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1.
Two guys are taking the subway. One of them had a bunch of bananas and a jar of musterd. He peeled a banana, dipped it in the mustard and threw it out of the window. The other guy looked at him weird, but decided not to say anything. After a মিনিট অথবা two, he did the same thing. Peeled the banana, put it in the mustard, and threw it out of the subway train!
"Why on Earth are আপনি doing that." the guy said.
"Hell, do you like bananas with mustard?"

2.
Two guys, Buck and Jamie, were sitting with Mindy, Jamie's girlfriend, in a bar chatting. Buck was amorously glancing towards Mindy, but carefully of course, as Jamie is very jealous. When Jamie got to the bathroom real quick, Mindy whispered Buck hastily:
"Grab your chance! Now!!"
Buck looked around nervously, and drank Jamie's বিয়ার up in 1 draft, and ran away.


3.
Why do Japanese students always have such a high IQ? Ever seen a blonde Japanese kid?

4.
I used to hate weddingparties when I was younger. Everyone gave me a poke in my side, saying:
"Hey, when will it be your turn?"
They all stopped when I began doing the same thing... on funerals.

5.
"Tell me, Rose. You're married to an archaeologist, right? Isn't that boring?"
"Not at all! The older I get, the আরো interesting I get to him!"

6.
So once upon a time there was a doctor who had sex with his patient. He has so many regret for it that his concious started to play games with him. To calm himself down, he continuously told himself:
"It's not that bad. You're not the first doctor who's been in বিছানা with his patient, and you're certainly not going to be the last."
But then his other half pulled him inside the real world again, saying:
"But buddy... you're an animal doctor...

7.
So this blonde girl walked into a store.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl left, and returned to the store a while after, only with dark hair.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl left, and returned to the store a while after, only with purple hair.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl asked:
"I don't get it, I'm not even blonde anymore, why wouldn't আপনি sell me that tv, mister?"
"Because this is a microwave!"

8.
Why did Napoleon wear a red vest? Because he was a hero whose environment wouldn't notice a thing if he was injured.

So now we know why Hitler wore brown pants.

9.
It's a warm, sunny say on the funeral. An old man was standing পরবর্তি to an open grave, as a boy walked দ্বারা and said:
"Feels great, huh gramps, taking a breath of fresh air?"

10.
Yesterday I've witnessed the greatest thing. I got প্রথমপাতা from an evening at the pub (not too late this time). I came inside and my wive received me, dressed in sexy অন্তর্বাস and holding only two velvet cords. She told me:
"Tie me up, and afterwards আপনি may do anything আপনি want..."

So I tied her up and went to get me another beer!
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posted by VoicesInMyHead
Disclaimer. I don't own anything but the question. May be SLIGHTLY offensive, I think, not sure, but VERY funny. Enjoy and PLEASE comment!!!


Q: name two benefits of having a general ledger.

A: 1. Well, a zombie soldier is pretty cool, but a CELEBRITY zombie soldier is AWESOME!!!!! no one can win aqainst a ZOMBIE!!!!!!! Plus who would want to hurt Heath, he's too freakin awesome!!!!!! So, any battle you're in, আপনি can't lose!!!!!!!









2. আপনি just KNOW his fangirls are gonna যোগদান your army! The sheer NUMBERS are gonna give আপনি an advantage!!!!!!! আপনি can't lose!!!!!!! You'd be INVINCIBLE!!!!!!!! WORLD DOMINATION IF আপনি WANT!!!!!!!!!



And those are two benefits of having a General Ledger!!!!!






Teacher's note: Genral ledger is a BUISSINESS term, NOT an idea to take over the world with an army of fangirls and celebrity zombies!
posted by LUV_4_BIEBER
I find your smile অবিশ্বাস্য
Passion unsustainable
My হৃদয় beats faster and faster whenever your
near,
Only to come to a cold stop when she passes by
My tears will go on forever
My smile isn’t real
And my হৃদয় is বিভক্ত করা in two
Every thought I ever had about আপনি are buzzing in my head
I pray one দিন i'll be under your arm
Holding your hand
স্নেহ চুম্বন your lips
I hope one দিন আপনি dry my tears
See right through my fake smile
And repair my broken heart
posted by selenagomezfan7
Hi I'm Chelsea I Was Born December 3 1996 in Dallas Texas I'm 14 Years Old!! Now I'm Living In Brazil!! ...... I'm Kinda Tall I Way 107 Pounds ......I'm White With Blond Hair Hazel Eyes ..... My পছন্দ Tv Shows Are Wizards Of Waverly Place Drake&Josh Of Course My পছন্দ Singers Are Justin Bieber Selena Gomez পাতিহাঁস Bell!☆ ..... My পছন্দ Songs Are Selena Gomez Round & Round Justin Bieber Baby পাতিহাঁস ঘণ্টা Our প্রণয় My নীতিবাণী I প্রণয় Being Alive :☆ ....,More Just Message Me In My ইনবক্স Thanks Ooh Please Comment
posted by CUTEDXC
tips to get boys :)

1.NEVER right a poem about them at your birthday party in front of every one

2.dont cheat on them u will be sorry

3.be honest

4.right down the দিন u met dated and be came a thing to let him now u care

5.never act crazy (that mean no 50 cups of coffe)

6.spend time with him

আপনি can trust me on this :)

7.he brakes up with u well i tryed mabey u dint follow my tips :3 cant help u there >:3

good luck আপনি SAW NOTHING







NOTHING I TELL U >:3 NOTHING i have had lots of boyfriends my life i dumped them cuz there asses so i am taking my brake
hello fanpopers i'm writting this প্রবন্ধ to talk about one of the best things i like about fanpop. I প্রণয় all the amazing people here the ones who are so kind and caring i couldn't believe in my status i wrote i was kinda down and within two মিনিট over 5 people asked me if i was okay and helped me feel better. This is not the first time it happened either.
I প্রণয় being on a site where আপনি can have a group of বন্ধু that আপনি live far away from and have never actually meet and yet trust them and feel like they are your true friends. and have the feeling that they actually care for আপনি its...
continue reading...
posted by TOTALIzzyluver
Sooo i continued my Druckies skik soooo here it is. Enjoy. and thx for the awesome coments on the last 1
_________________________________________________

Z:Hi Awesome!!

Awesome: নমস্কার watz up??

Z: Pie

Awesome: what about pie??

Z: I LIKE IT!!

Awesome: doesn't everybody??

Z: Your soo giggly

Awesome: What?

Z: OMG! theres a paper frilly under ur butt! (pokes at frilly)

Awesome: Theres a frilley under ur butt so u poke it??

Z: um? False? is this a trick question??

Awesome: Your a trick question

Z: and it took u that long 2 figure it out??

Awesome: ......

Z: Lets play uno

Awesome: sorry i dont speak spanish

Z: Pity...
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mysterious প্রণয়

-chapter four-

He ব্যক্ত "Hello June" in a com voice...my হৃদয় melted দ্বারা the sound of his soft voice,I wanted him too talk too me all day,but I new we had too get too class soon and I would have too wait two hours too see him again.So then I ব্যক্ত "Hi mathew" I could here the classic পিয়ানো playing a soft প্রণয় song in my head.He handed me my jacket,and said"you forgot it yesterday"
I ব্যক্ত "Oh thanks for returning it"and smiled a little bit he moved from my locker so I could put my bag up.Then he ব্যক্ত "What class are আপনি headed too?"
"Reading" I ব্যক্ত
He put his hands in his pockets...
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