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I made this when I first started writing. So the grammer isn't very good..


Grady Edwards. A constant on the run serial killer, that is always changing his name. Today he met Susan at the grocery store, he introduced himself as David Harris. He pretended to be divorced, but in reality he murdered his old wife, and her family. "Yep, she was mad at me for my constant tenancy to take shit in the pool" David said. Everyone took a step back. David walked away. Unaware of the danger it will eventually cause Susan asked David to stay with her family. He agreed.

Susan's oldest son, Michael was returning from military school. His family had a surprise party waiting for him, and when he arrived the party had started. Michael met David and he lead the two down towards the basement. He tried befriending him over drinks. "We will bring the family together, farther and son" David said. "STEP farther" Michael said. "Of curse" David ব্যক্ত with a grin. "What if mom disagrees?" Michael asked. "Then I'll have to kill her" David whispered to himself. "WHAT!" Michael cried. "WHAT!" David cried. "Did আপনি just say your kill my mother" Michael asked. "No" David ব্যক্ত quickly. David started bring him upstairs. "This has been a nice chat" David ব্যক্ত quickly. "but David" Michael said, but David closed the door on him.

For a while things seemed pretty ordinary. Until that দিন came, where old Mrs. Martin knocked on their door. She was talking to Susan but nobody heard them. She later told David that Mrs. Martin ব্যক্ত she saw a killer named Granny Edwards on America's most wanted, and he looked just like David. They both laughed, well David pretended to laugh, he was nervous. "This will make me a big hit with the neighbors" David joked.

LATER!

Getting worried, David checked America's most wanted for Granny Edwards, and sure enough there he was. Mrs. Martin knows to much. David had to "take care" of her.

LATER AGAIN!

There was a knock on Mrs. Martin's door. Mrs. Martin answered it, but nobody was there. Unknown to anyone David somehow sneak in. After a small audience scare, using a cat. David appeared and grabbed Mrs. Martin and tossed her towards the open door to the basement. Mrs. Martin catched herself. David walked up to her. He looked at her for a second. Then randomly screamed the famish quote "THIS IS SPARTA!" The kicked her she literary flew over the stairs and cracked her head open at a দেওয়াল at the bottom. She was dead. David closed the door and walked away, quietly laughing to himself.

THE পরবর্তি DAY, AT DINNER!

Earlier that দিন David met Kelly, Michael's girlfriend. "Be careful, people may get the wrong idea about আপনি two" he said. "What do think people think about আপনি moving in with my mother" Michael snapped. David violently grabbed his shirt. "WHAT DID আপনি SAAY!" He screamed. But then suddenly calmed down, and remained that way. "By the way Michael, আপনি know how আপনি wanted that job, well the manager and I had a little chat, and he agreed to put you" David said. "What kind of chat?" Michael asked.

FLASHBACK!

David pointing a fully loaded Desert eagle at the manager. "YOU WANT A BULLIT IN YOU!?" He screamed angrily. "NOO!" The manager screamed. "GIVE HIM THE F***IN JOB!" David screamed. "Alright" the manager said.

END FLASHBACK!

"A nice chat" David said. Suddenly David stared seeing them as his old family, and was getting overly anxious, but soon snapped out of it as.

The পরবর্তি morning, Michael woke up to sirens পরবর্তি doo r. The family asked David what's going on. "You know the old lady next, she fell down the stairs and broke her neck" David told them. "Ou that poor women" Susan ব্যক্ত hold up hands over her mouth.

LATER!

Michael was becoming specious of David. He told his girlfriend Kelly, but she wasn't buying it. "Look what he's doing know" Michael ব্যক্ত pointing to the distance. Shows David chasing a কাঠবিড়ালবিশেষ with a spiked baseball bat. The কাঠবিড়ালবিশেষ ran up a tree. "YA! THAT'S RIGHT RUN! আপনি COWARDLY PIECE OF ইঁদুর SHIT!" David screamed at it. "What's wrong mister Harris?" Kelly asked. "Just mind your own damn business" David snapped. Kelly was about say something when David screamed, "SILENC! I'll KILL YOU!"

LATER AGAIN!

David took Michael to dinner, at a restaurant. David told Michael about his daughters. But Michael got worried again as David seemed to miss say his daughters names.

Michael told Kelly, but she STILL wasn't convinced. "He's hiding something" Michael said. "Doesn't mean he's a killer" Kelly said.

