Hm, okay, so, we're all familiar with Operation: Cheer up Mef, arn't we?
If not, go read Dib's and Nny's articles; Operation: Cheer up Mef & Operation: Cheer up Mef- THE SECOND.
Personally, I want to thank these two the most. Dib, it was YOUR idea for this whole 'Operation,' and Nny, আপনি were the most contributous- TWO GIFTART PICTURES!? AND AN ARTICLE?! Damnit, আপনি must care about me a LOT. I'll promise not to explode your head.
That's not to say I'm not also extreamly greatful also to the following;
SierraDawn9.
InvaderRaven.
Zenzes.
IntrepidKeris.
BlackRoseLove.
Catgirl140.
PhoenixRoyale.
All of আপনি guys either মতামত প্রদত্ত on Dib অথবা Nny's articles, and ব্যক্ত something I either appreciated, অথবা liked hearing. If আপনি didn't do that, then I put আপনি there দ্বারা accident. (xD)
A lot of people have been asking me 'What's wrong?' and I appreciate the care. My response has usually been 'Life's being shit again,' অথবা something along those lines.
The reason? I didn't really want to say anything about what's really happening in the life of Mephisto N.
Because of all the support I've got from the amazing people here, I've decided to গেলা my goddamned pride and actually say what's been troubling me.
BEFORE I do that, however, I hasten to add this; I hate sympathy letters. Send me sympathy letters and I'll send আপনি hatemail. So, not after sympathy, I'm after actual ADVICE.
O ja, en Nny? Jy het aan my gegee pretty damn goeie raad. Ek kan nie genoeg dankie sê vir wat. Ek is na ander mense se mening is hy ook al is, okay? ;)
Back to English now, so আরো than one person knows what I'm saying and it isn't mindless gobbledegook. (Is that even a word?)
দ্বারা 'shit' I'm refering, not to any particular aspect of my life, but life in general.
Just today I got my test results back from a Doctor's appointment- I've been fainting, see? I have low blood pressure, and that's one of the reasons I've been having these spells. Further causes are unknown- I'm quite concerned, I don't want to faint and not wake up again.
On the topic of bodily functions other than removing people's vital organs, I've been hallucinating much আরো freqently. Grinning maggot-slugs, about 6 foot, are crawling all over my walls as I type this. I'm using all of my self-control to focus on the screen and not scream, and start beating the revolting things with my baseball bat.
ব্যক্ত hallucinations are also starting to have a major influence on how paint- প্রতিমূর্তি desribing my Schizophrenia better than one could put in words. Swirls of dark red and black, depicting mutilated অস্থি and ice-cold beings, হারিয়ে গেছে in seas of their own creation.
It seems everything I do- The way I talk, the way I move, the way I paint and draw and write- has taken on this dark hue. Saturated in my own shit.
Forgive me for sounding so melodramatic... 8/ It sounds like overdramatic prose, I know, I hate it as much as আপনি do.
My hypnophobia is getting worse, too- I'm 3 days without sleep and I feel like my eyes are going to burn right out of my skull.
The reasons for ব্যক্ত hypnophobia, is unknown to me as of yet. Sure, I've been having nightmares, but they don't trouble me all that much.
Drowning. I'm always drowning, অথবা suffocating. The rest of the dream is irrelevant, but it's always freezing cold, I can always feel ice growing over me, penetrating me through the অস্থি and leeching into every fibre of my being... I'm deathly scared of water.
I've looked this up in my 'Nightmares; How to make sense of your darkest dreams,' book. Apparently, I'm under much stress, drowning in all the crap that's been going on.
That crap, it's everywhere. Seems to be flowing out of all the bastard's in my lifes pores, suffocating each other and me in particular.
I haven't eaten in 4 days. My ribs keep jabbing into my stomach and it's quite unpleasant. I'm borderline anorexic, apparently. I can't get away with wearing close-fitting shirts anymore, অথবা else people get concerned...
Annie, my foster-mother, is being a REAL bitch. She hates what I draw, what I paint, what I read, and wat I write, because it's not 'happy.' Urgh. It's almost as if she can't quite grasp it's how I'm feeling...
Constant talk of moving to Emerald. That's FAR away from where I live now- It'd mean I'd never be able to see Robert (foster-dad) and I'd be stuck on a ফুল farm, going to some posh School that I don't wanna go to. It means, all my friends... Gone. Just like that. I can't let that happen...
Not that even bothering to try and stay in Croydon is that appealing either. There's so many assholes in my class- Keegan, Chyanne and Rob for starters- and I often daydream about ripping their lungs out, and possibly fracturing some অস্থি whilst I do so.
There are very few people that understand me, in my life. One of the reasons why I've been cutting myself- No, I'm not emo, it's my shoulder I cut. No main veins there. I'm not trying to kill myself, I just want a breather, and self-inflicted pain is bliss.
Have আপনি ever felt like nothing around আপনি is real, অথবা solid? As if you're floating, nothing is important but ending the misery your life has condemned আপনি to?
A lot of people come to me for advice, and I try and give it best I can. Who do I turn to, though? ... No-one listens to me, I'm the quiet little freak sitting at the back desk.
I can honestly say that most of the people in my life, I hate.
