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posted by greenstergirl
1. I asked God for a bike. But I know God doesn't work that way. So I গাউন a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag আপনি down and beat আপনি with experience.

3. Going to church doesn't make আপনি Christian even আরো then standing in a গ্যারেজ makes আপনি a car.

4. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. Its still on the তালিকা though.

5. war does not determine who is right- only who is left.

6. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, please notify....." I put DOCTOR.

7.Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at প্রথমপাতা even if আপনি wish they were.

8. I thought I wanted a career- turns out all I wanted was paychecks.

9. At a train station a train stops. At a bus station a bus stops. At my desk, I have a work station. Thats where my work stops.

10. When tempted to fight আগুন with আগুন remember the আগুন department usually uses water.

11. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

12. You're never too old to learn something extremely stupid.

13. I'm not crazy- I'm just mentally insane.

14. Don't die. Its bad for your health.

15. I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured দ্বারা a white হাঙ্গর অথবা if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

16. why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for miss america?
posted by MrssBieber320
Ever met that one person that আপনি just wanna মুষ্ট্যাঘাত in the face , then someohow , আপনি end up in a relationship with them , আপনি fall in প্রণয় , and then watch things crash and burn in your face (and thats not the only thing আপনি want to burn either (:]) Well if আপনি still have feelings for that person im gonna help আপনি get him/her back , note that this may only work for a girl though , cuause guys cant hit us , but we can surelly slap আপনি guys (: , ohk so আপনি could first start off দ্বারা doing q of two simple things
1) light all the stuuf he gave আপনি on আগুন ... on his front lawn
2) give them back to...
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If you’re an animal lover, like me, this story might be to much to take. But I can’t believe people can be so cruel. But I believe that when someone abuses a poor defenseless animal, that someone should be প্রদত্ত LIFE in prison without the possibility অথবা parole.

A Mesa, Arizona man who killed a 6-week-old kitten after a pet পাইথন refused to eat it was প্রদত্ত three years of supervised probation on Friday.

Jeremy Tuffly, 29, pleaded guilty May 11 in Maricopa County Superior Court to one count of cruelty to animals, a Class 6 felony, court records show.

The charge followed after Maricopa County Sheriff's Office deputies learned of a DVD প্রদর্শিত হচ্ছে Tuffly repeatedly throwing the kitten at the পাইথন in 2002 in an attempt to get the snake to attack it, according to MCSO.

When the পাইথন failed to eat the kitten, Tuffly kicked it across the yard, authorities previously said. The kitten then died.
okay here`s some tips for those who dont know how to date.....
1- be always self confident , have some self a steam .
2- be always c00l.
3- turn off ur cellphone during the date...always.
4-be always happy, happy with everything..with ur life.
5- if u really want him as ur bf অথবা date.....try to be cool ,use the words like: yeah totally,or however....try to be little care less about him... ...lol
6- dont be bushy....stay calm and dont complain alot ....jst a little but not alot....
i cant remember anymore so......ill see u the পরবর্তি time.....thank u all for পাঠ করা this..and plz মতামত ,have all a gr8 day..peace ^_^
posted by tooch
I do not own any of these. If used, please credit teenthings@twitter.com

We all do, say, think অথবা relate to these, in some way অথবা another:

-When আপনি forget someone's name আপনি wait for someone else to say it so আপনি don't look like an idiot asking.
-I pick things up with my feet because I'm too lazy to bend down.
-I don't মোছা my texts until it's 99% full.
-I hate when dinner's ready and আপনি are in the middle of something.
-I still sometimes buy kids meals only for the toy.
-I hate how I look after I cry.
-Saying 'Are আপনি kidding me?' even though আপনি know the person isn't.
-Stop pretending like...
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1.we hate it when আপনি grab our asses!!!(unless we are hoes)

2.when আপনি cheat,we hate আপনি and everything that has to do with you

3.dont act like আপনি understand PMS,because আপনি dont.So stop অভিনয় like it.

4.when আপনি stare at other girls,and we stare at other boys,and আপনি get all pissed off,you have no reason to speak.So আপনি may as well stfu.

5.when আপনি flirt,we flirt back,sometimes when we don't like you.and then we feel bad.So if আপনি arent sure,dont flirt.

6.If we like a celebritey(ex:Orlando Bloom,Zac Efron,Bill Kaulitz,etc etc.)and we say they are hot,dont act like আপনি dont care.We want...
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posted by Mallory101
 1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
179 Ways to Annoy People:


1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If আপনি have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal দ্বারা conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what আপনি think."

7. Claim that আপনি must always wear a bicycle শিরস্ত্রাণ as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone,...
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So you've just traveled to a foreign country, taken a subway আপনি never take, অথবা teleported to medieval England due to a time travel mishap. Your surroundings are strange, confusing, and possibly haunted. But instead of freaking out—due to frustration, confusions, and ghosts, respectively—you should follow these expert pointers to get yourself from হারিয়ে গেছে to un-lost.

1) DO ask for directions. DO NOT ask an axe murderer for directions.
People who see আপনি crying over a crumpled map are almost always helpful (axe murderers being a notable exception). Look for some official-seeming person অথবা kindly...
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Like the শিরোনাম says, Does Robert Pattinson die in remember me? My বন্ধু ব্যক্ত that he does and I just wanted to know. :):) :)
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Haley:Hey!Guys let's compare our self's to জীবন্ত and cartoon characters!