Susan's youngest son Shaun was playing video games super loudly. Susan kept saying tune it down, but he wasn't lessoning. Finally David grabbed the back of his neck. "MAMA SAID! TUNE IT DOWN!" David cried violently. He turned down the volume and walked away. Leaving Shaun staring at him with fear in his eyes.

David approached downstairs and saw Michael and Kelly making out in the pool. "Are আপনি sure it's a good idea, for them to be so passionate at their age?" David asked.

Susan's ex husband arrived today. He Shaun and Susan's daughter for the day, Susan was also gone for the day. Michael and Kelly began স্নেহ চুম্বন in the pool again. It was interrupted when they saw David. David ব্যক্ত he was leaving them alone for a bit. "You two play nice now" He said, then left. As soon as he did Michael began searching through his stuff for evidence that he is bad. Before was able to finish David returned. And Michael and Kelly had to run back towards the pool.

David and Michael were glaring at each other all through dinner. Suddenly the doorbell rang, Shaun and his sister came out with their old dad. He was super angrily. And violently pointed at David. "IF আপনি EVER LAY A HAND ON ONE OF MY KIDS AGAIN! IT'LL BE THE LAST F***IN THING আপনি EVER DO!" The dad screamed angrily. "What the hell are আপনি talking about?" Susan asked. "THIS MAN TRIED TO CHUCK SHAUN OVER THE STUPID VIDEOGAME VOLUME!" He cried angrily. "Susan told him to tune it down, and he didn't" David said. The other dad হারিয়ে গেছে it and started getting violent, but Michael pulled him away and took him outside.

The dad quickly calmed down, and he and Michael agreed to keep an eye on David.

David apologized to Shaun, when they were alone, Susan began getting angry with him, but David promised not to do it again.

Susan's ex husband came over today. Where he was greeted দ্বারা David. He apologized to David for his impression last time. "It's alright" David assured him.

A BIT LATER!

David disappeared into another room. "You know Michael want's me to keep an eye on you, and to be honest, I'd like some answers" The ex dad said. "Do আপনি hear me?" The ex dad cried. "Yep" David ব্যক্ত suddenly appearing behind him. Before the guy realized what happened David broke a glass vase on his head, knocking him unconscious.

David threw him into the basement. And suffocated him in folding paper. "Damn, I forgot to tell আপনি how crazy I am" David ব্যক্ত to the motionless body. "Do want to catch a movie?" David asked the body. The body remains motionless. "HEY (kicks body) ANSWER GOD DAMMIT... Ou right" David said.

David threw the body into the fridge. "I need some cold meat". David opens the fridge, but freaked out because he forgot about the body he threw in a couple সেকেন্ড ago.

LATER THAT DAY!

"Hey honey, I accidently broke your vase" David lied, holding up the vase pieces. Susan laughed. "Don't worry… IS THAT BLOOD STAINS!" Susan cried. "No it's… ketchup, I… dropped a heavy, amount, of ketchup… Ya that's it, liquids are heavier then আপনি think, think of water buckets for example, their like one thousand pounds" David said. "Ok" Susan said, obviously buying it.

ALMOST A WEEK LATER!

David sat on the computer and saw the email, which read.

নমস্কার sweetie,

I need to talk to আপনি about David. I think he's lying, about EVERYTHING! I'm sending someone to keep an eye on him. As for me, I need to catch a plane.

David's eye twitched. He picked up his phone. "Yes, I'll like to make a call about canceling a flight" David ব্যক্ত into it.

LATER!

David came up to Susan's sister at the pool. And violently started drowning her, দ্বারা throwing her head in the water. Once she was dead, David threw the rest of her body in the pool.

LATER AGAIN!

Michael wanted উত্তর once and for all. So he sneaked into the basement. He eventually stumbled on the body of his ex dad, locked in the fridge.

David kidnapped Kelly, and locked Michael in basement, so Michael couldn't do anything

David was losing it at this point, he was taking a bunch of knives and hammers, getting ready to kill. Susan came down. "What's with all the noise?" She ব্যক্ত tiredly. "THE BOY IS THE PROBLEM! HE HAS NO RESPECT!" David cried. David picks a pencil. "YOU GOTTA BREAK HIM IF NESSASSARY!" David cried and tried to snap the pencil, but failed in doing so, he threw it away in anger. "Anyway… আপনি can't do that you're too soft" David told her. "What the hell are আপনি talking about?" Susan asked. "I thought I could make this work, I thought আপনি could be Mrs. Granny Edwards, BUT NO!" David cried and slammed his fist on the টেবিল but suddenly started screaming in pain. "What did আপনি say?" Susan asked. "No that's not right, who am I here?" David asked. "David, what are you" Susan started. "DAVID! David Harris" David ব্যক্ত and then began making a mussed up psychopathic laugh. Susan screamed in fear and ran upstairs, David chased her with a knife.

