This is another chain mail I found, but this one is probably my favourite ever! I can laugh for hours, so enjoy =D

"These are from a book called Disorder in the American courts, and are
things people actually ব্যক্ত in court, word for word, taken down and published দ্বারা court reporters. Just goes to প্রদর্শনী how bad the law profession has gotten.


ATTORNEY: Are আপনি sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
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ATTORNEY: What gear were আপনি in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: আপনি forget? Can আপনি give us an example of something আপনি forgot?
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ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband ব্যক্ত to আপনি that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
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ATTORNEY: Do আপনি know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: আপনি do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the পরবর্তি morning?
WITNESS: Did আপনি actually pass the bar exam?
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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
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ATTORNEY: Were আপনি present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are আপনি shittin' me?
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ATTORNEY: So the তারিখ of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were আপনি doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh... I was getting laid.
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ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are আপনি for real? Your Honour, I think I need a different
attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
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ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: দ্বারা death.
ATTORNEY: And দ্বারা whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do আপনি suppose terminated it?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can আপনি describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male অথবা a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
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ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have আপনি performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would আপনি like to rephrase that?
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ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did আপনি go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
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ATTORNEY: Do আপনি recall the time that আপনি examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the টেবিল wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
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ATTORNEY: Are আপনি qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are আপনি qualified to ask that question?
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before আপনি performed the autopsy, did আপনি check for a
pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did আপনি check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did আপনি check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when আপনি began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can আপনি be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my ডেস্ক in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law."