So let's say you're talking to your বন্ধু and gesturing wildly, and because you're not paying attention, আপনি manage to honk some part of a passing stranger's anatomy that is traditionally covered দ্বারা underpants; spinning around to apologize, আপনি instead topple down a staircase and faceplant into a wedding cake, whereupon আপনি realize that your pants are unbuttoned. Would this be
a.) the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to আপনি অথবা
b.) a Tuesday?

Everyone's awkward from time to time, but until now it's been impossible to determine, numerically, just how awkward আপনি are.

Well, this Awkwardness Test is as numerical as they get, because it has numbers, and it's hard to mess up, even if আপনি are still covered in wedding cake. All আপনি need to do is add a point if one of these situations has happened to আপনি in the past month.


•You start to tell a joke ("So this হাঁস walks into a library..."). It turns out to be terribly inappropriate. ("Hey, my brother's in the hospital because of ducks!")

•Impossibly, someone আপনি have a crush on sits down to say hello to আপনি at lunch. আপনি have just crammed an entire কেক in your mouth.

•Walking down the street, আপনি gradually become aware that আপনি have no idea how to দোল your arms.

•You gleefully shoulder your way into a whispered conversation, expecting it to be about juicy gossip. It is about a dead grandma.

•Nobody is laughing at your hilarious story. আপনি panic and keep embellishing until it has killer bees in it.

•You spend far too much time on a text অথবা যন্ত্রপত্র exactly flirty and suggestive enough to send to your new SO. আপনি promptly mis-send it to your mom.

•You rush around a blind corner and plow directly into someone cute. Sobbing is involved. Someone requires stitches.

•You text someone with the kind of casual joke-insults আপনি typically use with close friends. Your message is taken too sincerely.


•Attempting to be fun, আপনি grievously wound someone; e.g. your no-look behind-the-back pass breaks your best friend's glasses অথবা face. Add an additional point if your pass misses your friend and ricochets off a baby.

•"Hi, (Firstname!)" some good friend says to you. আপনি respond: "Oh, hey, ...uh...." সেকেন্ড pass. Oh my goodness, আপনি think to yourself. Caitlin? Carl? Captain Crunch? I have absolutely no idea what this person's name is. (Add an additional point if all the possible উত্তর collapse
together in your head and come out as something that could not possibly be a name, e.g. "Hi... Clourtleen?")



Tally up your points, one per situation.

0: Impossibly slick. Wow, আপনি are the smoothest person we know! AT LYING, PROBABLY.

1-2: Cool and composed. আপনি are the equivalent of putting on sunglasses and walking away in slow motion.

3-7: Ordinary. You're no আরো অথবা less awkward than the পরবর্তি person, assuming the পরবর্তি person is not Michael Cera.

8-10: Michael Cera. You're awkward enough that it has become endearing. Consider a film career.

11-12: Michael Cera tripping into a waiter carrying tray of pies. আপনি are the essence of bumbling awkwardness. Purchase good insurance immediately.

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