1. It’s OK to kill people.
2. Dying doesn’t really matter much either.
3. If you’re 14, have hair covering your eyes and live in a small village, man up, because you’re going to have to save the world.
4. Medicine became obsolete in the বছর 2004, when doctors noticed that hiding behind a দেওয়াল caused human health to regenerate to 100%.
5. Eating stuff found on the floor is good for আপনি – your parents were wrong.
6. Sometime in the future, Earth will be menaced দ্বারা hordes of alien spacecraft that fly in predictable patterns and can be killed in one hit. The logical course of action will be to dispatch one ব্রেভ hero in an untested plane/tank/spaceship to take them all on without help.
7. Winners don’t use drugs.
8. Buildings may have crates full of goodies on their roofs, so always check, even if it means riding a motorbike up the আগুন escape.
9. Enemies, rather than approach আপনি directly, behave like Michael Flatley (of Riverdance fame) on a conveyor belt.
10. Keycards are only manufactured in primary colors.
11. Tanks will go faster if আপনি turn the চূড়া backwards and keep firing.
12. Anything in the world can be made from food, wood and gold.
13. Most guards forget আপনি unsuccessfully tried to strangle them after walking around for 20 seconds.
14. It’s surprising just how useful martial arts are on the modern battlefield.
15. When আপনি get shot, আপনি don’t feel any pain, nor does it affect your aim. However, it does cause your vision to turn red for a couple of seconds.
16. If a crown princess is abducted দ্বারা political dissidents অথবা terrorists it is advisable to avoid using Special Forces and instead hire the services of an Italian plumber অথবা a dizzy egg.
17. Firearms are most simply reloaded দ্বারা pointing them at the দেওয়াল and pulling the trigger.
18. Crates only contain one single item, much smaller than the বাক্স itself. The item will usually be in the dead centre of the বাক্স with no supporting packing material.
19. If you’re stuck in life and don’t know what to do, simply attempt to use every single item in your possession on your obstacle. If none of them work, go back the way আপনি came. You’ve clearly missed something.
21. Wrexham can win the Champions League if আপনি have about 483 full days to spare, 80% of which are spent waiting for CM04 to load (non-UK folk may not get this one).
22. Jumping on turtles’ heads is socially acceptable. Unless it’s being used as a euphemism for needing the toilet.
23. Contrary to জনপ্রিয় belief, আপনি don’t gain experience and knowledge দ্বারা education and hard work. আপনি get it from wandering around the countryside killing wildlife.
24. Princesses float farther than plumbers.
25. Despite what logic dictates, the ideal shape for a war robot is not squat, armored, with a low centre of gravity, but a bipedal humanoid. Ideally with hands to hold a gun, rather than built in weaponry.
26. Large men are slow but strong; women are fast but weak.
27. When আপনি look down, আপনি can’t see your feet.
28. Explosives don’t work on doors unless they’re a bit shinier than the other doors.
29. If working on high scaffolding, beware of gorillas throwing barrels off the শীর্ষ floor.
30. No girls.
31. Always be sure to smash any crates আপনি come across, they will always contain good things.
32. Despite the fact that modern weapons systems are effective over hundreds of miles, in the future all space/air/sea combat will be conducted within about 50 yards of the enemy.
33. Contrary to the strict regulations আপনি might think pilots have to adhere to, আপনি can actually fly any aircraft upside down beneath the Golden Gate Bridge without getting in trouble.
34. War is the best fun ever.
35. It doesn’t matter where আপনি shoot someone, even if it’s in the foot, as long as আপনি do it enough times there will eventually be an immediate transition between alive and dead.
36. There is no practical difference between walking into a weapon and picking it up.
37. In medieval times, women regularly fought in wars, wearing armor that afforded them equal protection to স্যুইটস্ of plate mail worn দ্বারা men, despite only covering about 3 inches of skin.
38. Most martial arts will teach আপনি how to throw fireballs at about green বেল্ট level.
39. Roman and medieval generals had a zoomable and rotatable 3D view of the battlefield, and controlled their soldiers দ্বারা clicking giant arrows.
