The দিন আপনি Slipped Away
I will start off my story দ্বারা telling আপনি this: Karma is very real. In fact, that is me. I am Karma, though I prefer the name “Exodus.” Karma sounds a bit too feminine for such a strong and mighty force like myself. I, Exodus, have come to write a story for you. If আপনি are expecting a cute and fun filled story get out while আপনি still can. Close this book and get on with your life. Forget about me, even though আপনি will surely encounter me in the rest of your lifetime. আপনি just won’t know when I am approaching আপনি from behind অথবা staring আপনি down from the front. It won’t matter anyway. When I encounter them, most people just pass off my acts as mere coincidences. I feel so unloved when they do that…
It’s alright, continue being the skeptics that আপনি are. It doesn’t really matter to me anymore… And it sure doesn’t matter to her anymore. Not now… Not after everything is ব্যক্ত and done. I shall not start my story right away, if আপনি could not tell already. I’ll let the suspense boil and cook in your mind while I dilly-dally with my own useless, idiotic, meaningless stories. Then, once I have finished with those, I shall সরানো on to my most sickening and horrific story. One that involves a young British mother in the early 1800s and her little boy, who had enough cockney in his accent to make Oliver Twist sound normal. Those poor Unfortunate Souls… Oh well, it cannot be helped. Oh Exodus, why do আপনি do this to yourself…? অভিনয় like আপনি don’t care when আপনি most certainly do… I apologize for being so unlikable and emotionless.
I find it funny, though… I have been around since before humans were even a thought, yet as time went on, I picked up their emotions and feelings. I used to be quite emotionless as well as absolutely nameless, and although that side does প্রদর্শনী itself from time to time, it is rare that it does due to my new emotions. I honestly don’t know which is better to be; Emotionless অথবা not. On one hand, not being able to feel anything helps with my job. It is best to not feel when আপনি are giving some Unfortunate Soul payback in a bad way. On the other hand, it is quite fun to celebrate with the Lucky Ones when they get payback in a good way. Without emotions অথবা feelings, I would not be able to do such great things.
I suppose I actually started to feel human in the time of pharaohs and ancient civilizations. In fact, I am named after that time. আপনি may recall a certain book দ্বারা the name of Exodus, which is the story of Moses and Ramses. Ramses refuses to let Moses’s people, the Hebrews, go. Terrible plaques are then unleashed onto Egypt for Ramses’s misdeeds. That was all me; Karma, Exodus, me. I caused the cattle to die. I made thousands of frogs come up from their depths to terrorize the Egyptians. I unleashed the various insects from their cages so they could be free. And, since Ramses still did not agree to Moses’s wishes, I regretfully slaughtered his son. I am everything yet I am nothing all at once… And that is how it was always meant to be.
There were times in my life, however, that I was not able to get to those who deserved my punishments অথবা rewards. Hitler is a brilliant example. He deserved to be caught and killed, though in the end the decision of death was his and his alone. To be honest, I knew his time would come to him soon দ্বারা itself, so I didn’t do anything against him. Yeah yeah, I know what আপনি are thinking… “Oh Exodus, how could আপনি have ever let someone as terrible as Hitler simply slide দ্বারা without any punishments?” I did not feel the need to, আপনি see. Let me explain something to you: Life and Death are brother and sister. I am their cousin. Death assured me that Hitler would be in his grasps soon. If আপনি cannot trust Death, then who can আপনি trust?
Ironic statement, I know… But Death is actually quite a trustworthy lad! I do prefer him over Life… She gets all the credit and is loved, when Death is actually the better thing. It sickens me. If only they knew my dark but lovely cousin, they would see things from my point of view. Why can’t the world be আরো like me? Well… I suppose it doesn’t really matter anyway. I am আরো curious as to how fed up আপনি are with me at this point. আপনি really want to know my story now, don’t you? Oh of course আপনি do. I can see it in your eyes… Heh. Scared you, didn’t I? Do not worry; I am not standing behind অথবা in front of আপনি at this moment. আপনি will not receive one of my punishments and, sadly, not one of my rewards either.
It is with a heavy হৃদয় that I must admit that she did receive one of my punishments, however. And her little boy too. I guess I must tell আপনি now… It appears that I am getting bored of my own stories, and that is never a good thing. I am only worried that my emotions will tear me apart while I tell this story… But on the other hand… That would be আরো interesting for আপনি wouldn’t it, dearest audience? To see me nearly kill myself over my past mistakes? আপনি sick little puppy, you. Very well then. My job is to entertain আপনি with this story, after all. If I have not done that so far I apologize. I am sorry for my life stories not being good enough for you… I am sorry that I’m not good enough for you.
I know I am not that interesting of a being, so please don’t মতামত on that. I do not need to be reminded of something I already know. So… Here I am, about to relive a time that I never wanted to go back to, yet I feel like I owe them that much. The দিন she slipped away. The time… Well, the time when I was foolish enough that I, Karma could actually feel love. How idiotic of me, right? An unseen force cannot feel nature. Well they can, but it is an impossible love.
It all started with a poor, single mother and her eight বছর old little boy. She had such lovely dark brunette hair and mint green eyes, where her little boy was that of an Aryan, with bright blonde hair and deep blue eyes. The no good, son of a দুশ্চরিত্রা father had left them for a complete and utter whore.
One thing I have regrettably failed to mention is that I see everything আপনি pathetic humans do and say. I see আপনি lie and cheat. Steal and slaughter. আপনি all put on a great show, I must say. I do not come into their story for quite a while, but I am sure that is fine with you. আপনি don’t like me anyway.
The mother, who possessed the beautiful name of Euphoria, worked long hours as a seamstress in order to earn money for her and her son. Her patterns and designs were beautiful, though it was not a well paying job. Apparently no one in England required the need of any sort of sewn goods.
Her little one, Thomas, was such a dear as well as intelligent, even though he did not go to school once in his life. He helped his mother sew her various items just like a good lad should, and he enjoyed it too. As long as he was with his mother, he was happy. I was quite fond of little Thomas myself. Such life he possessed... it made me smile like I had never smiled before.
Euphoria had been at work all দিন along with Thomas, taking breaks to only eat what little খাবার they had. It was usually a small ration of vegetable সুপ and biscuits, though they would occasionally বিভক্ত করা a small cake of some sort for dessert. Nothing to make the mouth water, but that does not matter when আপনি are nearly starving to death.
I have often wondered why আপনি humans like খাবার so much. Yes, it keeps আপনি alive, but আপনি all seem to treat it like it is sent straight from the heavens. It cannot be that good… Oh, I’m sorry. I got thinking about the strange rituals of humans again. We’ll get back to the story now.
They had just finished ডিনার when Euphoria let out a long sigh. She was doing calculations in her head to the best of her ability (She had only gone to school for two years her whole life) and realized they did not have enough money for tomorrow’s dinner. Thomas was in his small bedroom, leaving Euphoria in a state of relief that he could not see the worry on her gorgeous face. I honestly don’t know why he had that bedroom… He always slept with his mother anyway.
I believe around this time I was busy butchering a young Japanese girl for doing the same to her father. Her name was Suzuka অথবা something like that, but I suppose that names do not matter. When I give punishments to those Unfortunate Souls I try not to think of names. Give something a name and আপনি get attached to it. I’m sure আপনি can see why that is not a good idea. However, if আপনি are a Lucky One I will gladly learn your name to celebrate your great fortune with you. Although, looking back on it now, I realize that if I had not thought of and memorized Euphoria and Thomas’ names, it would have been a lot easier to give them their punishment. It sounds funny to say that their own names caused their fates.
“Mother,” Thomas had asked once he came back out into the living room, “Why are আপনি still sewing at this hour?” Oh, that lovely Cockney accent of his… Euphoria was too tired to answer. Her long and slender fingers were focused on her work along with her tired and cloudy eyes. She had entered a stage of “Auto pilotness,” her mind blank as she slept with her eyes open and worked at the same time. It was five o’clock in the morning. She hadn’t stopped working the whole night.
A few days later and Euphoria had only made one sale. She was growing desperate and she needed money fast. The only thing that she could be proud of was that, despite the odds that seemed to be against them, Thomas was in good shape.
That boy had miraculous health; was never ill a দিন in his life! It was something they could both boast about. But… It was not to last forever. Euphoria could not even weep when the little one got sick. And before আপনি go and make assumptions, let me just say… Yes, it was me. At the time I didn’t think much of it. That was the time that I didn’t know them that well. Though in the upcoming months, I would begin to feel sorry for them. I think the worst part was knowing that Euphoria blamed herself for Thomas’ plummet in health. I mean… Yes, it was technically her fault but still… Exodus stop! আপনি terrible being… Do not blame anything on your dearly beloved. It was not her fault. It was the world’s. আপনি caused them such pain, such suffering… Pathetic bastard. I must tell আপনি that I do regret living. I remember the first thing I thought back then was “No… Please take me too.” But, of course, it cannot be that easy. I found out the hard way that an unseen force cannot simply die the death of a human. They have to have a replacement. Any takers?
Oh… I apologize. I did not mean to go off like that. I would never force my job upon you, but it just angers me how I felt nothing for them. Even now… Two hundred years later and my হৃদয় is still broken, but my problems do not matter… My job is to simply tell the story. Nothing more, nothing less. But it’s hard… আপনি know how it is. When আপনি are talking about something that deeply disturbs আপনি অথবা saddens you. The feelings that swirl around in your soul can really hurt a person and make them go mad. I know I am not a person but লেখা is the same as speaking it. I can feel too, just like you. Perhaps we are alike in আরো ways than one, আপনি and I. Never forget that… Never forget me.
Euphoria wouldn’t eat. She’d give her own ডিনার to her ill son. Occasionally, her friend Sylvia would come দ্বারা and give her her ডিনার from that night. But Euphoria was too nervous to eat. She would let the donated খাবার sit on her countertops and rot. She would not sleep. She sat দ্বারা his bedside all দিন and night, clutching his hand tightly as if her fingertips would cure him. They did not. She would not work. She felt that Thomas was too important to leave on his death বিছানা alone. She was literally killing herself over her dying son. Oh… It really is a chilling feeling to be লেখা this… Remembering her last words to me: “If I do not have my son, then who do I have?”
The father had left her when Thomas wasn’t even a week old. And… দ্বারা the time she had ব্যক্ত those words to me… I had betrayed her as well. If she didn’t have her son, she truly didn’t have anyone. The truth in those words scares me. It makes me shiver, even though my body is warm… It makes me regret even coming into their lives at all. Even though I found প্রণয় and happiness with them… My feelings do not matter. It would have been better that way. If they never met me they would have lived longer than they actually did. It’s just… I know that a lot of people’s misfortune is became of me, but this was the first time that I had actually felt something because of it. I have been a heartless monster up until this point… And for that, I apologize.
