There are 5 things আপনি need to know-

This প্রবন্ধ is basically:
1. My story on how I got sucked into the Twilight Universe.
2. My life story on how Twilight has changed me. A lot.
3. A rant on why I like and hate about the series.
4. A confession on why I can't seem to get over with hating and loving it.
5. An opinion about how my life could have been without Twilight.

WARNING: Overall, this প্রবন্ধ is about... why I think Twilight isn't that 'bad' after all. It's going to be lengthy. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

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This had me wondering for a while and to be honest, I'm still perfectly puzzled with myself. We all know that the Twilight Series is horribly flawed and Stephenie Meyer does not deserve the praise that she has been receiving for a horrible series of books. (Well, not everyone...) I know it as well. That realization (finally!) hit me when I reread the বই a few times. How long it has taken me to realize the বই aren't as good as they seem makes me feel really silly. But what can আপনি expect from a 14-15 বছর old girl who had no clue what romance অথবা প্রণয় is?

Phase 1:

Anyway, it was my best friend who recommended the বই to me. When I started পাঠ করা the series, I was completely hooked. A girl who falls in প্রণয় with a vampire- forbidden love... "OMG. That was so ROMANTIC!", the ignorant me thought. It took me a দিন to finish the book and I went on with New Moon. After finishing New Moon in a single day, I was craving for আরো and I borrowed my friend's copy of Breaking Dawn... At that time, I thought Breaking Dawn wasn't too bad *facepalm*, I sighed at B&E's wedding and honeymoon, I pitied Jacob when পাঠ করা his POV, I was annoyed with Bella who was angry with Jacob for imprinting on her daughter and I was so 'happy' that everyone got their 'happily ever after'. But honestly, I hated Bella ever since she became a vampire. (lol) After that, I got my copy of Eclipse. I couldn't wait for my friend to lend me her copy, so I bought one for myself. Anyway, I really enjoyed it. Later, I bought the whole series.

After পাঠ করা the entire series, I guess আপনি can say that I was in a Twilight daze. When I went grocery shopping and I saw this বাক্স of apples, I thought of Twilight. When a red truck passed দ্বারা me, I thought of Twilight. When I saw the name Edward in my Maths textbooks, I thought of Twilight. When I tripped over something, I thought of Twilight. Oh hell, everything I see অথবা do, I could relate it to Twilight.

That was Phase 1. Now here comes Phase 2:

When I heard that they were making a movie on Twilight, I was so happy(!). I got really excited and I wanted to know আরো about it. So, I fired up my computer, which I only used for school assignments, and started searching around the WWW. At that time, my knowledge on computers was really basic. I didn't even know how to start an যন্ত্রপত্র account. All I knew was ইউটিউব and Google. Oh, and not forgetting the old faithful Wikipedia, which has helped me with a lot of school projects. ;)

Back to the story... I started off দ্বারা downloading fanart, ছবি and a whole lot of প্রতিমূর্তি of Twilight through গুগুল images. From then onwards, I changed. In a good way and in a bad way. My computer skills improved A LOT. I found new websites, I learned how to use Photoshop দ্বারা myself, I finally set up my very own যন্ত্রপত্র account and I was very proud of it. LOL. I went surfing around the net, updating myself on the Twilight movie AND I found... Fanpop!

It was through the Twilight Series spot where I found Fanpop. I watched চলচ্ছবি after videos, answered picks and quizzes, browsed through the thousands of প্রতিমূর্তি and read প্রবন্ধ after articles. That was how I got addicted with ফ্যানপপ and I became a really active contributor to the Twilight spot. Oh and I was Team Edward back then.

And here is Phase 3:

I was all prepared for the Twilight movie. I went out with a bunch of বন্ধু to watch the movie. well, I didn't exactly like the movie but I was contented, for the time being (I never liked Kristen's acting. Muahahaha). Although I didn't like the movie, I got a copy of the Twilight movie poster from an entertainment magazine that I subscribed to and stuck it on my দেওয়াল with pride.

There was this interview of Robert Pattinson in the magazine. And they had a really pretty picture of Rob and Kristen (Remember- that was a really long, LONG time ago) and I just... fell in প্রণয় with the picture. I cut it out and tried to sketch it out. And now, THIS was when I found out that I had a gift in art. I was no Leonardo Da Vinci but anyway, I was so pleased with myself, like: OMG! I can't believe I drew this!! I started doing a lot of sketches after that. Later, I started doing paintings too and took part in several competitions. I won in some and হারিয়ে গেছে in some. =)

Hope I'm not boring you. Wait, I already am. Anyway, if you're still পাঠ করা this, here's Phase 4:

Visiting ফ্যানপপ daily became a habit. I reread the বই again and again and I wasn't tired of them. Rereading the বই made me like Jacob even more. I understood him better. I've never hated him. Soon, I switched to Team Switzerland. Then... the New Moon movie. PERIOD. I was in full fangirl mode. Got involved in many Twilight fansites, especially newmoonmovie.org. I made a number of online বন্ধু and I finally graduated to Facebook. =D

A few months has passed and I was still stuck with the same old books. Soon, I saw the light and I got terribly bored with the Bella & Edward... thing. The আরো times I reread the books, the আরো I disliked Bella and Edward and I grew to like Jacob even more. And I started to have this funny feeling about Breaking Dawn.How did this happen? Now, here's my current opinion on Twilight.