40. Everyone speaks English, including Nazis, aliens and the living dead.
41. When your life ends আপনি will be প্রদত্ত 10 সেকেন্ড to decide whether আপনি fancy going again (in some circumstances this may cost আপনি some change).
42. As long as আপনি are wearing at least one ring আপনি will never die.
43. Pulling out a weapon makes আপনি see a + sign wherever আপনি look.
44. Running from side to side অথবা backwards is just as easy and quick as running forwards.
45. Never trust a giant monkey wearing a tie.
46. Graveyard zombies are predatory homosexuals, who’ll strip আপনি down to your Y-fronts.
47. Bus-loads of people will turn up to a mostly empty field to see a man in a hippo costume stand পরবর্তি to a mail box.
48. Fat people are always evil. If not from the beginning, they will betray আপনি eventually.
49. আপনি can only use a pair of skis once and the only ভান্দার selling them at resorts is invariably on the other side of a busy motorway with no visible means of a pedestrian thoroughfare.
50. Not only is it perfectly normal for জন্তু জানোয়ার to talk, but their default attitude is “sassy”.
51. Modern tank warfare will be replaced in the future দ্বারা building a very large number of tanks on the battlefield itself, then attacking the enemy’s strongest point head-on with hundreds of them at once.
52. আপনি know when আপনি have won a fight when your opponent stands still, waiting for আপনি to decapitate him.
53. Prostitutes will judge আপনি on the fanciness of your car and give আপনি 25% bonus health post-sex. This is only in the pre-AIDS ’80s. In 2008, আপনি will be tsk-ed at দ্বারা an Eastern European, which makes আপনি feel sick and guilty, even though you’ve been stabbing people all day.
54. Karate and driving can both be learned in মিনিট simply দ্বারা repeating sequential dance routines as requested দ্বারা cartoon animals.
55. Wearing a pair of white gloves to work every দিন may seem an unwise choice if your chosen career is plumbing, but, in reality, আপনি will never have to dirty your pristine mitts দ্বারা fishing a swollen, fetid tampon from a shit-clogged outflow pipe.
56. The bodies of your murdered victims will fade and disappear if আপনি wait for a few seconds.
57. Explosives are not stored, as আপনি might expect, in secure containers in controlled environments, but in barrels that are littered around combat zones at random. Highly-trained evil soldiers are quite happy to engage in sustained fire-fights while standing পরবর্তি to them.
58. Doing athletics really hurts your wrist after a while.
59. আপনি can’t ever trip, even when running backwards as fast as আপনি can while firing a shotgun.
60. World War II infantry jargon included such phrases as “lol”, “n00b” and “OMG HaXXoR!!11!” Modern counter-terrorist SWAT teams use the same phrases.
61. People wink out of existence when you’re not there to see them.
62. On the whole, আপনি can withstand a lot আরো bullets/punches/magic compared to the other guy.
63. Always shut the door behind you, especially if it looks like it might snow later on.
64. আপনি don’t need scintillating conversation get on in life. Two-word commands will do fine.
65. Many, if not all, problems can be solved with a Holy Hand Grenade.
66. Being on the goodies’ side doesn’t automatically make আপনি winners of The War.
67. আপনি can up your bank balance $1,000 at a time দ্বারা chanting ‘FUND’.
68. Kick enough কুকুরছানা and you’ll eventually gain the strength, wisdom and dexterity to take on ninjas.
69. খাবার can heal most serious injuries instantly.
70. Even cyborgs/ninjas/special agents able to smash whole cities with their fists and defeat the mightiest opponent in close combat are stumped when confronted with a locked door অথবা box, and have to go find the key.
71. সঙ্গীত spontaneously plays whenever আপনি do anything exciting.
72. Modern military training teaches that the best way to defeat an enemy is to stand stock still in plain view of the enemy and আগুন wildly. Making sinister noises to reveal your location is good, too.
73. If আপনি notice a discolored section on a brick wall, try running up really close and pressing on it, for it may give way and lead আপনি to a secret cache of weapons and armor.