I know that I have been apologizing too much. It is the way that I atone for my sins against humanity. Just know that it is what i must do and if আপনি do not like it, well… That is too bad for you. We all have something in our lives that we are fed up with, but we have to deal with them. That is my apologizing for you, isn’t it? Oh well. It does not bother me so I shall continue to do it, regardless of what আপনি feel.
A few days after I had nearly killed little Thomas, I was walking through the same town again. This time to deliver a reward. It was for Sylvia, Euphoria’s childhood friend. Giving away her own ডিনার for the sake of Euphoria deserved a reward, and I am sure that আপনি can agree with that. Suddenly, I was stopped দ্বারা Euphoria. “Excuse me sir, are আপনি interested in buying a tapestry?” I recognized her from somewhere.
I remembered then that she was the girl who had stolen vegetables from the local market. She was so desperate for খাবার that she গাউন it for Thomas. That was what she had done that had caused Thomas to get sick, দ্বারা the way. Only… That was not what concerned me at that specific moment in time. What I was আরো shocked than actually worried about was… She could see me. Everywhere I went, no one was able to see me, even if I was staring them straight in the eyes অথবা even touching them. No matter what, they would not acknowledge my existence. I always loved messing with them because of this. But Euphoria… Well she was different indeed. And in আরো ways than one. “Uh… No thank you, ma’am. Thank আপনি for the offer though.” Just because I am Karma does not mean that I can’t have manners. I always try to be as polite as possible, even when delivering a punishment.
She then grabbed me দ্বারা the non-sleeves of my vest, shaking me ever so slightly. “Please,” She begged with a slight squeak in her voice, “You must want something!”
I shook her off as gently as I could. “No thank you, ma’am.” I began to hurry off but froze once I heard her gentle yet heavy sobbing. She had collapsed on the ground, curled up into a little ball. I sighed and walked back to her, not being able to take how pathetic she looked, and ব্যক্ত in the gentlest voice I could muster, “I’ll take the biggest one আপনি have.” She looked up at me and suddenly my হৃদয় hurt. Not a bad kind of hurt, but a short pang! that made me gasp lightly. প্রণয় was up to her old tricks again. I’d have to talk to her when I got the chance.
“Is something wrong, sir?”
Obviously my facial expressions reflected what I felt. Not love, but horror and fear. I quickly straightened both my face and my posture. “No ma’am. I am fine. Now… About that tapestry…”
“You didn’t change your mind, did you?”
“I’m sorry, miss… But I do not think that I should buy a tapestry from such a pretty lady like আপনি when I have a wife at home. I do not think that it would sit too well with her. Please try to understand.” I was lying of course. I am not married and never plan to be, but at the time I was simply trying to destroy this girl from my mind… Something that I had received from her would only increase my thoughts of Euphoria. I was not supposed to feel love; I was and still am Karma. প্রণয় was screwing up big time.
Her hands slowly went from caressing each other to hanging limply at her sides. I had broken her heart, but it was necessary to protect myself… So why did I feel so bad?
“Oh I understand,” she spoke with unintentional venom towards me, “You don’t care about a dying little boy who needs to get better!” The tears that had been in her eyes the whole time were falling now. “I am just trying to save my son.”
I sighed and finally gave in. “Well… At least let me see the tapestries before I agree to buy one.” She then pulled me into her sorry excuse for a house. I was utterly disgusted দ্বারা how the circumstances of the world had affected its own people, this woman and her son in particular.
“They are hanging in the back room. Feel free to look at them for as long as আপনি like.”
Before I could go and pretend to look at them, the sick little boy walked out. Oh Thomas… How pitiful he looked… And it was all because of me. “Thomas,” Euphoria ran to his side, “You need to be in bed, darling.” “But mommy… I am so cold.” I stared at him for a moment before whispering, “Such lovely Cockney…” They both looked at me and I cleared my throat, snapping out of my daze caused দ্বারা Thomas’ heavenly voice. “Is this your son, ma’am?” Euphoria nodded sadly, saying nothing as Thomas lets out a painful-sounding cough. She hurried him off to his bed, tucking him in nice and snug before returning to me. “Let me see him.” I ব্যক্ত after a long and quiet moment. My mind began to panic… Exodus, আপনি mustn’t do this! You’ll only be infatuated with her more!
My mind did not matter, however. My legs were walking to the bedroom and they couldn’t be stopped now. Euphoria followed me in protest, but my legs were not to be stopped. Not now. I gently closed Thomas’ door, sitting দ্বারা his bedside. “Hello little… Thomas, was it? How are আপনি feeling?” “Cold…” Was all he managed to say. “My name is Exodus,” I whispered, “And I am going to make আপনি feel better… Alright?” He rolled onto his side and looked at me with those big, pain-filled blue eyes of his. They seemed hopeful yet doubtful at the same time. He watched me for a while before clutching my hand weakly. “Please… Make my mother better first. She is killing herself over me. I can’t ভালুক it anymore…” He started to tear up but quickly wiped his eyes.
“If আপনি get better, there will be no reason for her to worry anymore.”
I gently took his almost completely limp body and embraced him. I was surprised when he hugged me back, crying into my shoulder. It was then that my হৃদয় felt that pang! again. I had done this. Not just to them, but to countless other families as well. I felt sick and disgusted with myself… I almost wanted to cry right along with the little, dying thing. I slowly closed my eyes, partly to stop the tears in my eyes and partly to start the healing process, and placed my hand on the back of his head. He knew he was going to die. Yet his mother was still his শীর্ষ priority. He had such a হৃদয় of gold… I adored it. With it being such a rarity these days, a হৃদয় like his had to be saved.
I waited for his breathing to steady before I unleashed my power onto him… But his breathing didn’t steady. It stopped. Eyes widening and limbs shaking, I laid him on his bed. I looked up slowly and there he was: My dark but lovely cousin, Death. “I… I didn’t see আপনি come in.”
“Obviously not.” Her circled little Thomas and I. “You were going to save him.”
“You could’ve warned me before turning him cold in my arms.” To be honest, I was embarrassed. I am not sure why, but I was. I am sure that আপনি have a feeling in your life that আপনি cannot explain why exactly it is that আপনি feel it. Whether it be love, hatred, sadness, অথবা all of the above… I can guarantee আপনি that আপনি are feeling one of those feelings in your life right now.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? If I refused to destroy the little boy that আপনি have become infatuated with? Exodus… প্রণয় is a very dangerous thing, especially for us…” I stood up then, “You snake! I am not-” “Watch your tongue, Exodus! আপনি should never call Death a snake!”
“That is what separates me from the humans, isn’t it? That I would dare call Death such a thing but they wouldn’t in a million years!” I pushed him away from me, my gaze going back to Thomas again. Pang! I put my hand on my chest and looked at Death. “I… I apologize, cousin. I was not thinking.”
“Damn right আপনি weren’t!” I had never seen my cousin so angry. I took a step back and he quickly calmed down. I can always look like a হারিয়ে গেছে and scared কুকুরছানা when I want to. “Exodus… I came to remind আপনি of the Forces Meeting. This little lad was distracting you… I could not have that. So I killed him. If he was distracting আপনি now what was stopping him from doing so in the future?”
“But he had such a lovely voice…” I stop myself. It is best not to argue with Death, no matter the situation. I sighed and straightened my vest while brushing it off; It had been wrinkled and gotten a tad bit dirty during our brief argument.
“What? Did আপনি say something?” My cousin had not been listening. He was too pre-occupied with fixing his own suit to listen to my words. “Nevermind, cousin. It was nothing of significant importance.” “Nothing that comes out of your mouth ever is,” he jokes and slaps me on the back, “Now let us go to the meeting together and get out of this wretched place, alright?” I nod, somewhat disturbed দ্বারা Death. I know, who isn’t, right? Well, I had never really been until now. I guess when আপনি are around someone your whole life আপনি do not notice their flaws, no matter what anybody else says.
Although, something else did bother me as well… Why was I the only one who seemed to care for beings that were not Unseen Forces? Was I the only one who wasn’t completely heartless? Of course I am, I thought, Everyone else is so goddamn selfish that they cannot think about anyone but themselves…
So we went, just like we do every month. The meeting is for us Unseen Forces (Death, Life, Karma, প্রণয় ETC…) and we have one each মাস of the year. We use it to plan the upcoming days. We get a তালিকা of those to affect with our powers, good and bad, and who will do what each week. I usually do all of my work the first and third week, but this week I am to do it the সেকেন্ড and third week along with Love, the sweetest out of all of us. To be honest, she isn’t bad to look at either. I will admit that Lust has infected my mind with thoughts of her from time to time.
Today was one of those days… Lust is such a pain. Usually everyone fantasizes over my other cousin, Life because she is শীর্ষ princess around here and even I will admit that she is very beautiful, but I feel like প্রণয় just needs some… Well, প্রণয় from time to time, আপনি know? Not everything is about is about Life and I wish that the others would just get that through their thick skulls already.
After the আরো serious part of the meeting is done, we usually hang around and talk to one another, catching up to those who we didn’t get to talk to when we were busy doing our work. Hardly anyone ever talks to me. It’s always Life and Death that get all the attention, while us smaller forces sit around waiting for someone to notice us… To see that we actually exist just like they do.
Today, I sit on one side of the room while প্রণয় sits on the other. We stare at each other for quite a while then she smiles, forcing me to look away. The lustful thoughts of her were returning to my mind, and I just wanted them to stop. I had too much to think about to have those thoughts flow into my mind like they owned the place. Thomas was all I wanted to think about. I had decided not to let him stay dead forever. I would have to গেলা my pride and ask Life to bring him back. Of course she would ask why, but if I told her how good of a person she is she’d do anything for me (Even though I wouldn’t mean it at all.) She just wants the satisfaction of me saying it. I can only pray that she doesn’t bring Death into this.
I stood and began walking to my other cousin, but প্রণয় grabbed my hand in order to stop me. “I must speak to you, Exodus.” God… Her skin was so soft… And her voice… Like an angelic melody. And yet… my হৃদয় did not feel that same pang! that it did when I was around Thomas অথবা Euphoria. I briefly wondered why as প্রণয় dragged me away from the group. “They’ll all get the wrong idea…” I didn’t really want to be alone with her… Lust really wanted me to have her.
“Let them. I must talk to you… About the boy.”
