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posted by montgomeryraina
got this off a website :)

1. I'm so goth, I got a tattoo of celtic knotwork starting at the শীর্ষ of my head, winding all the way down my body, and trailing five feet behind me on the floor.

2. I'm so goth I AM a tattoo.

3. I'm so goth my name is "Tattoo" and I was on ফ্যান্টাসি Island.

4. I'm so goth, in preschool, the only crayon I used was black.

5. I 'm so goth I use black cotton balls.

6. I'm so goth I dyed my shadow black.

7. I'm so goth I dyed my belly button black.

8. I'm so goth my pupils are black.

9. I'm so goth my black is blacker than your black. I call it "black black."

10. I'm so goth, whenever I walk into a room, all the lights go out.

11. I'm so goth the people in the grocery store have refused to sell me any cereal other than Count Chocula.

12. I'm so goth people ask me to AUTOGRAPH boxes of Count Chocula.

13. I'm so goth people touch me and they BECOME goth. They say, "Oh no, now I'm goth!"

14. I'm so goth I wear sunglasses when I open the refrigerator.

15. I'm so goth I don't paint my nails black--I bash them with a hammer.

16. I'm so goth I died and didn't notice.

17. I'm so goth, whenever I knock on somebody's door they give me candy.

18. I'm so goth I write everything on black paper with a black pen in the dark and can never read what the hell I've written!

19. I'm so goth, I'm not only "goth," but also "gothe" "goff" "gawth" "gauwth" "gothic" "gothik" "gothique" and "gawfickk" and soon I hope to be "gauewthickueu."

20. I'm so goth I make Richard Simmons sad.

21. I'm so goth I steal your Happy Meal.

22. I'm so goth I offered to sell my soul to the devil and he wouldn't take it!

23. I'm so goth, when I stop pouting, people ask, "What are আপনি so happy about?"

24. I'm so goth, when I go outside, the sun sets.

25. I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face have atrophied.

26. I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face never GREW. What's a smile?

27. I'm so goth, when I was born, the doctor asked me, "What's with the shades?"

28. I'm so goth I say things like "eternally yours in darkness" and "love and darkness" and "may the eternal darkness of the abyss enrapture and enshroud আপনি in its infernal sickly sweet embrace."