74. Bullet holes will gradually disappear, foiling your attempts to draw a c--k and balls on the ground with a machine gun.
75. When you’ve run out of খাবার and stuff, just leave the house and then go back in again.
76. When আপনি kill people, sometimes they turn into খাবার অথবা money. অথবা some bullets.
77. আপনি can travel anywhere instantly, as long as you’ve been there before.
78. When crawling along air-conditioning ducts, if আপনি go অগ্রবর্তী and back a few times আপনি may অথবা may not see a pair of tits.
79. First aid kits can be applied to your injuries in under a second, and will instantly fix your injuries and make আপনি healthier.
80. Flashlights only last for one minute, but thankfully recharge themselves over time.
81. If you’re in a দুর্গ looking for a হারিয়ে গেছে loved one, they’re in another one.
82. If you’re good enough at trading/bartering – every single ভান্দার in the world will reduce their prices specially for you.
83. আপনি can lead a fulfilling and adventurous life, and keep several friends, without ever opening your mouth.
84. আপনি can shoot open a padlock, but locks on wooden doors only ever leave a dent.
85. It is possible to carry an infinite amount of items, including a full sunday roast spread, for no adequately explored reason, without impeding either your speed অথবা clothing.
86. “Sho-ryu-ken!” is the best opening line to start a punch-up in a pub.
87. Conversation is easy! Just think of two অথবা three possible responses, and pick the one আপনি think will lead to the greatest reward.
88. Firing a rocket launcher straight into the floor is an excellent idea, and will get আপনি cool stuff, provided আপনি jump into the air as আপনি do it.
89. Women who are experienced mercenaries and can carry multiple heavy weapons do not look like Bulgarian discus throwers, but are lithe, slim, and have very large breasts.
90. The world is packed with unexplored ruins, most of which are packed to the rafters with treasure. Despite this, no one has yet bothered to explore them.
91. The owners of theme parks/zoos/hospitals are able to pick up visitors to their attractions with a giant grapple, and drown them in lakes without penalty.
92. Being shot in the face is only a minor inconvenience, but going into an area আপনি are not supposed to will result in instant death.
93. Nazis/Alien Invaders/Evil Megacorps are always leaving medical supplies around for their opponents to heal themselves with. Their own soldiers are under strict instruction not to touch them. Ever.
94. The জনপ্রিয় third dimension was introduced in the ’80s, before which you’d simply shrink and সরানো আরো slowly to convey distance.
95. আপনি can probably fit another rocket launcher in your rucksack if আপনি carefully rearrange those four ammo clips and that কোকাকোলা can.
96. If someone আপনি don’t like is in a swimming pool, simply remove the steps to get out. Then they will be stuck and drown through exhaustion.
97. Frogs die in water.
98. আপনি can gaze at a woman’s tits for hours on end without either of আপনি becoming embarrassed. However, attempts to mount her from every side like a determined St. Bernard will always result in আপনি bouncing off her textured hide.
99. If আপনি win a really big fight, don’t relax until you’ve made sure there isn’t a much আরো powerful robot version of your late opponent lurking in a corner.
100. “Ninja” is the most common occupation on the planet, just above “Secret Agent” and “Alien in Disguise”.
101. Comprehensive military training can be acquired simply দ্বারা climbing a rope, crouching and firing down a range a few times.
2. Dying doesn’t really matter much either.
3. If you’re 14, have hair covering your eyes and live in a small village, man up, because you’re going to have to save the world.
4. Medicine became obsolete in the বছর 2004, when doctors noticed that hiding behind a দেওয়াল caused human health to regenerate to 100%.
5. Eating stuff found on the floor is good for আপনি – your parents were wrong.
6. Sometime in the future, Earth will be menaced দ্বারা hordes of alien spacecraft that fly in predictable patterns and can be killed in one hit. The logical course of action will be to dispatch one ব্রেভ hero in an untested plane/tank/spaceship to take them all on without help.