My eyes fixed on her and my fists clenched. “Oh, I need to talk to আপনি about that too.” It’s amazing how quickly I had gotten angry then… Just at the mere mention of his name my anger boiled over.
“That was not my doing, Exodus.”
“Then who was it?”
“Yourself.”
I clenched my teeth and pressed my lips together so I didn’t snap at her right then and there. It wasn’t my fault that he was so cute… And had such a lovely voice… And… And…
“How… How could আপনি even say that?”
“Because I know. আপনি loved that little boy. আপনি were… Infatuated, even. With his mother, too. I know when someone is in love; আপনি cannot hide it from me.”
I turned to storm off out of anger but my হৃদয় went off again… And this time it hurt. I groaned and clutched at my chest, falling back and প্রণয় catching me just in time. “You are in grieving… And আপনি just don’t know how to handle অথবা deal with it.” I let myself melt in her arms, clinging onto her like she was Thomas. “It’s alright, Exodus. It’ll be okay.” She looked at me. “I know how আপনি feel… I was once in love, just like you.”
“With who?”
“Names are not important… But he was not one of us, he was human. প্রণয় is… Difficult for us, especially when it is a human আপনি are loving. It cannot work… But maybe, just maybe, আপনি could prove me wrong. But you’ll have to choose just one!”
“What do আপনি mean?”
“I spoke to Life. She agreed to bring the little boy back. She loves doing things to make her brother mad, especially undoing all of his hard work. It’s just the way that she is. Death will not find out, I will see to that.”
“But… Why, Love?”
“Because I know what প্রণয় is like for us,” She gently stroked my cheek with her thumb, “It is hard, but I think that আপনি can pull through it even though it causes us such pain. Do not prove me wrong. Go and fight for that young woman and little boy.”
I blink as she walks away, slowly smiling. I realize then that I am not the only one who cares for humans and is struggling to control my emotions… If only I had known sooner.
A week later, I find myself walking down the same রাস্তা as before, only Euphoria is not outside asking if I would like to buy a tapestry. I gently knock on her front wooden door, but it takes her a few মিনিট to answer. Understandable, I suppose. I am quite sure that দ্বারা then she had found Thomas’ cold and lifeless body, Only to have it become warm and live again a দিন later. When she opened the door, she was as white as a sheet and seemed surprised to see me again. “C-Come in…”
I stepped into that house for the সেকেন্ড time in a week and there was Thomas… Sitting on the পালঙ্ক and drinking some cheap Earl Grey tea. Euphoria still remained at the door, stunned with it held wide open. The little one instantly put his চা down and ran to me, giving me the most gigantic hug of my life. I am only 5’11 while my dark cousin is 6’4, so I am considered short in our group. Still, I was much taller than eight বছর old Thomas, who had to মোড়ানো his arms around my waist in order to hug me. I pat his head gently, when what I really wanted to do was embrace him like his mother never did and as tightly as I could, but I was not able to. প্রণয় had told me to choose just one… And, well… I had. I sat down on a small chair in the corner of the living room, Thomas plopping down onto my lap. I laughed softly and looked at his golden locks, “Feeling better, I assume?”
“Much better.” He smiled like a little eight বছর old boy should.
I grinned back and looked at Euphoria, who had finally closed the door and was walking towards us. “You’re welcome.”
She looked petrified still, but discreetly waved me over into her bedroom. “Exodus… আপনি came back.” I was half surprised that she remembered my name and half surprised that she actually cared. “Well, yes I did… I had to see how Thomas was doing.” I reminded myself not to call him “little” Thomas in order to let go of the infatuation I had had with the boy. “He died…” She didn’t look at me when she ব্যক্ত it. “And then a দিন later… He was just… Alive again.” “May I sit on the bed, ma’am?” “Are আপনি not listening to me? He was dead, then alive! How could he-” “I asked if I could sit on the bed, ma’am?”
My voice was stern, as was my stare. She motioned me to the বিছানা quickly so she wouldn’t have to look at my eyes any longer. My eyes are a kind of electric blue and it matches my dull brunette hair… I am better looking than Death, if I do say so myself. I sat on the firm and hard bed, sighing slightly while my eyes never leave hers. “You come and sit down with me now too.” She did so, looking like she might burst into tears at any moment. Because of this, I softened my tone. “All that matters is that he is better now, right?”
“I… I suppose so, but-”
I lean in so I am only inches away from her face, bringing her chin up so she would look up at me. “I tend to not প্রশ্ন such glorious things…”
“I can’t just simply accept this, Exodus. It needs to be explained and it needs to be explained now. I am glad that he is…” She grimaces ever so slightly, only enough that I would notice it while others wouldn’t, “...Alive again, but it’s so unbelievable.”
“Euphoria… When God sends আপনি a blessing, আপনি do not ask why it was sent.”
She sighed tiredly, laying her head on my shoulder. I try not to notice how much warmer I feel now. Not knowing how to react, I just lay back and she falls onto me, which is not what I had planned, but it feels even better than having her head on my shoulder did. “Exodus…? Are আপনি an অ্যাঞ্জেল sent down from the heavens?” I প্রণয় how humans always assume the exact opposite of what আপনি actually are. I am no angel, and you, dearest reader, know this better than anyone else. I have প্রদত্ত আপনি so much information about myself… And I know nothing about you. Perhaps I have প্রদত্ত আপনি too much information about myself, because আপনি know আরো about me than my actual cousins do. It makes me regret ever লেখা this story… But I cannot back down now. I cannot betray them again.
“No darling,” I say gently, “In reality, I am your worst nightmare.”
“Hmm?”
“Nothing… Go to sleep, love.”
She was dead to the world in less than a minute.
I did not sleep. My হৃদয় would not allow me to do so. I had wrapped my arm around her, and even though it was asleep দ্বারা now, I didn’t mind. It was nice to hold something so dear close to me when my whole life was full of holding nothing at all. Once, I even snuck a gentle চুম্বন on her forehead. Is this what প্রণয় feels like, dearest reader…? Your হৃদয় hurts, but আপনি প্রণয় it. Every মিনিট of it makes the world seem so beautiful and pure when it is actually an ugly and hideous thing.
I have often wondered if প্রণয় feels different for the Unseen Forces than it does for humans. From what প্রণয় said, it is… But I can’t really bring myself to believe that. প্রণয় is love, no matter the being. I don’t know… প্রণয় knows how her own powers work আরো than anybody else does, so I suppose that she must be right. Even so… Well, আপনি get the point.
Thomas did not come in that night. I do not know why, but it was quite unusual. He always slept with Euphoria. Perhaps I had scared him away… But he seemed to প্রণয় me, so that couldn’t be it. I did not know why then, but I most certainly do now. And that word (Or person) had something to do with it. Love. Turns out that she wasn’t all that she claimed to be… But I’ll let আপনি guess (For now) as to what she really was.
Finally, morning came. Euphoria only snuggled my chest আরো than she already was when she woke up. Thomas still hadn’t come in, but I thought nothing of it at the time. “Good morning, angel.” “I told you-” but I stop. It feels amazing being called “Angel” দ্বারা her, even if I am not one. “...Good morning, gorgeous.”
“Is Thomas awake yet?”
“I don’t know… He never came in last night.”
“Really? Huh… That is strange…”
She got up and left the room, checking on Thomas. I just laid there on her বিছানা for a while. Honestly, I didn’t want the moment to end, it felt so sweet, but she had to make sure her son was alright… He had been অভিনয় pretty odd lately. No matter what, a child is always the most precious thing to a mother… Which is probably why mother is god in the eyes of a child.
I stood slowly and put my vest back on. I took it off to sleep, which I didn’t do, but kept my white button-up শার্ট on. I ran a hand through my messy hair and tiredly went to follow Euphoria. I yawned and saw Thomas asleep on the couch. Euphoria was now in the kitchen, making চা and cookies. I sat পরবর্তি to Thomas and rested my head on my hand, which was propped up on the arm of the couch. My pale skin practically glowed when the morning sunlight that was coming in from the window hit it, causing me to sit on the chair in the corner again. I have always hated the paleness of my complexion, but I cannot change it. Trust me, I have tried. I am just a naturally pale person, I suppose, and it was always meant to be that way.
I don’t know… I guess I am just tired of looking like a vampire all the time. Especially with what they have become in this present দিন and age… But then again… Why does it matter when no one can see you?
Euphoria brought me the চা and বিস্কুট once they were finished. They weren’t bad for a poor family like them. Thomas started to stir, probably from the smell of the cookies. After all… What eight বছর old little boy doesn't like cookies? He leaped on them once he realized what they were and as soon as he was able to do so. I chuckled slightly as I slowly ate my own. He ate about six himself, then went to বিছানা claiming he had a stomach ache. Funny thing, আপনি humans. আপনি all literally eat yourselves to death. There আপনি go with the খাবার again… Always makes me chuckle, though it disgusts Death.
“He was a hungry little boy…” Euphoria smiles as she watches Thomas walk into his own bedroom.
“What do আপনি expect? He is a growing boy and they eat like horses.”
She gazed at me for a moment, seemingly studying my face, but I just kept my eyes on the দেওয়াল in front of me. “Exodus… I…” She stopped suddenly.
I threw her a side glance and embraced her, partly to throw her off and partly to feel that feeling again. The feeling of love.
“...You aren’t wearing a wedding ring.”
I sit confused for a moment, quiet and still, my arms still wrapped around her. Of course I wasn’t wearing a wedding ring, I’m not married… Oh… Wait a minute…
“You aren’t married, are you?”
“...No.”
“Why did আপনি lie to me, Exodus?”
“I… I guess I didn’t want to… Fall in প্রণয় with you.” I decided to be honest as I looked away… What was there to lose now?
“Well… Have you?”
“I… I honestly don’t know anymore.”
She blinks once and pulls away, surprised. Dammit… I had lied to myself again. “How do আপনি not know?”
“I just don’t… I can’t really explain it, love.”
She nods and looks down at her hands, which were folded in her lap. “To be honest… I don’t know how I feel about আপনি either, Exodus.” The way she ব্যক্ত my name… Oh, it sent shivers down my spine.
I nodded. “Alright.” I stood and helped her up. “You and Thomas take care, alright? I must be on my way now.”
“What…? Why?”
“Why not?” I couldn’t tell her the truth… That I was Karma and had work to do. She wouldn’t believe me anyway.
“Fine then, go on. Thomas and I will be fine.” She wouldn’t look at me as she walked away. That hurt the most, I think… Not getting to see those beautiful eyes look at me one last time. It was worse than her actual fate. I walked and slowly went down the street. Our lives were never meant to meet, hers and mine… But soon, hers would end entirely.