David cornered her in a bathroom. Susan picked up a piece of glass. And as David was about to stab his ছুরি into her, she put the glass in his neck. "IS THAT ALL আপনি GOT!" David cried before falling down.

Susan met Michael and Kelly downstairs. But David has appeared to have waken up and chased them into the attic.

INSIDE THE ATTIC!

"DADDIES HOME!" David cried. He took out a chainsaw and again started making that that messed up psychopathic laugh. Unfortunately for him he stepped on a skateboard and fell down the edge.

A FEW DAYS LATER!

David, who survived unharmed, met a new family and introduced himself as Chris Ames.
posted by BlackSunshine
I found this and I think some of them are hilarious xD

Prank Call Idea #1
This is an oldie and I have been the victim for the same!
You call up the person and ask for a person name Joey. Since there really is no Joey, the obvious answer would be, ‘You’ve got the wrong number’! Call up the person many times during the দিন অথবা week and disguise your voice in varied accents and ask for Joey. After a few days, call up your victim and say, ‘This is Joey. Have আপনি taken any messages for me?’ I am sure the person at the end of the line would probably want to strangle আপনি with the telephone wire...
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For my friend.
__________________________________________________

If আপনি climb in the saddle, be ready for the ride.

Talk slowly, think quickly.

Never approach a ষাঁড় from the front, a horse from the rear অথবা a fool from any direction.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whloe lot easier than puttin' it back.

Brace your backbone and forget your wishbone.

Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean আপনি have to offer it a place to sit down.

If আপনি find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Don't wake a sleepin' rattler.

Don't squat witn your spurs on.

Every trail has some puddles....
continue reading...
added by 27-5
added by 101trx
Source: i found it. :)
added by Ami_Mizuno
posted by bubbletl
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If আপনি have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal দ্বারা conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what আপনি think."

7. Claim that আপনি must always wear a bicycle শিরস্ত্রাণ as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything...
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posted by InvaderStickly
1. Back away from each person saying, "EW! GERMS!"

2. Sit in someone's lap and say, "I'm afraid your going to die, Jimmy."

3. Bring a radio and play screamo music.

4. Every once in a while, ask a doctor, "IS IT MY TURN YET?!"

5. Ask everyone why they're just sitting there.

6. When Dorah comes on, sing the lyrics.

7. Grab toys such as বার্বি পুতুল and scream, "I'M GONNA KILL YOU! Look, Mr. Stuffy Wuff is happy!"

8. Yell, "IT'S A TRAP!" and tackle a যেভাবে খুশী patient.

9. Poke at someone's scab and yell, "IS THIS SCAB EATABLE?!"

10. When your finally called on, yell, "FINALLY! WHERE WERE YOU?!"

11. Go up to...
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Ways to annoy people in Wal-Mart



Hilarious Ways to be annoying!















"Accidentally" get stuck in one of the ফ্রোজেন খাবার doors. Give people strange looks and see if anyone helps আপনি out.
Add really funny things to other peoples’ carts and watch them pay for it and see if they notice.
Around বড়দিন time, start caroling. Ask for money from the listeners.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
Ask if আপনি can buy a shopping cart.
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Ask Someone if they know were they sell little babies!...
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added by Pokemon_melody
Source: Tumblr
Jeez, so many lists about girls telling guys what they should do when imposing them and such... It's time to extinguish those high standards, with some cold, hard, facts about us. Fighting আগুন with fire. *puts on sunglasses* Oh yeah.

So girls, here's a তালিকা about boys, দ্বারা a boy.


Guys look, but don't flirt!
1. We look at other girls often, as ashamed as some of us might be about it. We're just naturally distracted. It, however, doesn't mean we're flirting with them straight away. Here's a প্রশ্ন I'd like to ask all girls in a relationship. What are আপনি expecting your boyfriend to do, cheat on...
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added by cynti19
Source: via Yahoo! খুঁজুন
posted by Joe1996
1. When আপনি get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why আপনি were speeding, tell him আপনি wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend আপনি are deaf.

4. If he asks if আপনি knew how fast আপনি were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......

5. Ask if আপনি can see his gun.

6. When he says আপনি aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why আপনি were speeding, tell him আপনি had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him দ্বারা his first name.

11. Pretend আপনি are gay and ask...
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added by 1_BIG_dick
added by kingcesar67