7. Winners don’t use drugs.
8. Buildings may have crates full of goodies on their roofs, so always check, even if it means riding a motorbike up the আগুন escape.
9. Enemies, rather than approach আপনি directly, behave like Michael Flatley (of Riverdance fame) on a conveyor belt.
10. Keycards are only manufactured in primary colors.
11. Tanks will go faster if আপনি turn the চূড়া backwards and keep firing.
12. Anything in the world can be made from food, wood and gold.
13. Most guards forget আপনি unsuccessfully tried to strangle them after walking around for 20 seconds.
14. It’s surprising just how useful martial arts are on the modern battlefield.
15. When আপনি get shot, আপনি don’t feel any pain, nor does it affect your aim. However, it does cause your vision to turn red for a couple of seconds.
16. If a crown princess is abducted দ্বারা political dissidents অথবা terrorists it is advisable to avoid using Special Forces and instead hire the services of an Italian plumber অথবা a dizzy egg.
17. Firearms are most simply reloaded দ্বারা pointing them at the দেওয়াল and pulling the trigger.
18. Crates only contain one single item, much smaller than the বাক্স itself. The item will usually be in the dead centre of the বাক্স with no supporting packing material.
19. If you’re stuck in life and don’t know what to do, simply attempt to use every single item in your possession on your obstacle. If none of them work, go back the way আপনি came. You’ve clearly missed something.
21. Wrexham can win the Champions League if আপনি have about 483 full days to spare, 80% of which are spent waiting for CM04 to load (non-UK folk may not get this one).
22. Jumping on turtles’ heads is socially acceptable. Unless it’s being used as a euphemism for needing the toilet.
23. Contrary to জনপ্রিয় belief, আপনি don’t gain experience and knowledge দ্বারা education and hard work. আপনি get it from wandering around the countryside killing wildlife.
24. Princesses float farther than plumbers.
25. Despite what logic dictates, the ideal shape for a war robot is not squat, armored, with a low centre of gravity, but a bipedal humanoid. Ideally with hands to hold a gun, rather than built in weaponry.
26. Large men are slow but strong; women are fast but weak.
27. When আপনি look down, আপনি can’t see your feet.
28. Explosives don’t work on doors unless they’re a bit shinier than the other doors.
29. If working on high scaffolding, beware of gorillas throwing barrels off the শীর্ষ floor.
30. No girls.
31. Always be sure to smash any crates আপনি come across, they will always contain good things.
32. Despite the fact that modern weapons systems are effective over hundreds of miles, in the future all space/air/sea combat will be conducted within about 50 yards of the enemy.
33. Contrary to the strict regulations আপনি might think pilots have to adhere to, আপনি can actually fly any aircraft upside down beneath the Golden Gate Bridge without getting in trouble.
34. War is the best fun ever.
35. It doesn’t matter where আপনি shoot someone, even if it’s in the foot, as long as আপনি do it enough times there will eventually be an immediate transition between alive and dead.
36. There is no practical difference between walking into a weapon and picking it up.
37. In medieval times, women regularly fought in wars, wearing armor that afforded them equal protection to স্যুইটস্ of plate mail worn দ্বারা men, despite only covering about 3 inches of skin.
38. Most martial arts will teach আপনি how to throw fireballs at about green বেল্ট level.
39. Roman and medieval generals had a zoomable and rotatable 3D view of the battlefield, and controlled their soldiers দ্বারা clicking giant arrows.
40. Everyone speaks English, including Nazis, aliens and the living dead.
41. When your life ends আপনি will be প্রদত্ত 10 সেকেন্ড to decide whether আপনি fancy going again (in some circumstances this may cost আপনি some change).
42. As long as আপনি are wearing at least one ring আপনি will never die.
43. Pulling out a weapon makes আপনি see a + sign wherever আপনি look.
44. Running from side to side অথবা backwards is just as easy and quick as running forwards.
45. Never trust a giant monkey wearing a tie.
46. Graveyard zombies are predatory homosexuals, who’ll strip আপনি down to your Y-fronts.
47. Bus-loads of people will turn up to a mostly empty field to see a man in a hippo costume stand পরবর্তি to a mail box.