Our paths had crossed… And the brief sweetness it brought would now come to an end. I know that আপনি probably already think that I am a monster, but after this.... আপনি most certainly will if আপনি do not already. There is no turning back now. I am prepared to have what আপনি think of me sullied… There is nothing left for me anymore so I might as well have that destroyed for me as well.
I must confess something to you… I have been putting all of this off until now. I do not want to relive any of this, but like I ব্যক্ত before, I do owe them. I am putting myself in great pain for them and you, so আপনি can be entertained… আপনি should feel honored. Even now, as I write this, my hands are shaking and my হৃদয় is about to burst… I might die, if that was actually possible. Well dear reader… Prepare to see me become a complete wreck.
I was hanging around the Unseen Forces, and taking bites of a ruby red apple. I hardly wanted to eat, though my stomach strongly disagreed with me. It rumbled and sang the song of its people, much to my annoyance, forcing me to eat just to shut it up. I, on the other hand, did not want to eat. I wanted Euphoria’s বিস্কুট to be the last thing that I ate for eternity. I do not have to eat in order to survive, unlike you… I could’ve gone without the apple, but my stomach was so loud and embarrassing… I decided against not eating. Besides, I would end up looking like a Jew in a concentration camp if I did not eat… Oh my. I apologize for that joke. It wasn’t funny, it was just plain wrong. It’s this damned story… It brings out the worst in me, and in আরো ways than one.
প্রণয় was there with me along with Hate. Hate doesn’t like me. Always has had a thing for Love, though. I knew he wouldn’t act like he does when he is around me for fear of having প্রণয় think bad of him. প্রণয় looked at me with seductive eyes as I looked down at my once red apple. It had turned brown and somewhat squishy, rotting away in my hands. I blinked, slightly confused, then looked back up at Love. She was telling me to follow her away from Hate, who she knew irritated me. I did not know what she was at the time, which is why I obliged happily. Hate was getting on my nerves anyway, and the way she looked at me… Oh, it was like Lust had taken over my body. I threw the আপেল to the side, it landing on Hate’s shoe. He wiped the disgusting and decaying আপেল away, glaring at me. I did it on purpose.
We sat on a bench away from him, প্রণয় and I, she resting her head on my shoulder. I panicked, my eyes widening, and I pushed her away at once. “Only Euphoria is allowed to do that.”
“Oh Exodus… When will আপনি let her go?”
“If I remember correctly, it was আপনি who wanted me to win her হৃদয় in the first place. And I will never let her go as long as I live.”
She sighed, disappointed, and straddled my lap. “Come on, Exodus… আপনি have me now. আপনি don’t need her anymore. I am way better than she ever could be.”
I try to push her away, but my hands stay on her hips. I find that I cannot সরানো them, no matter how hard I try. “You cannot resist me anymore, Exodus. I see the way আপনি look at me in those meetings… আপনি thought আপনি could get away with glancing at my body, didn’t you? I didn’t know Karma could get that way.” “It’s Exo-” And she kissed me with those soft lips of hers.
I hate myself. I was seduced my প্রণয় and her tricky ways a little too easily. I actually kissed her back. I feel so ashamed… I had never kissed anyone before, but when I got around to it, I did not want my first চুম্বন to go to Love. I wanted it to go to Euphoria.
Once I realized what I was doing, I pushed her away, causing her to land on the ground with a thud. “Exodus… What’s the matter with you?”
Before I could answer, I felt sick and ran off. I ran to my room and grabbed the small garbage can that I always kept দ্বারা my বিছানা and vomited. As my body convulsed, I realized what had been true the whole time: I loved Euphoria, but it was a প্রণয় I had প্রদত্ত to myself. প্রণয় hadn’t gotten to me with her powers. She was right when she ব্যক্ত I had প্রদত্ত প্রণয় to myself.
I never thought it possible… That প্রণয় could be created without the help of an Unseen Force. I think that just makes my life towards Euphoria all the আরো real.
I laid on my bed, staring up at my ceiling. I should mention that, for the record, I did not throw up because স্নেহ চুম্বন প্রণয় was a horrible experience… The চুম্বন itself was lovely… I threw up because I was disgusted with myself. I allowed myself to be seduced দ্বারা someone as evil as Love… I know longer blame my weaknesses around প্রণয় on Lust. I blame it on myself. Ones weaknesses are not caused দ্বারা an Unseen Force… They are caused দ্বারা oneself. It is আপনি who creates them, dearest reader, and it is আপনি who must rebel against them and fight.
I suddenly scowled and sprang up, putting my vest on and angrily stomping out to Love. She was talking to Hate, but I punched him in his throat, feeling a rush of violence bubble up inside of me. I do not know what came over me, but… It was quite terrifying.
I took প্রণয় দ্বারা the wrist and threw her down while Hate was busy coughing and gagging. “You are a witch and an evil sorceress! How could আপনি do such a thing when আপনি know my হৃদয় belongs to her?!” I clutched her neck and held her up দ্বারা it, squeezing as hard as I could. I had almost forgot that no matter what I did, no matter how hard I strangled her, she would not die. She clawed and scratched at my hands, causing me to growl and throw her to the side. “You will regret this day!”
No… No, it was much different than that. It was I who would regret that day. The truth was fast approaching… I am only telling আপনি this so that আপনি will not be caught off guard like I was… And maybe retelling this story will help me comprehend it as well. It is not easy to understand your life experiences when আপনি live them, but when আপনি look back and remember them (Or in my case, write them) I find that it is easier to understand the life that you, yourself lived. It may not make sense to you, but try it. It really is easier that way. That is why biographies and autobiographies are written. Or, at least, that is what I believe. Though I have also found that while লেখা this story I am not only লেখা about my life, but the others lives in this story as well.
The Unseen Forces manor is kind of like a Mount Olympus, if আপনি will. It’s high up and away from humans, though it’d look like a mere মেঘ to the naked human eye. There was a rumor going around that someone had made a pair of glasses to see our “Yun Gong.” That really got us all in a state of panic, even me. We went on a frantic search, but nothing was ever found. Still don’t know if they even existed অথবা not.
I began to wander the halls of Yun Gong in খুঁজুন of nothing in particular. I found my cousin, Life, because apparently when I am looking for her I don’t find her but when I have no desire to see her there she is.
“Exodus.”
I try not to look at her and walk by, but she pulls me aside into the shadows, hugging me.
“Life…! What in the-”
“It’s Love. I saw what আপনি did to her back there. আপনি stood up to her… That hurt her আরো than what আপনি actually did.”
“What the hell are আপনি talking about?”
She then leaned into my ear, whispering, “I know the real reason she wanted to save that little boy.”
Before she could even tell me Love’s secret, I ran. A high pitched sound had gone off in my ear… It was Euphoria’s scream.
I ran like I had never ran before… It’s kind of how the pathetic new generation runs when আপনি throw their Iphone into some gravel অথবা concrete. I ran through Yun Gong and down to earth. I ran through England and then through that small town. Then, I finally ran into the house… Seemed like it took ages to get to it.
I swung open the door and there she was… প্রণয় was embracing Thomas.
“Get off of him!” I charged at her and tried to grab her, but she dodged. Thomas took a step back, but clutched my vest in order to stop me, tearing it. My gaze snapped to him, then to the piece of torn cloth that he held in his little hand. “Daddy, please stop!” My হৃদয় went off again and I fell against the wall. Was he…? Did he…? No, he couldn’t have… I am not his father… Yet I started to remember something. “Don’t hurt mommy!” I looked at Love. She was not Euphoria. I was most certain of it… Unless she put a spell on me.
Euphoria then emerged from her room, “Exodus! Thomas! What’s going on in here?!” It was then that the truth behind the situation hit me.
I turned to Love, not answering Euphoria’s question. I was just as much in the dark as she was. “You’re his mother.” প্রণয় gulped and nodded.
Euphoria snapped her gaze to প্রণয় angrily, “What are আপনি talking about?! I am his mother!”
“No আপনি are not.” প্রণয় didn’t take her eyes off of me.
“Yes I am! I remember his birth and I am the one who raised him!”
“False memories. প্রদত্ত from me to you. আপনি were the one to raise him because I was forbidden to.”
“And just who are আপনি anyways?” She had her hands on her hips.
“I am Love, and Thomas here is my son. Not yours, mine. He never really was yours.”
I thought to myself, Well, he does have her looks… As it turns out, প্রণয় had fallen for a human… He had gotten her pregnant, and that human was…
“You… আপনি witch,” প্রণয় cringed slightly at these words, “How could আপনি ever say such things?!”
“Because they are the truth.” প্রণয় thrusted her hand onto Euphoria’s forehead and she screamed. Falling to the ground with wide eyes, she trembles. She could barely even speak as she looked up at me. “You… You…” So what I feared was true.
প্রণয় took Thomas into her arms and darted for the door. I grabbed the boy as quick as I could and pulled, but he yelped in pain so I let go of him. However, Euphoria did not and continued to grab and pull at her “son’s” arm. “Agh! Euphie, let go!” “I am not Euphie, I am your-” প্রণয় handed Thomas to me, for a reason i did not understand at the time, and grabbed Euphoria’s arm. “Dao ling yige cengmian, ni zou ba!” And, just like that, Euphoria was gone.
I fell to my knees, clutching Thomas. It was not a gory “death,” she just simply vanished. Love’s spell had sent her into another dimension. “Exodus… Please listen to me…” “No, আপনি listen to me,” I stood, setting Thomas down, “You are a witch, just like she said! আপনি better not প্রদর্শনী your face at Yun Gong ever again, অথবা I will slaughter আপনি myself! And forget about ever getting Thomas back… He is mine now!”
“I know that… He has your eyes.”
That was actually one of the first things I had noticed about him. He had eyes that were identical to mine. I gulped and looked back up at her as my tone went soft, despite my best efforts to keep it stern and hard as concrete.
“Love… Is he…?”
She simply nodded. “Yes.”
Thomas raised his hands up to me, wanting to be picked up again, and smiled cutely. I felt sick with myself again. “I shall not return to Yun Gong,” প্রণয় said, interrupting my thoughts, “I’ll give আপনি the satisfaction of knowing that.” “Love… How…?” “If and when আপনি see me again, I shall tell you… But then, and only then.” She kissed me for the umpteenth time and disappeared. I looked down at Little Thomas again and hugged him, crying into his small shoulder. He was mine. I had always had something to hold dear to my heart… I just never bothered to look hard enough.
-End, Part 1- The দিন আপনি Slipped Away: Beginning
(Please give feedback if আপনি have any!)