1. I realized there was nothing romantic about Edward and Bella at all. Sure, Edward cared about Bella and was extremely protective of her and Bella was madly in love with him. But I began to question. How did they fell in love? What are those special qualities that they see in each other that made them willing to die for each other? The আরো I reread the books, the আরো I began to question. I was no longer 'attracted' to Edward. I thought that his so-I-thought romantic lines were like those from Hallmark cards. I began to really despise Bella. I was like: Why the hell didn't she do this...?? অথবা this...? What the f**k was she thinking?? I had multiple headdesk occasions.

2. I began to understand Jacob. I know a lot of people dislike him and I understand that. He has plenty of weak points and was an idiot in some occasions. That is what I like about him. He has flaws, just like the rest of us, which makes him আরো realistic. Otherwise, I thought he was a really nice guy. I mean- what kind of guy would actually allow himself to be some wimpy girl's crying shoulder and let himself be brokenhearted so many times দ্বারা a girl whom he actually really cared for? (IMO, I don't think such a guy like Jacob in the world exist. Seriously. Meyer is really good at making me delusional. I SHALL NOT FALL UNDER YOUR SPELL, MEYER!!!)

3. Breaking Dawn. *barfs* At first, I was totally comfortable with Renesmee being with Jacob. Then, it all started to make sense. NOT. How is imprinting ever going to work out? How in the world is it possible for Bella to be pregnant with some dead guy's sperm? Why can't Jacob just fall in প্রণয় like a normal guy? Why did he have to imprint on a BABY?? Meyer went against her own logic. If imprinting was supposed to make stronger wolves, why did Jacob imprint on Renesmee? If she was going to stop growing 7 years later, how the hell is she going to reproduce to make stronger নেকড়ে and BLAHBLAHBLAH?? It would have made আরো sense if he imprinted on some other Quileute girls but RENESMEE? Come on. And don't tell me that Jacob fell in প্রণয় with Bella because of her... ovum.

Anyway, I still wasn't over Twilight but I was over Edward and Bella. And then... I found the Critical Analysis of Twilight(CAT) spot!

Until now, I'm still amazingly in প্রণয় with this spot. ♥♥♥ I প্রণয় পাঠ করা the প্রবন্ধ and other Fanpoppers' মতামত (especially the antis). And how could I have ignored all those funny প্রতিমূর্তি in the CAT spot? :D I enjoyed being part of the CAT spot and I still do.

How about now? Phase 5:

To be completely honest, I think I never fully got over Twilight. There are parts in it that I still enjoy but I'm no longer like: TWILIGHT IS THE BEST BOOK THAT I'VE EVER READ! I watched the চলচ্চিত্র (Twilight & New Moon) and I'm waiting to watch the পরবর্তি one- Eclipse.

And I'm sure that I'm still on Team Jacob and not an anti. I never was, although sometimes I may sound like one. Why I can't seem to get over it, like many other ex-Twilighters in the CAT spot, still remains a mystery to me. And like I've ব্যক্ত earlier, I'm well aware that Twilight is a really overrated book. *coughs*

Well... MAYBE it's because I'm able to relate with some of the characters in the books. অথবা MAYBE it's because Twilight has brought me closer with my বন্ধু and family (Twilight sometimes comes into our conversations every now and then, and I actually find those conversations pretty entertaining). অথবা MAYBE it's because I think that if Twilight was done and ended my way (no stupid pregnancy, no stupid imprinting, no stupid Renesmee, etc), it could have been better. অথবা MAYBE it's because I'm still shipping Bella & Jacob, even though there is no chance at all for them to be together in the end anymore. (That's why I've turned to Fanfiction.net. Guilty pleasure. *shrugs*)

অথবা MAYBE... it's because I grew up with Twilight. I can't deny that Twilight has changed me a lot. If it wasn't for Twilight, I might/could have (been):

1.an idiot with computers.
2.living under a rock and not know how to set up my own যন্ত্রপত্র account.
3.not discovered that I had a thing for art and not took part in those art contests and won those prizes and made my parents proud.
4.not be able to differentiate between good literature materials with bad ones.
5.not discovered ফ্যানপপ and the CAT spot & met the many awesome people around here. =)
6.not realized that there is আরো to life than being irrevocably in প্রণয় with a guy. অথবা in Twilight's case- a vampire...
7.not be as close with my বন্ধু and cousins as I am with them now.
8.not discovered the wonders of the WWW. There are other websites besides Wikipedia! Ooohhh...
9.not realized that প্রণয় is not about exchanging romantic words with each other. Instead... প্রণয় is just friendship on fire.
10. a very boring person. I think. =P

I guess what I'm trying to say is that behind every bad thing, event অথবা even a book, there is bound to be something positive about it. Although Twilight isn't a really good book, which sends out the a lot of wrong messages to young girls out there, I have to admit that I have learned a lot from it. It's funny how Twilight has brought a lot of changes in my life, and IMO, most of them are positive ones too.


~rachaelwsz

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Oh wow. This is... my longest essay/article. Ever. My English teacher will be very proud of me... but not with my grammatical errors. I hope আপনি don't mind the rant. I badly needed a good, long rant. =P