48. Fat people are always evil. If not from the beginning, they will betray আপনি eventually.
49. আপনি can only use a pair of skis once and the only ভান্দার selling them at resorts is invariably on the other side of a busy motorway with no visible means of a pedestrian thoroughfare.
50. Not only is it perfectly normal for জন্তু জানোয়ার to talk, but their default attitude is “sassy”.
51. Modern tank warfare will be replaced in the future দ্বারা building a very large number of tanks on the battlefield itself, then attacking the enemy’s strongest point head-on with hundreds of them at once.
52. আপনি know when আপনি have won a fight when your opponent stands still, waiting for আপনি to decapitate him.
53. Prostitutes will judge আপনি on the fanciness of your car and give আপনি 25% bonus health post-sex. This is only in the pre-AIDS ’80s. In 2008, আপনি will be tsk-ed at দ্বারা an Eastern European, which makes আপনি feel sick and guilty, even though you’ve been stabbing people all day.
54. Karate and driving can both be learned in মিনিট simply দ্বারা repeating sequential dance routines as requested দ্বারা cartoon animals.
55. Wearing a pair of white gloves to work every দিন may seem an unwise choice if your chosen career is plumbing, but, in reality, আপনি will never have to dirty your pristine mitts দ্বারা fishing a swollen, fetid tampon from a shit-clogged outflow pipe.
56. The bodies of your murdered victims will fade and disappear if আপনি wait for a few seconds.
57. Explosives are not stored, as আপনি might expect, in secure containers in controlled environments, but in barrels that are littered around combat zones at random. Highly-trained evil soldiers are quite happy to engage in sustained fire-fights while standing পরবর্তি to them.
58. Doing athletics really hurts your wrist after a while.
59. আপনি can’t ever trip, even when running backwards as fast as আপনি can while firing a shotgun.
60. World War II infantry jargon included such phrases as “lol”, “n00b” and “OMG HaXXoR!!11!” Modern counter-terrorist SWAT teams use the same phrases.
61. People wink out of existence when you’re not there to see them.
62. On the whole, আপনি can withstand a lot আরো bullets/punches/magic compared to the other guy.
63. Always shut the door behind you, especially if it looks like it might snow later on.
64. আপনি don’t need scintillating conversation get on in life. Two-word commands will do fine.
65. Many, if not all, problems can be solved with a Holy Hand Grenade.
66. Being on the goodies’ side doesn’t automatically make আপনি winners of The War.
67. আপনি can up your bank balance $1,000 at a time দ্বারা chanting ‘FUND’.
68. Kick enough কুকুরছানা and you’ll eventually gain the strength, wisdom and dexterity to take on ninjas.
69. খাবার can heal most serious injuries instantly.
70. Even cyborgs/ninjas/special agents able to smash whole cities with their fists and defeat the mightiest opponent in close combat are stumped when confronted with a locked door অথবা box, and have to go find the key.
71. সঙ্গীত spontaneously plays whenever আপনি do anything exciting.
72. Modern military training teaches that the best way to defeat an enemy is to stand stock still in plain view of the enemy and আগুন wildly. Making sinister noises to reveal your location is good, too.
73. If আপনি notice a discolored section on a brick wall, try running up really close and pressing on it, for it may give way and lead আপনি to a secret cache of weapons and armor.
74. Bullet holes will gradually disappear, foiling your attempts to draw a c--k and balls on the ground with a machine gun.
75. When you’ve run out of খাবার and stuff, just leave the house and then go back in again.
76. When আপনি kill people, sometimes they turn into খাবার অথবা money. অথবা some bullets.
77. আপনি can travel anywhere instantly, as long as you’ve been there before.
78. When crawling along air-conditioning ducts, if আপনি go অগ্রবর্তী and back a few times আপনি may অথবা may not see a pair of tits.
79. First aid kits can be applied to your injuries in under a second, and will instantly fix your injuries and make আপনি healthier.