I will start off my story দ্বারা telling আপনি this: Karma is very real. In fact, that is me. I am Karma, though I prefer the name “Exodus.” Karma sounds a bit too feminine for such a strong and mighty force like myself. I, Exodus, have come to write a story for you. If আপনি are expecting a cute and fun filled story get out while আপনি still can. Close this book and get on with your life. Forget about me, even though আপনি will surely encounter me in the rest of your lifetime. আপনি just won’t know when I am approaching আপনি from behind অথবা staring আপনি down from the front. It won’t matter anyway. When I encounter them, most people just pass off my acts as mere coincidences. I feel so unloved when they do that…
It’s alright, continue being the skeptics that আপনি are. It doesn’t really matter to me anymore… And it sure doesn’t matter to her anymore. Not now… Not after everything is ব্যক্ত and done. I shall not start my story right away, if আপনি could not tell already. I’ll let the suspense boil and cook in your mind while I dilly-dally with my own useless, idiotic, meaningless stories. Then, once I have finished with those, I shall সরানো on to my most sickening and horrific story. One that involves a young British mother in the early 1800s and her little boy, who had enough cockney in his accent to make Oliver Twist sound normal. Those poor Unfortunate Souls… Oh well, it cannot be helped. Oh Exodus, why do আপনি do this to yourself…? অভিনয় like আপনি don’t care when আপনি most certainly do… I apologize for being so unlikable and emotionless.
I find it funny, though… I have been around since before humans were even a thought, yet as time went on, I picked up their emotions and feelings. I used to be quite emotionless as well as absolutely nameless, and although that side does প্রদর্শনী itself from time to time, it is rare that it does due to my new emotions. I honestly don’t know which is better to be; Emotionless অথবা not. On one hand, not being able to feel anything helps with my job. It is best to not feel when আপনি are giving some Unfortunate Soul payback in a bad way. On the other hand, it is quite fun to celebrate with the Lucky Ones when they get payback in a good way. Without emotions অথবা feelings, I would not be able to do such great things.
I suppose I actually started to feel human in the time of pharaohs and ancient civilizations. In fact, I am named after that time. আপনি may recall a certain book দ্বারা the name of Exodus, which is the story of Moses and Ramses. Ramses refuses to let Moses’s people, the Hebrews, go. Terrible plaques are then unleashed onto Egypt for Ramses’s misdeeds. That was all me; Karma, Exodus, me. I caused the cattle to die. I made thousands of frogs come up from their depths to terrorize the Egyptians. I unleashed the various insects from their cages so they could be free. And, since Ramses still did not agree to Moses’s wishes, I regretfully slaughtered his son. I am everything yet I am nothing all at once… And that is how it was always meant to be.
There were times in my life, however, that I was not able to get to those who deserved my punishments অথবা rewards. Hitler is a brilliant example. He deserved to be caught and killed, though in the end the decision of death was his and his alone. To be honest, I knew his time would come to him soon দ্বারা itself, so I didn’t do anything against him. Yeah yeah, I know what আপনি are thinking… “Oh Exodus, how could আপনি have ever let someone as terrible as Hitler simply slide দ্বারা without any punishments?” I did not feel the need to, আপনি see. Let me explain something to you: Life and Death are brother and sister. I am their cousin. Death assured me that Hitler would be in his grasps soon. If আপনি cannot trust Death, then who can আপনি trust?
Ironic statement, I know… But Death is actually quite a trustworthy lad! I do prefer him over Life… She gets all the credit and is loved, when Death is actually the better thing. It sickens me. If only they knew my dark but lovely cousin, they would see things from my point of view. Why can’t the world be আরো like me? Well… I suppose it doesn’t really matter anyway. I am আরো curious as to how fed up আপনি are with me at this point. আপনি really want to know my story now, don’t you? Oh of course আপনি do. I can see it in your eyes… Heh. Scared you, didn’t I? Do not worry; I am not standing behind অথবা in front of আপনি at this moment. আপনি will not receive one of my punishments and, sadly, not one of my rewards either.
It is with a heavy হৃদয় that I must admit that she did receive one of my punishments, however. And her little boy too. I guess I must tell আপনি now… It appears that I am getting bored of my own stories, and that is never a good thing. I am only worried that my emotions will tear me apart while I tell this story… But on the other hand… That would be আরো interesting for আপনি wouldn’t it, dearest audience? To see me nearly kill myself over my past mistakes? আপনি sick little puppy, you. Very well then. My job is to entertain আপনি with this story, after all. If I have not done that so far I apologize. I am sorry for my life stories not being good enough for you… I am sorry that I’m not good enough for you.
I know I am not that interesting of a being, so please don’t মতামত on that. I do not need to be reminded of something I already know. So… Here I am, about to relive a time that I never wanted to go back to, yet I feel like I owe them that much. The দিন she slipped away. The time… Well, the time when I was foolish enough that I, Karma could actually feel love. How idiotic of me, right? An unseen force cannot feel nature. Well they can, but it is an impossible love.
It all started with a poor, single mother and her eight বছর old little boy. She had such lovely dark brunette hair and mint green eyes, where her little boy was that of an Aryan, with bright blonde hair and deep blue eyes. The no good, son of a দুশ্চরিত্রা father had left them for a complete and utter whore.
One thing I have regrettably failed to mention is that I see everything আপনি pathetic humans do and say. I see আপনি lie and cheat. Steal and slaughter. আপনি all put on a great show, I must say. I do not come into their story for quite a while, but I am sure that is fine with you. আপনি don’t like me anyway.
The mother, who possessed the beautiful name of Euphoria, worked long hours as a seamstress in order to earn money for her and her son. Her patterns and designs were beautiful, though it was not a well paying job. Apparently no one in England required the need of any sort of sewn goods.
Her little one, Thomas, was such a dear as well as intelligent, even though he did not go to school once in his life. He helped his mother sew her various items just like a good lad should, and he enjoyed it too. As long as he was with his mother, he was happy. I was quite fond of little Thomas myself. Such life he possessed... it made me smile like I had never smiled before.
Euphoria had been at work all দিন along with Thomas, taking breaks to only eat what little খাবার they had. It was usually a small ration of vegetable সুপ and biscuits, though they would occasionally বিভক্ত করা a small cake of some sort for dessert. Nothing to make the mouth water, but that does not matter when আপনি are nearly starving to death.
I have often wondered why আপনি humans like খাবার so much. Yes, it keeps আপনি alive, but আপনি all seem to treat it like it is sent straight from the heavens. It cannot be that good… Oh, I’m sorry. I got thinking about the strange rituals of humans again. We’ll get back to the story now.
They had just finished ডিনার when Euphoria let out a long sigh. She was doing calculations in her head to the best of her ability (She had only gone to school for two years her whole life) and realized they did not have enough money for tomorrow’s dinner. Thomas was in his small bedroom, leaving Euphoria in a state of relief that he could not see the worry on her gorgeous face. I honestly don’t know why he had that bedroom… He always slept with his mother anyway.
I believe around this time I was busy butchering a young Japanese girl for doing the same to her father. Her name was Suzuka অথবা something like that, but I suppose that names do not matter. When I give punishments to those Unfortunate Souls I try not to think of names. Give something a name and আপনি get attached to it. I’m sure আপনি can see why that is not a good idea. However, if আপনি are a Lucky One I will gladly learn your name to celebrate your great fortune with you. Although, looking back on it now, I realize that if I had not thought of and memorized Euphoria and Thomas’ names, it would have been a lot easier to give them their punishment. It sounds funny to say that their own names caused their fates.
“Mother,” Thomas had asked once he came back out into the living room, “Why are আপনি still sewing at this hour?” Oh, that lovely Cockney accent of his… Euphoria was too tired to answer. Her long and slender fingers were focused on her work along with her tired and cloudy eyes. She had entered a stage of “Auto pilotness,” her mind blank as she slept with her eyes open and worked at the same time. It was five o’clock in the morning. She hadn’t stopped working the whole night.
A few days later and Euphoria had only made one sale. She was growing desperate and she needed money fast. The only thing that she could be proud of was that, despite the odds that seemed to be against them, Thomas was in good shape.
That boy had miraculous health; was never ill a দিন in his life! It was something they could both boast about. But… It was not to last forever. Euphoria could not even weep when the little one got sick. And before আপনি go and make assumptions, let me just say… Yes, it was me. At the time I didn’t think much of it. That was the time that I didn’t know them that well. Though in the upcoming months, I would begin to feel sorry for them. I think the worst part was knowing that Euphoria blamed herself for Thomas’ plummet in health. I mean… Yes, it was technically her fault but still… Exodus stop! আপনি terrible being… Do not blame anything on your dearly beloved. It was not her fault. It was the world’s. আপনি caused them such pain, such suffering… Pathetic bastard. I must tell আপনি that I do regret living. I remember the first thing I thought back then was “No… Please take me too.” But, of course, it cannot be that easy. I found out the hard way that an unseen force cannot simply die the death of a human. They have to have a replacement. Any takers?
Oh… I apologize. I did not mean to go off like that. I would never force my job upon you, but it just angers me how I felt nothing for them. Even now… Two hundred years later and my হৃদয় is still broken, but my problems do not matter… My job is to simply tell the story. Nothing more, nothing less. But it’s hard… আপনি know how it is. When আপনি are talking about something that deeply disturbs আপনি অথবা saddens you. The feelings that swirl around in your soul can really hurt a person and make them go mad. I know I am not a person but লেখা is the same as speaking it. I can feel too, just like you. Perhaps we are alike in আরো ways than one, আপনি and I. Never forget that… Never forget me.
Euphoria wouldn’t eat. She’d give her own ডিনার to her ill son. Occasionally, her friend Sylvia would come দ্বারা and give her her ডিনার from that night. But Euphoria was too nervous to eat. She would let the donated খাবার sit on her countertops and rot. She would not sleep. She sat দ্বারা his bedside all দিন and night, clutching his hand tightly as if her fingertips would cure him. They did not. She would not work. She felt that Thomas was too important to leave on his death বিছানা alone. She was literally killing herself over her dying son. Oh… It really is a chilling feeling to be লেখা this… Remembering her last words to me: “If I do not have my son, then who do I have?”
The father had left her when Thomas wasn’t even a week old. And… দ্বারা the time she had ব্যক্ত those words to me… I had betrayed her as well. If she didn’t have her son, she truly didn’t have anyone. The truth in those words scares me. It makes me shiver, even though my body is warm… It makes me regret even coming into their lives at all. Even though I found প্রণয় and happiness with them… My feelings do not matter. It would have been better that way. If they never met me they would have lived longer than they actually did. It’s just… I know that a lot of people’s misfortune is became of me, but this was the first time that I had actually felt something because of it. I have been a heartless monster up until this point… And for that, I apologize.