29. I'm so goth I'm a mime.

30. I'm so goth I don't use fabric softener, because I like pain.

31. I'm so goth I'm shocked দ্বারা heterosexuality.

32. I'm so goth I set off airport metal detectors from ten feet away with all my jewelry.

33. I'm so goth I'm the only REAL goth.

34. I'm so goth I have rigor mortis whenever I'm with my girlfriend.

35. I'm so goth I smoke cloves in the shower.

36. I'm so goth I killed myself . . . twice.

37. I'm so goth a little rain মেঘ follows me wherever I go and rains on me.

38. I'm so goth I AM the rain cloud.

39. I'm so goth I'm আরো goth than anyone else.

40. I'm so goth my diapers were pvc.

41. I'm so goth I got my medulla oblongata pierced.

42. I'm so goth I got my mom pierced.

43. I'm so goth I pierced all my tattoos.

44. I'm so goth it takes me an ঘন্টা and a half to get dressed.

45. I'm so goth it takes me longer to get UNdressed.

46. I'm so goth I'm dead.

47. I'm so goth I think electrical tape is a fashion accessory.

48. I'm so goth I carry black খাবার dye around in case I have to eat anything that's not black.

49. I'm so goth I look like Michael Jackson.

50. I'm so goth, in preschool, all my drawings were titled, "DEATH."

51. I'm so goth, in high school, all my papers were titled, "DEATH."

52. I'm so goth my mom is a ninja.

53. I'm so goth all ninjas are my mom.

54. I'm so goth, as soon as I was born I put eyeliner on. And I put on too much.

55. I'm so goth I slather on spf 45 before I open the refrigerator.

56. I'm so goth I think যীশু might have been a vampire.

57. I'm so goth I wore corsets in preschool.

58. I'm so goth I wonder if my dog's মণ্ডল would look better on me.

59. I'm so goth I KNOW my dog's মণ্ডল looks better on me.

60. I'm so goth I গাউন my dog's collar.

61. I'm so goth, when I was born, I asked for a light for my clove.

62. I'm so goth I ate a Happy Meal . . . because I like to live dangerous.

63. I'm so goth little kids are mesmerized দ্বারা my appearance.

64. I'm so goth parents leg their kids when they see them mesmerized দ্বারা my appearance.

65. I'me soe gothe ie thinke puttinge e'se one thee endse ofe mye wordse ise medaevale ande deepe.

66. I'm so goth I've been banned.

67. I'm so goth nobody understands me, especially when I say, "the boom boom like shockalocka!!! flibbaflobba!!!"

68. I'm so goth I don't take my medications, so I can be আরো goth.

69. I'm so goth, when I was born the doctor slapped me and I didn't cry.

70. I'm so goth I make ফুলেরডালি wilt.

71. I'm so goth I like them better that way.

72. I'm so goth I punched a care bear.

73. I'm so goth I think saying "oh my goth" is cute.

74. I'm so goth, when I smile people ask me what's wrong.

75. I'm so goth little old ladies in walkers ক্রুশ the রাস্তা to insult me.

76. I'm so goth I keep getting hit on দ্বারা necrophiliacs!

77. I'm so goth I rooted for Gargamel.

78. I'm so goth I practice my blank stare in the mirror.

79. I'm so goth I tried to be a hippie once and hugged a tree--and it died.

80. I'm so goth that when I moved into Mr. Roger's neighborhood, he moved away!

81. I'm so goth I pierced both my nipples--does that shock you?--then I went to the genetic engineering lab and had my genetic structure altered to grow another nipple, then I had THAT one pierced.

82. I'm so goth I have carpal tunnel syndrome from constantly putting the back of my hand to my forehead.

83. I'm so goth that whenever I walk into a room, আপনি hear "Toccata and fugue in D minor."

84. I'm so goth I listen to The Sisters of Mercy and Bauhaus simultaneously at midnight in a graveyard sitting in a pentagram surrounded দ্বারা candles & and oh, there's a full moon & and then I die. And then I come back to life. And then I die again & tragically.

85. I'm so goth I have actually seriously uttered the phrase, "the darkest dark of the dark darkness."

86. I'm so goth I tried to use Cheer . . . it cried.

87. I'm so goth, when I'm sleeping people come and check my pulse.

88. I'm so goth I don't have a pulse.

89. I'm so goth I know what pvc stands for.

90. I'm so goth the people at the suicide hotline have asked me to stop calling.

91. I'm so goth I wear pvc pajamas.

92. I'm so goth I'm catholic.

93. I'm so goth nuns and priests resent me because I look শীতল in black than them.

94. I'm so goth I changed my name to Mystryss Darque Wintyr Nyght Rayn Ravyn.

95. I'm so goth I don't have a name. I'm just "goth."

96. I'm so goth all I do is sit around and talk about how goth I am.

97. I'm so goth I always use the word "goth" instead of "got."

98. I'm so goth every sentence I say has the word "goth" in it.



And finally...

99. I'm so goth I'm the only person who understands what goth REALLY is, and I'm not telling you!
posted by akatsuki_lover9
Ways to Annoy:
1.say a যেভাবে খুশী word for no reason all the time.
2.put spicy stuff in a খাবার they like.
3.make a loud farting noise from your mouth and say "uh oh, i sharted."
4.make a farting noise from your mouth and blame it on the guy পরবর্তি to you.
5.go to a drive thru, get your face right up to the speaker and yell as loud as আপনি can.
6.make a REALLY annoying noise all the time.
7.Write using only crayons, markers and paint.
8.When guests are at your house go into the রান্নাঘর and come out with ketchup all over আপনি and say "THE BOOGIE MAN IS HERE!" a bunch of times.
9.in school if there's a problem...
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posted by awesomeblossom1
Here's some of my fave "I wasnt that drunk" jokes hope আপনি like :)
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when আপনি heard someone talking on the intercom, আপনি fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give আপনি a ride প্রথমপাতা and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a মাশরুম and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples...
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1. Don't EVER tell us to CALM DOWN when we're angry. We hate that, and it often makes the situation worse.
2. Don't act like আপনি know what you're talking about when আপনি don't. It just pisses us off.
3. Don't treat us badly and with disrespect.
4. Don't give us commands like we're some kind of dog. We're your equal and should be treated as such.
5. Sure, you're the guy, so আপনি can act like you're the stronger one... Whatever... But, don't EVER act like you're the head of the house. Relationships are to be an equal situation.
6. Don't yell at us when we do something wrong.
7. When আপনি screw up, don't...
continue reading...
posted by Shelly_McShelly
Researchers in the UK examined আরো than 1000 jokes and placed them before 36,000 voters to determine the "official" 50 funniest jokes of all time.