80. Flashlights only last for one minute, but thankfully recharge themselves over time.
81. If you’re in a দুর্গ looking for a হারিয়ে গেছে loved one, they’re in another one.
82. If you’re good enough at trading/bartering – every single ভান্দার in the world will reduce their prices specially for you.
83. আপনি can lead a fulfilling and adventurous life, and keep several friends, without ever opening your mouth.
84. আপনি can shoot open a padlock, but locks on wooden doors only ever leave a dent.
85. It is possible to carry an infinite amount of items, including a full sunday roast spread, for no adequately explored reason, without impeding either your speed অথবা clothing.
86. “Sho-ryu-ken!” is the best opening line to start a punch-up in a pub.
87. Conversation is easy! Just think of two অথবা three possible responses, and pick the one আপনি think will lead to the greatest reward.
88. Firing a rocket launcher straight into the floor is an excellent idea, and will get আপনি cool stuff, provided আপনি jump into the air as আপনি do it.
89. Women who are experienced mercenaries and can carry multiple heavy weapons do not look like Bulgarian discus throwers, but are lithe, slim, and have very large breasts.
90. The world is packed with unexplored ruins, most of which are packed to the rafters with treasure. Despite this, no one has yet bothered to explore them.
91. The owners of theme parks/zoos/hospitals are able to pick up visitors to their attractions with a giant grapple, and drown them in lakes without penalty.
92. Being shot in the face is only a minor inconvenience, but going into an area আপনি are not supposed to will result in instant death.
93. Nazis/Alien Invaders/Evil Megacorps are always leaving medical supplies around for their opponents to heal themselves with. Their own soldiers are under strict instruction not to touch them. Ever.
94. The জনপ্রিয় third dimension was introduced in the ’80s, before which you’d simply shrink and সরানো আরো slowly to convey distance.
95. আপনি can probably fit another rocket launcher in your rucksack if আপনি carefully rearrange those four ammo clips and that কোকাকোলা can.
96. If someone আপনি don’t like is in a swimming pool, simply remove the steps to get out. Then they will be stuck and drown through exhaustion.
97. Frogs die in water.
98. আপনি can gaze at a woman’s tits for hours on end without either of আপনি becoming embarrassed. However, attempts to mount her from every side like a determined St. Bernard will always result in আপনি bouncing off her textured hide.
99. If আপনি win a really big fight, don’t relax until you’ve made sure there isn’t a much আরো powerful robot version of your late opponent lurking in a corner.
100. “Ninja” is the most common occupation on the planet, just above “Secret Agent” and “Alien in Disguise”.
101. Comprehensive military training can be acquired simply দ্বারা climbing a rope, crouching and firing down a range a few times.
BOOBLESS (55378008)
HIGH (4614)
HOBO (0804)
LESBO (09537)
hello (01134)
shell (77345)
Hi (14)
BOOB (8008)
হাঃ হাঃ হাঃ (101)
so (05)
_______________________________
Well i'm geting tired of that :P
Hahahaha
আপনি won't ever know them অথবা will আপনি >.>
Plz comment
অথবা i will eat you
i will
i promise
O_O i left my sandmich in the oven
OH NO!!!!!
I BLAM আপনি HANNAH MONTANAH!
AND আপনি TO JB!
ALONG WITH BARNEY!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
IT BURNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT MADE A আগুন WERES THE আগুন THINGY!
HIGH (4614)
HOBO (0804)
LESBO (09537)
hello (01134)
shell (77345)
Hi (14)
BOOB (8008)
হাঃ হাঃ হাঃ (101)
so (05)
_______________________________
Well i'm geting tired of that :P
Hahahaha
আপনি won't ever know them অথবা will আপনি >.>
Plz comment
অথবা i will eat you
i will
i promise
O_O i left my sandmich in the oven
OH NO!!!!!
I BLAM আপনি HANNAH MONTANAH!
AND আপনি TO JB!
ALONG WITH BARNEY!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
IT BURNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT MADE A আগুন WERES THE আগুন THINGY!