I know that I have been apologizing too much. It is the way that I atone for my sins against humanity. Just know that it is what i must do and if আপনি do not like it, well… That is too bad for you. We all have something in our lives that we are fed up with, but we have to deal with them. That is my apologizing for you, isn’t it? Oh well. It does not bother me so I shall continue to do it, regardless of what আপনি feel.
A few days after I had nearly killed little Thomas, I was walking through the same town again. This time to deliver a reward. It was for Sylvia, Euphoria’s childhood friend. Giving away her own ডিনার for the sake of Euphoria deserved a reward, and I am sure that আপনি can agree with that. Suddenly, I was stopped দ্বারা Euphoria. “Excuse me sir, are আপনি interested in buying a tapestry?” I recognized her from somewhere.
I remembered then that she was the girl who had stolen vegetables from the local market. She was so desperate for খাবার that she গাউন it for Thomas. That was what she had done that had caused Thomas to get sick, দ্বারা the way. Only… That was not what concerned me at that specific moment in time. What I was আরো shocked than actually worried about was… She could see me. Everywhere I went, no one was able to see me, even if I was staring them straight in the eyes অথবা even touching them. No matter what, they would not acknowledge my existence. I always loved messing with them because of this. But Euphoria… Well she was different indeed. And in আরো ways than one. “Uh… No thank you, ma’am. Thank আপনি for the offer though.” Just because I am Karma does not mean that I can’t have manners. I always try to be as polite as possible, even when delivering a punishment.
She then grabbed me দ্বারা the non-sleeves of my vest, shaking me ever so slightly. “Please,” She begged with a slight squeak in her voice, “You must want something!”
I shook her off as gently as I could. “No thank you, ma’am.” I began to hurry off but froze once I heard her gentle yet heavy sobbing. She had collapsed on the ground, curled up into a little ball. I sighed and walked back to her, not being able to take how pathetic she looked, and ব্যক্ত in the gentlest voice I could muster, “I’ll take the biggest one আপনি have.” She looked up at me and suddenly my হৃদয় hurt. Not a bad kind of hurt, but a short pang! that made me gasp lightly. প্রণয় was up to her old tricks again. I’d have to talk to her when I got the chance.
“Is something wrong, sir?”
Obviously my facial expressions reflected what I felt. Not love, but horror and fear. I quickly straightened both my face and my posture. “No ma’am. I am fine. Now… About that tapestry…”
“You didn’t change your mind, did you?”
“I’m sorry, miss… But I do not think that I should buy a tapestry from such a pretty lady like আপনি when I have a wife at home. I do not think that it would sit too well with her. Please try to understand.” I was lying of course. I am not married and never plan to be, but at the time I was simply trying to destroy this girl from my mind… Something that I had received from her would only increase my thoughts of Euphoria. I was not supposed to feel love; I was and still am Karma. প্রণয় was screwing up big time.
Her hands slowly went from caressing each other to hanging limply at her sides. I had broken her heart, but it was necessary to protect myself… So why did I feel so bad?
“Oh I understand,” she spoke with unintentional venom towards me, “You don’t care about a dying little boy who needs to get better!” The tears that had been in her eyes the whole time were falling now. “I am just trying to save my son.”
I sighed and finally gave in. “Well… At least let me see the tapestries before I agree to buy one.” She then pulled me into her sorry excuse for a house. I was utterly disgusted দ্বারা how the circumstances of the world had affected its own people, this woman and her son in particular.
“They are hanging in the back room. Feel free to look at them for as long as আপনি like.”
Before I could go and pretend to look at them, the sick little boy walked out. Oh Thomas… How pitiful he looked… And it was all because of me. “Thomas,” Euphoria ran to his side, “You need to be in bed, darling.” “But mommy… I am so cold.” I stared at him for a moment before whispering, “Such lovely Cockney…” They both looked at me and I cleared my throat, snapping out of my daze caused দ্বারা Thomas’ heavenly voice. “Is this your son, ma’am?” Euphoria nodded sadly, saying nothing as Thomas lets out a painful-sounding cough. She hurried him off to his bed, tucking him in nice and snug before returning to me. “Let me see him.” I ব্যক্ত after a long and quiet moment. My mind began to panic… Exodus, আপনি mustn’t do this! You’ll only be infatuated with her more!
My mind did not matter, however. My legs were walking to the bedroom and they couldn’t be stopped now. Euphoria followed me in protest, but my legs were not to be stopped. Not now. I gently closed Thomas’ door, sitting দ্বারা his bedside. “Hello little… Thomas, was it? How are আপনি feeling?” “Cold…” Was all he managed to say. “My name is Exodus,” I whispered, “And I am going to make আপনি feel better… Alright?” He rolled onto his side and looked at me with those big, pain-filled blue eyes of his. They seemed hopeful yet doubtful at the same time. He watched me for a while before clutching my hand weakly. “Please… Make my mother better first. She is killing herself over me. I can’t ভালুক it anymore…” He started to tear up but quickly wiped his eyes.
“If আপনি get better, there will be no reason for her to worry anymore.”
I gently took his almost completely limp body and embraced him. I was surprised when he hugged me back, crying into my shoulder. It was then that my হৃদয় felt that pang! again. I had done this. Not just to them, but to countless other families as well. I felt sick and disgusted with myself… I almost wanted to cry right along with the little, dying thing. I slowly closed my eyes, partly to stop the tears in my eyes and partly to start the healing process, and placed my hand on the back of his head. He knew he was going to die. Yet his mother was still his শীর্ষ priority. He had such a হৃদয় of gold… I adored it. With it being such a rarity these days, a হৃদয় like his had to be saved.
I waited for his breathing to steady before I unleashed my power onto him… But his breathing didn’t steady. It stopped. Eyes widening and limbs shaking, I laid him on his bed. I looked up slowly and there he was: My dark but lovely cousin, Death. “I… I didn’t see আপনি come in.”
“Obviously not.” Her circled little Thomas and I. “You were going to save him.”
“You could’ve warned me before turning him cold in my arms.” To be honest, I was embarrassed. I am not sure why, but I was. I am sure that আপনি have a feeling in your life that আপনি cannot explain why exactly it is that আপনি feel it. Whether it be love, hatred, sadness, অথবা all of the above… I can guarantee আপনি that আপনি are feeling one of those feelings in your life right now.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? If I refused to destroy the little boy that আপনি have become infatuated with? Exodus… প্রণয় is a very dangerous thing, especially for us…” I stood up then, “You snake! I am not-” “Watch your tongue, Exodus! আপনি should never call Death a snake!”
“That is what separates me from the humans, isn’t it? That I would dare call Death such a thing but they wouldn’t in a million years!” I pushed him away from me, my gaze going back to Thomas again. Pang! I put my hand on my chest and looked at Death. “I… I apologize, cousin. I was not thinking.”
“Damn right আপনি weren’t!” I had never seen my cousin so angry. I took a step back and he quickly calmed down. I can always look like a হারিয়ে গেছে and scared কুকুরছানা when I want to. “Exodus… I came to remind আপনি of the Forces Meeting. This little lad was distracting you… I could not have that. So I killed him. If he was distracting আপনি now what was stopping him from doing so in the future?”
“But he had such a lovely voice…” I stop myself. It is best not to argue with Death, no matter the situation. I sighed and straightened my vest while brushing it off; It had been wrinkled and gotten a tad bit dirty during our brief argument.
“What? Did আপনি say something?” My cousin had not been listening. He was too pre-occupied with fixing his own suit to listen to my words. “Nevermind, cousin. It was nothing of significant importance.” “Nothing that comes out of your mouth ever is,” he jokes and slaps me on the back, “Now let us go to the meeting together and get out of this wretched place, alright?” I nod, somewhat disturbed দ্বারা Death. I know, who isn’t, right? Well, I had never really been until now. I guess when আপনি are around someone your whole life আপনি do not notice their flaws, no matter what anybody else says.
Although, something else did bother me as well… Why was I the only one who seemed to care for beings that were not Unseen Forces? Was I the only one who wasn’t completely heartless? Of course I am, I thought, Everyone else is so goddamn selfish that they cannot think about anyone but themselves…
So we went, just like we do every month. The meeting is for us Unseen Forces (Death, Life, Karma, প্রণয় ETC…) and we have one each মাস of the year. We use it to plan the upcoming days. We get a তালিকা of those to affect with our powers, good and bad, and who will do what each week. I usually do all of my work the first and third week, but this week I am to do it the সেকেন্ড and third week along with Love, the sweetest out of all of us. To be honest, she isn’t bad to look at either. I will admit that Lust has infected my mind with thoughts of her from time to time.
Today was one of those days… Lust is such a pain. Usually everyone fantasizes over my other cousin, Life because she is শীর্ষ princess around here and even I will admit that she is very beautiful, but I feel like প্রণয় just needs some… Well, প্রণয় from time to time, আপনি know? Not everything is about is about Life and I wish that the others would just get that through their thick skulls already.
After the আরো serious part of the meeting is done, we usually hang around and talk to one another, catching up to those who we didn’t get to talk to when we were busy doing our work. Hardly anyone ever talks to me. It’s always Life and Death that get all the attention, while us smaller forces sit around waiting for someone to notice us… To see that we actually exist just like they do.
Today, I sit on one side of the room while প্রণয় sits on the other. We stare at each other for quite a while then she smiles, forcing me to look away. The lustful thoughts of her were returning to my mind, and I just wanted them to stop. I had too much to think about to have those thoughts flow into my mind like they owned the place. Thomas was all I wanted to think about. I had decided not to let him stay dead forever. I would have to গেলা my pride and ask Life to bring him back. Of course she would ask why, but if I told her how good of a person she is she’d do anything for me (Even though I wouldn’t mean it at all.) She just wants the satisfaction of me saying it. I can only pray that she doesn’t bring Death into this.
I stood and began walking to my other cousin, but প্রণয় grabbed my hand in order to stop me. “I must speak to you, Exodus.” God… Her skin was so soft… And her voice… Like an angelic melody. And yet… my হৃদয় did not feel that same pang! that it did when I was around Thomas অথবা Euphoria. I briefly wondered why as প্রণয় dragged me away from the group. “They’ll all get the wrong idea…” I didn’t really want to be alone with her… Lust really wanted me to have her.
“Let them. I must talk to you… About the boy.”