And here they are:

50. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'. So I went - and I got it.

49. A সীল walks into a club...

48. Went to the corner ভান্দার - bought 4 corners.

47. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray.

46. I'll tell আপনি what I প্রণয় doing আরো than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

45. I tried water polo...
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posted by মাইলোরক্স১৮
1. When আপনি get pulled over, say “What’s wrong, ossifer, there’s no blood in my alcohol?”

2. When he asks why আপনি were speeding, tell him আপনি wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend আপনি are deaf.

4. If he asks if আপনি knew how fast আপনি were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to……

5. Ask if আপনি can see his gun.

6. When he says আপনি aren’t allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why আপনি were speeding, tell him আপনি had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him দ্বারা his first name.

11. Pretend আপনি are gay...
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posted by Mallory101
" Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
If you're rich, I’m single!
0-60 in 15 minutes!
A clean car is a sign if sick mind.
100% Irony Free
Adrenalin is my drug of choice.
Adults are just kids with money.
Baby on bored
HOME SCHOOL. Smarter than ever.
I talk to strangers
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
Pain is inevitable misery is optional.
To All আপনি Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Your honor student deals the best drugs.


The fastest way to a fisherman's হৃদয় is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re...
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found this on the net:

18 Fun Things To Do In A Final That Does Not Matter (i.e. আপনি are going to fail the class completely no matter what আপনি get on the final exam)

1) Get the copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!"

2) Talk the entire way through the exam. Read প্রশ্ন aloud, বিতর্ক your উত্তর with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure আপনি can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3) Bring cheerleaders.

4) Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five মিনিট into it, loudly say to the...
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posted by slytherin360
Found this on the net:

24 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of আপনি just shut UP!"

2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

3. Crack open your ব্রিফকেস অথবা purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

4. Offer name ট্যাগ to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they...
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Check out this infected canker sore in my mouth!
I work for the IRS.
Have আপনি ever tried cat meat?
I don't know why I ate it - liver and onions always gives me gas.
I just had a proctological exam - wow, worth every penny!
The last time my head rang like this I woke up with a dead man পরবর্তি to me!
I puked on the last person who flew পরবর্তি to me.
My butt reeeally itches!
Would আপনি look at the size of the hair I just yanked out of my nose!
My psychiatrist says that flying helps offset my desire to mutilate small, defenseless, woodland creatures.
The last guy who ignored me is still on a respirator....
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added by loonybug
Source: tumblr
added by RoohWinchester
Source: গুগুল
added by SylarNight
Source: made দ্বারা SylarNight
posted by KataraLover
As many of আপনি are aware, I absolutely ADORE Wicked and I'm so excited about the movie adaptation that is just taking FOREVER to be made, even before the pandemic came along. So, like many people, I just keep wanting them to make some casting announcements for the movie already and have been making my own fan-cast for the movie, even making a video of my fan-cast. However, I felt like taking the time to explain my casting choices so everyone knows why I made my choices. I will provide my fan-cast video at the end, so আপনি can hear the vocal capabilities. Please keep in mind that this is just...
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posted by উন্ডওয়াকারগাই৪৩০
David Cage, the creator of many famous games of the সাম্প্রতিক era. A man who is ব্যক্ত to be one of the most creative minds in gaming right now. And yet, no matter who আপনি ask, there is only two opinions on this guy. There’s the people who like David Cage and then there are the people who don’t. And I’m one of the people who don’t. Welcome to an episode of Content Cuck. And this is the David Cage and Quantic Dream rant article. I’m here to discuss all the flaws of every Quantic Dream game, yes, all five of them, and talk about the flaws of David Cage, from the self centered behavior to...
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added by 8theGreat
added by ace2000
added by ace2000
added by tanyya