction, lack of favourable...
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posted by Princess_seki
    You may fall from the sky, আপনি may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in প্রণয় with me.

Do আপনি believe in প্রণয় at first sight, অথবা should I walk দ্বারা again?    

Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it.    

It's a good thing that I have my লাইব্রেরি card. Why? Because I am totally checking আপনি out!!    

If a fat man puts আপনি in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted আপনি for Christmas.    

If I received a nickel...
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posted by THARWAH
Boys bands have been dominating the average teenagers lives over the past decades... i thought it would be a good idea to post this প্রবন্ধ :) মতামত on whether আপনি agree with my choices অথবা NOT, add some of your own xx Peace.love.lipgloss

-Qiki Joe

10# Mindless Behaviour

9# JLS

8# The Jackson 5

7# The Beatles


5# The Wanted

4# Backstreet Boys

3# Westlife

2# Big Time Rush

1# One Direction :)

the reason ONE DIRECTION is number one is simply because, together with their boyish good looks (they actually smoking), they have angelic voices creating a perfect combination and stealing us girls hearts everywhere... Boys dont be shy to say আপনি প্রণয় the too! wink - wink
There was a super gorgeous girl named Sana . her stunning hairs, beautiful face , seductive lips were enough to tempt any boy to চুম্বন her , no girl could match her beauty despite of all good qualities there was something that was making her worried and sick and it was her mental condition , when she was 4 she was cursed দ্বারা a WITCH that every দিন at 12 noon she would become mental for an ঘন্টা and she was told that a চুম্বন from a super hot boy will get her rid of the CURSE.....since then she desperately waited for that super hot boy ......... one দিন exactly at 12 noon she came out of her house...
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Trolls are the main cause of people wanting to leave websites. This is really PATHETIC. I have no knowledge of why these people do these things, অথবা why people give into it... I wish trolls would get a life and live it instead of terrorizing other people and lowering their self esteem. If you're a troll and আপনি think it's funny, think again. Trolling is only funny on Memes & Rage comics. Trolls are pointless.. They're just big bullies that don't give a flying squirrel's butt bout other people's feelings and lives. This might be redundant but I don't care. TROLLS, GET A LIFE AND STOP MESSING WITH OTHER'S LIVES, আপনি SICK, SICK PEOPLE.

আপনি have no place to tell ANYONE how to live, অথবা what they are, অথবা even if they annoy you. Stop making people feel like crap just because your life sucks, অথবা because আপনি think it's fun. Get out in the REAL world and do something about it.

Thank you.

"Haters Gonna Hate, Mah-Homies Gonna Love."

^^ Austin Mahone joke. :P
posted by purplepep4
 i'm the one in the middle with the brown hair!
i'm the one in the middle with the brown hair!
Hey! Everybody yesterday (4-19-2012) was mustache day! So who ever didn't wear a mustache আপনি should of! আপনি want to know why? Then i will tell you!(not!)(no i will tell you!) Cuz mustaches are awesome! i know your jelly! why? Cuz আপনি don't have an awesome mustache like me! ( in your face!) ^_^ I'm sorry for hurting your feelings. It's just that I have a awesome mustache and আপনি don't! i need to go to my interview now if আপনি like আপনি can stick around.
person 1: so how much do আপনি like mustaches?
me: well this is the only time i will have a mustache till পরবর্তি বছর so.....idk!
person 1:come on...
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posted by IloveMyLord
Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. প্রণয় yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.
Cherie-Carter Scotts
Trust opens up new and unimagined possibilities.
Robert C. Solomon
Many people are blind to trust, not so much to its benefits as to its nature and the practices that make it possible.
Robert C. Solomon
All trust involves vulnerability and risk, and nothing would count as trust if there were no possibility of betrayal.
Robert C. Solomon
Trust is a skill, one that is an aspect of virtually all human practices, cultures, and relationships.
Robert C. Solomon
Trust is a...
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posted by australia-101
37 Rude & Crude Pick-up Lines
1. I wish আপনি were a door so I could slam আপনি all day.
2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
3. Do আপনি work for UPS? I thought I saw আপনি checking out my package.
4. You've got 206 অস্থি in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy আপনি a drink অথবা do আপনি just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted বিছানা Thrasher: have আপনি seen one?
8. I'm fighting the urge to make আপনি the happiest woman on earth tonight.
9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and আপনি can...
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These are supposedly actual answering machine announcements.

1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to আপনি as soon as we're finished.

2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

3. Hi. This is John: If আপনি are the phone company, I already sent the money. If আপনি are my parents, please send money. If আপনি are my financial aid institution, আপনি didn't lend me enough money. If আপনি are my friends, আপনি owe me money. If আপনি are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

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posted by victoria7011
Well hey!This is a তালিকা of 20 things to annoy your parents...

1.Say "thats hot!" after EVERY thing আপনি say

2.Take all of the toilet paper from the bathroom and try to sell it to ur parents.

3.Look through magazines and shout loudly "BRITTANY IS MARRIED TO A CAVE MAN!" and other যেভাবে খুশী things whenever your parents are near you.

4.When they say a word from a song আপনি know,burst into that song.

5.Tap on their door all night.

6.At everything they say yell "LIAR!!"

7.Hold their hand and whisper to them "I see dead people."

8.Switch the light button on and off for awhile. Then say "Oh...I get it!"

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