My eyes fixed on her and my fists clenched. “Oh, I need to talk to আপনি about that too.” It’s amazing how quickly I had gotten angry then… Just at the mere mention of his name my anger boiled over.
“That was not my doing, Exodus.”
“Then who was it?”
“Yourself.”
I clenched my teeth and pressed my lips together so I didn’t snap at her right then and there. It wasn’t my fault that he was so cute… And had such a lovely voice… And… And…
“How… How could আপনি even say that?”
“Because I know. আপনি loved that little boy. আপনি were… Infatuated, even. With his mother, too. I know when someone is in love; আপনি cannot hide it from me.”
I turned to storm off out of anger but my হৃদয় went off again… And this time it hurt. I groaned and clutched at my chest, falling back and প্রণয় catching me just in time. “You are in grieving… And আপনি just don’t know how to handle অথবা deal with it.” I let myself melt in her arms, clinging onto her like she was Thomas. “It’s alright, Exodus. It’ll be okay.” She looked at me. “I know how আপনি feel… I was once in love, just like you.”
“With who?”
“Names are not important… But he was not one of us, he was human. প্রণয় is… Difficult for us, especially when it is a human আপনি are loving. It cannot work… But maybe, just maybe, আপনি could prove me wrong. But you’ll have to choose just one!”
“What do আপনি mean?”
“I spoke to Life. She agreed to bring the little boy back. She loves doing things to make her brother mad, especially undoing all of his hard work. It’s just the way that she is. Death will not find out, I will see to that.”
“But… Why, Love?”
“Because I know what প্রণয় is like for us,” She gently stroked my cheek with her thumb, “It is hard, but I think that আপনি can pull through it even though it causes us such pain. Do not prove me wrong. Go and fight for that young woman and little boy.”
I blink as she walks away, slowly smiling. I realize then that I am not the only one who cares for humans and is struggling to control my emotions… If only I had known sooner.
A week later, I find myself walking down the same রাস্তা as before, only Euphoria is not outside asking if I would like to buy a tapestry. I gently knock on her front wooden door, but it takes her a few মিনিট to answer. Understandable, I suppose. I am quite sure that দ্বারা then she had found Thomas’ cold and lifeless body, Only to have it become warm and live again a দিন later. When she opened the door, she was as white as a sheet and seemed surprised to see me again. “C-Come in…”
I stepped into that house for the সেকেন্ড time in a week and there was Thomas… Sitting on the পালঙ্ক and drinking some cheap Earl Grey tea. Euphoria still remained at the door, stunned with it held wide open. The little one instantly put his চা down and ran to me, giving me the most gigantic hug of my life. I am only 5’11 while my dark cousin is 6’4, so I am considered short in our group. Still, I was much taller than eight বছর old Thomas, who had to মোড়ানো his arms around my waist in order to hug me. I pat his head gently, when what I really wanted to do was embrace him like his mother never did and as tightly as I could, but I was not able to. প্রণয় had told me to choose just one… And, well… I had. I sat down on a small chair in the corner of the living room, Thomas plopping down onto my lap. I laughed softly and looked at his golden locks, “Feeling better, I assume?”
“Much better.” He smiled like a little eight বছর old boy should.
I grinned back and looked at Euphoria, who had finally closed the door and was walking towards us. “You’re welcome.”
She looked petrified still, but discreetly waved me over into her bedroom. “Exodus… আপনি came back.” I was half surprised that she remembered my name and half surprised that she actually cared. “Well, yes I did… I had to see how Thomas was doing.” I reminded myself not to call him “little” Thomas in order to let go of the infatuation I had had with the boy. “He died…” She didn’t look at me when she ব্যক্ত it. “And then a দিন later… He was just… Alive again.” “May I sit on the bed, ma’am?” “Are আপনি not listening to me? He was dead, then alive! How could he-” “I asked if I could sit on the bed, ma’am?”
My voice was stern, as was my stare. She motioned me to the বিছানা quickly so she wouldn’t have to look at my eyes any longer. My eyes are a kind of electric blue and it matches my dull brunette hair… I am better looking than Death, if I do say so myself. I sat on the firm and hard bed, sighing slightly while my eyes never leave hers. “You come and sit down with me now too.” She did so, looking like she might burst into tears at any moment. Because of this, I softened my tone. “All that matters is that he is better now, right?”
“I… I suppose so, but-”
I lean in so I am only inches away from her face, bringing her chin up so she would look up at me. “I tend to not প্রশ্ন such glorious things…”
“I can’t just simply accept this, Exodus. It needs to be explained and it needs to be explained now. I am glad that he is…” She grimaces ever so slightly, only enough that I would notice it while others wouldn’t, “...Alive again, but it’s so unbelievable.”
“Euphoria… When God sends আপনি a blessing, আপনি do not ask why it was sent.”
She sighed tiredly, laying her head on my shoulder. I try not to notice how much warmer I feel now. Not knowing how to react, I just lay back and she falls onto me, which is not what I had planned, but it feels even better than having her head on my shoulder did. “Exodus…? Are আপনি an অ্যাঞ্জেল sent down from the heavens?” I প্রণয় how humans always assume the exact opposite of what আপনি actually are. I am no angel, and you, dearest reader, know this better than anyone else. I have প্রদত্ত আপনি so much information about myself… And I know nothing about you. Perhaps I have প্রদত্ত আপনি too much information about myself, because আপনি know আরো about me than my actual cousins do. It makes me regret ever লেখা this story… But I cannot back down now. I cannot betray them again.
“No darling,” I say gently, “In reality, I am your worst nightmare.”
“Hmm?”
“Nothing… Go to sleep, love.”
She was dead to the world in less than a minute.
I did not sleep. My হৃদয় would not allow me to do so. I had wrapped my arm around her, and even though it was asleep দ্বারা now, I didn’t mind. It was nice to hold something so dear close to me when my whole life was full of holding nothing at all. Once, I even snuck a gentle চুম্বন on her forehead. Is this what প্রণয় feels like, dearest reader…? Your হৃদয় hurts, but আপনি প্রণয় it. Every মিনিট of it makes the world seem so beautiful and pure when it is actually an ugly and hideous thing.
I have often wondered if প্রণয় feels different for the Unseen Forces than it does for humans. From what প্রণয় said, it is… But I can’t really bring myself to believe that. প্রণয় is love, no matter the being. I don’t know… প্রণয় knows how her own powers work আরো than anybody else does, so I suppose that she must be right. Even so… Well, আপনি get the point.
Thomas did not come in that night. I do not know why, but it was quite unusual. He always slept with Euphoria. Perhaps I had scared him away… But he seemed to প্রণয় me, so that couldn’t be it. I did not know why then, but I most certainly do now. And that word (Or person) had something to do with it. Love. Turns out that she wasn’t all that she claimed to be… But I’ll let আপনি guess (For now) as to what she really was.
Finally, morning came. Euphoria only snuggled my chest আরো than she already was when she woke up. Thomas still hadn’t come in, but I thought nothing of it at the time. “Good morning, angel.” “I told you-” but I stop. It feels amazing being called “Angel” দ্বারা her, even if I am not one. “...Good morning, gorgeous.”
“Is Thomas awake yet?”
“I don’t know… He never came in last night.”
“Really? Huh… That is strange…”
She got up and left the room, checking on Thomas. I just laid there on her বিছানা for a while. Honestly, I didn’t want the moment to end, it felt so sweet, but she had to make sure her son was alright… He had been অভিনয় pretty odd lately. No matter what, a child is always the most precious thing to a mother… Which is probably why mother is god in the eyes of a child.
I stood slowly and put my vest back on. I took it off to sleep, which I didn’t do, but kept my white button-up শার্ট on. I ran a hand through my messy hair and tiredly went to follow Euphoria. I yawned and saw Thomas asleep on the couch. Euphoria was now in the kitchen, making চা and cookies. I sat পরবর্তি to Thomas and rested my head on my hand, which was propped up on the arm of the couch. My pale skin practically glowed when the morning sunlight that was coming in from the window hit it, causing me to sit on the chair in the corner again. I have always hated the paleness of my complexion, but I cannot change it. Trust me, I have tried. I am just a naturally pale person, I suppose, and it was always meant to be that way.
I don’t know… I guess I am just tired of looking like a vampire all the time. Especially with what they have become in this present দিন and age… But then again… Why does it matter when no one can see you?
Euphoria brought me the চা and বিস্কুট once they were finished. They weren’t bad for a poor family like them. Thomas started to stir, probably from the smell of the cookies. After all… What eight বছর old little boy doesn't like cookies? He leaped on them once he realized what they were and as soon as he was able to do so. I chuckled slightly as I slowly ate my own. He ate about six himself, then went to বিছানা claiming he had a stomach ache. Funny thing, আপনি humans. আপনি all literally eat yourselves to death. There আপনি go with the খাবার again… Always makes me chuckle, though it disgusts Death.
“He was a hungry little boy…” Euphoria smiles as she watches Thomas walk into his own bedroom.
“What do আপনি expect? He is a growing boy and they eat like horses.”
She gazed at me for a moment, seemingly studying my face, but I just kept my eyes on the দেওয়াল in front of me. “Exodus… I…” She stopped suddenly.
I threw her a side glance and embraced her, partly to throw her off and partly to feel that feeling again. The feeling of love.
“...You aren’t wearing a wedding ring.”
I sit confused for a moment, quiet and still, my arms still wrapped around her. Of course I wasn’t wearing a wedding ring, I’m not married… Oh… Wait a minute…
“You aren’t married, are you?”
“...No.”
“Why did আপনি lie to me, Exodus?”
“I… I guess I didn’t want to… Fall in প্রণয় with you.” I decided to be honest as I looked away… What was there to lose now?
“Well… Have you?”
“I… I honestly don’t know anymore.”
She blinks once and pulls away, surprised. Dammit… I had lied to myself again. “How do আপনি not know?”
“I just don’t… I can’t really explain it, love.”
She nods and looks down at her hands, which were folded in her lap. “To be honest… I don’t know how I feel about আপনি either, Exodus.” The way she ব্যক্ত my name… Oh, it sent shivers down my spine.
I nodded. “Alright.” I stood and helped her up. “You and Thomas take care, alright? I must be on my way now.”
“What…? Why?”
“Why not?” I couldn’t tell her the truth… That I was Karma and had work to do. She wouldn’t believe me anyway.
“Fine then, go on. Thomas and I will be fine.” She wouldn’t look at me as she walked away. That hurt the most, I think… Not getting to see those beautiful eyes look at me one last time. It was worse than her actual fate. I walked and slowly went down the street. Our lives were never meant to meet, hers and mine… But soon, hers would end entirely.