James:Okay.I'll go first!Haley আপনি remind me of...Akira Kogami from lucky star!

Haley:...I do NOT have constant mood swings between happy and cute to mean and bitchy!YOU FRIGGIN' SON OF A WHORE!!!

James:Haley I know what my parents are.

Jack:W-What!?

Haley:Alex আপনি remind me of...Alucard from Hellsing!

Alex:...That's nice...Kara reminds me of Haruhi Fujioka from Ouran high school host club.Bland and uninteresting.

Kara:Oh screw you!...Melissa you...wait how did আপনি get into my house?

Melissa:Well I'll have আপনি know I invited my...
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posted by HaleyDewit
Chris went to his bedroom and sank down on his bed. He lay down and stared at the ceiling. He wondered how the world outside would be like. Sure he had a clear view from behind his window, but it wasn’t the same as really be outside. He heard a familiar noise and a few সেকেন্ড later Bianca materialized in the center of his room. He looked up at her, with an angry look in his eyes.
“Thanks for betraying me, Bi” Bianca sighed and shrugged. “I was only trying to help you. Wyatt shouldn’t be treating আপনি this way and আপনি know it” “What can I do about it? He saved my life. He raised...
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User: Wendigo অথবা yeti.

Cleverbot: Who is Wendigo?

User: Wendigo is a abomination.

Cleverbot: Define abomination.

User: Abomination = # a person who is loathsome অথবা disgusting # abhorrence: hate coupled with disgust # an action that is vicious অথবা vile; an action that arouses disgust অথবা abhorrence; 'his treatment of the children is an abomination'.

Cleverbot: I only fear death, but I cannot even fear that much with আপনি at my side.

User: I do not fear death but I fear giving up on life.

User: I've gotta go mate speak আপনি soon babe.

Cleverbot: Don't leave!

Cleverbot: Well the meaning of life certainly isn't...
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posted by sapherequeen
It all began when I was eight-years-old. My mother had found a new boyfriend named Nate. The two of them had a steady relationship for some months before they finally decided to find a house to live in together. They relocated a house at a different রাস্তা in the same town I have been living in since I was 10-months-old. At first, it seemed like a nice street. It had this peaceful feeling to it, the feeling that just made আপনি feel like home. That was one of my greatest memories of the street, the feeling of প্রথমপাতা that it always gave me. I also made new বন্ধু immediately; a little girl named...
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Bananas can sometimes be just as dangerous as lemons, but remember, monkeys touched them a lot, so they have some portion of us stuck in them. Really, they can be just as sentimental as us. I swear, last night my copy of The Blind Side got stolen, and there was a কলা strangely close to the TV.....nevermind. Here's the তালিকা আপনি have to watch out for:

1.The simplest way is the কলা peel. Bananas like to be wackos and প্রদর্শনী themselves to the ladies, so they shed some skin and sit there on the most slippery surface they can get. Of course, they don't care about you---so if আপনি are near a slippery...
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WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the টেবিল with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the দুধ carton.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check অথবা charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a টেলিভিশন set in her purse.
"So, do আপনি always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied,...
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posted by McDreamyluva
LOLs!!

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !

HE: How did আপনি get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been প্রদত্ত your share !

HE: Will আপনি come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make আপনি very happy
SHE: Why? Are আপনি leaving?

HE: What would আপনি say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh...
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posted by ilovepenguins
1) If প্রণয় is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should আপনি believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that সারমেয় প্রণয় to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at আপনি if আপনি blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a বৃক্ষ falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the পঁচকোণ were...
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•    A few clowns short of a circus

•    A few fries short of a Happy Meal

•    A few beers short of a six-pack

•    Dumber than a box of hair

•    A few peas short of a ভাপে সিদ্ধ করার পাত্রবিশেষ

•    Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box

•    The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead

•    One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl

•    A few feathers short of a whole হাঁস

•    All foam, no beer...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
•    Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

•    Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.

•    At stop lights, eye the person in the পরবর্তি car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

•    Two words: Chicken suit.

•    Write the words “Help me” on your back window in red paint. The আরো it looks like blood, the better.

•    Stop at the green lights.

•    Go at the red ones.

•    Occasionally...
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posted by Rock_n_Roll671
Okay, I;m not saying আপনি should ACTUALLY do this, but if u want to, u can, and put in the মতামত which ones you're going to try out.
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1. When you're getting a drink of water at the water fountain, and he passes by, get a handfull of water and throw it at the crotch of his pants, and then yell, "HE PEED HIS PANTS!"

2. Run underwear up a flagpoll, solute, and when your princible scolds you, say, "You're just saying that cuz আপনি hate America."

3. When আপনি go to the princible's office, and when he asks why আপনি were sent, say, "I wrote that আপনি sucked...
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posted by musicfanaticXD
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited দ্বারা mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah মিষ্টান্ন and traveled দ্বারা Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an আপেল tree. One of their children,Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s son?”

3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened রুটি which is রুটি made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He...
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