Our paths had crossed… And the brief sweetness it brought would now come to an end. I know that আপনি probably already think that I am a monster, but after this.... আপনি most certainly will if আপনি do not already. There is no turning back now. I am prepared to have what আপনি think of me sullied… There is nothing left for me anymore so I might as well have that destroyed for me as well.
I must confess something to you… I have been putting all of this off until now. I do not want to relive any of this, but like I ব্যক্ত before, I do owe them. I am putting myself in great pain for them and you, so আপনি can be entertained… আপনি should feel honored. Even now, as I write this, my hands are shaking and my হৃদয় is about to burst… I might die, if that was actually possible. Well dear reader… Prepare to see me become a complete wreck.
I was hanging around the Unseen Forces, and taking bites of a ruby red apple. I hardly wanted to eat, though my stomach strongly disagreed with me. It rumbled and sang the song of its people, much to my annoyance, forcing me to eat just to shut it up. I, on the other hand, did not want to eat. I wanted Euphoria’s বিস্কুট to be the last thing that I ate for eternity. I do not have to eat in order to survive, unlike you… I could’ve gone without the apple, but my stomach was so loud and embarrassing… I decided against not eating. Besides, I would end up looking like a Jew in a concentration camp if I did not eat… Oh my. I apologize for that joke. It wasn’t funny, it was just plain wrong. It’s this damned story… It brings out the worst in me, and in আরো ways than one.
প্রণয় was there with me along with Hate. Hate doesn’t like me. Always has had a thing for Love, though. I knew he wouldn’t act like he does when he is around me for fear of having প্রণয় think bad of him. প্রণয় looked at me with seductive eyes as I looked down at my once red apple. It had turned brown and somewhat squishy, rotting away in my hands. I blinked, slightly confused, then looked back up at Love. She was telling me to follow her away from Hate, who she knew irritated me. I did not know what she was at the time, which is why I obliged happily. Hate was getting on my nerves anyway, and the way she looked at me… Oh, it was like Lust had taken over my body. I threw the আপেল to the side, it landing on Hate’s shoe. He wiped the disgusting and decaying আপেল away, glaring at me. I did it on purpose.
We sat on a bench away from him, প্রণয় and I, she resting her head on my shoulder. I panicked, my eyes widening, and I pushed her away at once. “Only Euphoria is allowed to do that.”
“Oh Exodus… When will আপনি let her go?”
“If I remember correctly, it was আপনি who wanted me to win her হৃদয় in the first place. And I will never let her go as long as I live.”
She sighed, disappointed, and straddled my lap. “Come on, Exodus… আপনি have me now. আপনি don’t need her anymore. I am way better than she ever could be.”
I try to push her away, but my hands stay on her hips. I find that I cannot সরানো them, no matter how hard I try. “You cannot resist me anymore, Exodus. I see the way আপনি look at me in those meetings… আপনি thought আপনি could get away with glancing at my body, didn’t you? I didn’t know Karma could get that way.” “It’s Exo-” And she kissed me with those soft lips of hers.
I hate myself. I was seduced my প্রণয় and her tricky ways a little too easily. I actually kissed her back. I feel so ashamed… I had never kissed anyone before, but when I got around to it, I did not want my first চুম্বন to go to Love. I wanted it to go to Euphoria.
Once I realized what I was doing, I pushed her away, causing her to land on the ground with a thud. “Exodus… What’s the matter with you?”
Before I could answer, I felt sick and ran off. I ran to my room and grabbed the small garbage can that I always kept দ্বারা my বিছানা and vomited. As my body convulsed, I realized what had been true the whole time: I loved Euphoria, but it was a প্রণয় I had প্রদত্ত to myself. প্রণয় hadn’t gotten to me with her powers. She was right when she ব্যক্ত I had প্রদত্ত প্রণয় to myself.
I never thought it possible… That প্রণয় could be created without the help of an Unseen Force. I think that just makes my life towards Euphoria all the আরো real.
I laid on my bed, staring up at my ceiling. I should mention that, for the record, I did not throw up because স্নেহ চুম্বন প্রণয় was a horrible experience… The চুম্বন itself was lovely… I threw up because I was disgusted with myself. I allowed myself to be seduced দ্বারা someone as evil as Love… I know longer blame my weaknesses around প্রণয় on Lust. I blame it on myself. Ones weaknesses are not caused দ্বারা an Unseen Force… They are caused দ্বারা oneself. It is আপনি who creates them, dearest reader, and it is আপনি who must rebel against them and fight.
I suddenly scowled and sprang up, putting my vest on and angrily stomping out to Love. She was talking to Hate, but I punched him in his throat, feeling a rush of violence bubble up inside of me. I do not know what came over me, but… It was quite terrifying.
I took প্রণয় দ্বারা the wrist and threw her down while Hate was busy coughing and gagging. “You are a witch and an evil sorceress! How could আপনি do such a thing when আপনি know my হৃদয় belongs to her?!” I clutched her neck and held her up দ্বারা it, squeezing as hard as I could. I had almost forgot that no matter what I did, no matter how hard I strangled her, she would not die. She clawed and scratched at my hands, causing me to growl and throw her to the side. “You will regret this day!”
No… No, it was much different than that. It was I who would regret that day. The truth was fast approaching… I am only telling আপনি this so that আপনি will not be caught off guard like I was… And maybe retelling this story will help me comprehend it as well. It is not easy to understand your life experiences when আপনি live them, but when আপনি look back and remember them (Or in my case, write them) I find that it is easier to understand the life that you, yourself lived. It may not make sense to you, but try it. It really is easier that way. That is why biographies and autobiographies are written. Or, at least, that is what I believe. Though I have also found that while লেখা this story I am not only লেখা about my life, but the others lives in this story as well.
The Unseen Forces manor is kind of like a Mount Olympus, if আপনি will. It’s high up and away from humans, though it’d look like a mere মেঘ to the naked human eye. There was a rumor going around that someone had made a pair of glasses to see our “Yun Gong.” That really got us all in a state of panic, even me. We went on a frantic search, but nothing was ever found. Still don’t know if they even existed অথবা not.
I began to wander the halls of Yun Gong in খুঁজুন of nothing in particular. I found my cousin, Life, because apparently when I am looking for her I don’t find her but when I have no desire to see her there she is.
“Exodus.”
I try not to look at her and walk by, but she pulls me aside into the shadows, hugging me.
“Life…! What in the-”
“It’s Love. I saw what আপনি did to her back there. আপনি stood up to her… That hurt her আরো than what আপনি actually did.”
“What the hell are আপনি talking about?”
She then leaned into my ear, whispering, “I know the real reason she wanted to save that little boy.”
Before she could even tell me Love’s secret, I ran. A high pitched sound had gone off in my ear… It was Euphoria’s scream.
I ran like I had never ran before… It’s kind of how the pathetic new generation runs when আপনি throw their Iphone into some gravel অথবা concrete. I ran through Yun Gong and down to earth. I ran through England and then through that small town. Then, I finally ran into the house… Seemed like it took ages to get to it.
I swung open the door and there she was… প্রণয় was embracing Thomas.
“Get off of him!” I charged at her and tried to grab her, but she dodged. Thomas took a step back, but clutched my vest in order to stop me, tearing it. My gaze snapped to him, then to the piece of torn cloth that he held in his little hand. “Daddy, please stop!” My হৃদয় went off again and I fell against the wall. Was he…? Did he…? No, he couldn’t have… I am not his father… Yet I started to remember something. “Don’t hurt mommy!” I looked at Love. She was not Euphoria. I was most certain of it… Unless she put a spell on me.
Euphoria then emerged from her room, “Exodus! Thomas! What’s going on in here?!” It was then that the truth behind the situation hit me.
I turned to Love, not answering Euphoria’s question. I was just as much in the dark as she was. “You’re his mother.” প্রণয় gulped and nodded.
Euphoria snapped her gaze to প্রণয় angrily, “What are আপনি talking about?! I am his mother!”
“No আপনি are not.” প্রণয় didn’t take her eyes off of me.
“Yes I am! I remember his birth and I am the one who raised him!”
“False memories. প্রদত্ত from me to you. আপনি were the one to raise him because I was forbidden to.”
“And just who are আপনি anyways?” She had her hands on her hips.
“I am Love, and Thomas here is my son. Not yours, mine. He never really was yours.”
I thought to myself, Well, he does have her looks… As it turns out, প্রণয় had fallen for a human… He had gotten her pregnant, and that human was…
“You… আপনি witch,” প্রণয় cringed slightly at these words, “How could আপনি ever say such things?!”
“Because they are the truth.” প্রণয় thrusted her hand onto Euphoria’s forehead and she screamed. Falling to the ground with wide eyes, she trembles. She could barely even speak as she looked up at me. “You… You…” So what I feared was true.
প্রণয় took Thomas into her arms and darted for the door. I grabbed the boy as quick as I could and pulled, but he yelped in pain so I let go of him. However, Euphoria did not and continued to grab and pull at her “son’s” arm. “Agh! Euphie, let go!” “I am not Euphie, I am your-” প্রণয় handed Thomas to me, for a reason i did not understand at the time, and grabbed Euphoria’s arm. “Dao ling yige cengmian, ni zou ba!” And, just like that, Euphoria was gone.
I fell to my knees, clutching Thomas. It was not a gory “death,” she just simply vanished. Love’s spell had sent her into another dimension. “Exodus… Please listen to me…” “No, আপনি listen to me,” I stood, setting Thomas down, “You are a witch, just like she said! আপনি better not প্রদর্শনী your face at Yun Gong ever again, অথবা I will slaughter আপনি myself! And forget about ever getting Thomas back… He is mine now!”
“I know that… He has your eyes.”
That was actually one of the first things I had noticed about him. He had eyes that were identical to mine. I gulped and looked back up at her as my tone went soft, despite my best efforts to keep it stern and hard as concrete.
“Love… Is he…?”
She simply nodded. “Yes.”
Thomas raised his hands up to me, wanting to be picked up again, and smiled cutely. I felt sick with myself again. “I shall not return to Yun Gong,” প্রণয় said, interrupting my thoughts, “I’ll give আপনি the satisfaction of knowing that.” “Love… How…?” “If and when আপনি see me again, I shall tell you… But then, and only then.” She kissed me for the umpteenth time and disappeared. I looked down at Little Thomas again and hugged him, crying into his small shoulder. He was mine. I had always had something to hold dear to my heart… I just never bothered to look hard enough.
-End, Part 1- The দিন আপনি Slipped Away: Beginning
(Please give feedback if আপনি have any!)