I just want out of all this.
It's shit.
I never asked for it.
...
Ah, shit... There's one of those death-maggots crawling across my screen... Tsk...
...
Having ব্যক্ত all that... The people here have always been supportive of my interests, what I like, and people understand me here, as nerdy as that sounds.
Sure, some of আপনি disagree with my rather pessimistic view. I think that's great, though! It gives me something to think about, other than this crap!
For this, what you've all done to help me, অথবা support me... I thank আপনি all again. আপনি mean a lot to me. I cannot express my gratitude enough.
If not, go read Dib's and Nny's articles; Operation: Cheer up Mef & Operation: Cheer up Mef- THE SECOND.
Personally, I want to thank these two the most. Dib, it was YOUR idea for this whole 'Operation,' and Nny, আপনি were the most contributous- TWO GIFTART PICTURES!? AND AN ARTICLE?! Damnit, আপনি must care about me a LOT. I'll promise not to explode your head.
That's not to say I'm not also extreamly greatful also to the following;
SierraDawn9.
InvaderRaven.
Zenzes.
IntrepidKeris.
BlackRoseLove.
Catgirl140.
PhoenixRoyale.
All of আপনি guys either মতামত প্রদত্ত on Dib অথবা Nny's articles, and ব্যক্ত something I either appreciated, অথবা liked hearing. If আপনি didn't do that, then I put আপনি there দ্বারা accident. (xD)
A lot of people have been asking me 'What's wrong?' and I appreciate the care. My response has usually been 'Life's being shit again,' অথবা something along those lines.
The reason? I didn't really want to say anything about what's really happening in the life of Mephisto N.
Because of all the support I've got from the amazing people here, I've decided to গেলা my goddamned pride and actually say what's been troubling me.
BEFORE I do that, however, I hasten to add this; I hate sympathy letters. Send me sympathy letters and I'll send আপনি hatemail. So, not after sympathy, I'm after actual ADVICE.
O ja, en Nny? Jy het aan my gegee pretty damn goeie raad. Ek kan nie genoeg dankie sê vir wat. Ek is na ander mense se mening is hy ook al is, okay? ;)
Back to English now, so আরো than one person knows what I'm saying and it isn't mindless gobbledegook. (Is that even a word?)
দ্বারা 'shit' I'm refering, not to any particular aspect of my life, but life in general.
Just today I got my test results back from a Doctor's appointment- I've been fainting, see? I have low blood pressure, and that's one of the reasons I've been having these spells. Further causes are unknown- I'm quite concerned, I don't want to faint and not wake up again.
On the topic of bodily functions other than removing people's vital organs, I've been hallucinating much আরো freqently. Grinning maggot-slugs, about 6 foot, are crawling all over my walls as I type this. I'm using all of my self-control to focus on the screen and not scream, and start beating the revolting things with my baseball bat.
ব্যক্ত hallucinations are also starting to have a major influence on how paint- প্রতিমূর্তি desribing my Schizophrenia better than one could put in words. Swirls of dark red and black, depicting mutilated অস্থি and ice-cold beings, হারিয়ে গেছে in seas of their own creation.
It seems everything I do- The way I talk, the way I move, the way I paint and draw and write- has taken on this dark hue. Saturated in my own shit.
Forgive me for sounding so melodramatic... 8/ It sounds like overdramatic prose, I know, I hate it as much as আপনি do.
My hypnophobia is getting worse, too- I'm 3 days without sleep and I feel like my eyes are going to burn right out of my skull.
The reasons for ব্যক্ত hypnophobia, is unknown to me as of yet. Sure, I've been having nightmares, but they don't trouble me all that much.
Drowning. I'm always drowning, অথবা suffocating. The rest of the dream is irrelevant, but it's always freezing cold, I can always feel ice growing over me, penetrating me through the অস্থি and leeching into every fibre of my being... I'm deathly scared of water.
I've looked this up in my 'Nightmares; How to make sense of your darkest dreams,' book. Apparently, I'm under much stress, drowning in all the crap that's been going on.
That crap, it's everywhere. Seems to be flowing out of all the bastard's in my lifes pores, suffocating each other and me in particular.
I haven't eaten in 4 days. My ribs keep jabbing into my stomach and it's quite unpleasant. I'm borderline anorexic, apparently. I can't get away with wearing close-fitting shirts anymore, অথবা else people get concerned...
Annie, my foster-mother, is being a REAL bitch. She hates what I draw, what I paint, what I read, and wat I write, because it's not 'happy.' Urgh. It's almost as if she can't quite grasp it's how I'm feeling...
Constant talk of moving to Emerald. That's FAR away from where I live now- It'd mean I'd never be able to see Robert (foster-dad) and I'd be stuck on a ফুল farm, going to some posh School that I don't wanna go to. It means, all my friends... Gone. Just like that. I can't let that happen...
Not that even bothering to try and stay in Croydon is that appealing either. There's so many assholes in my class- Keegan, Chyanne and Rob for starters- and I often daydream about ripping their lungs out, and possibly fracturing some অস্থি whilst I do so.
There are very few people that understand me, in my life. One of the reasons why I've been cutting myself- No, I'm not emo, it's my shoulder I cut. No main veins there. I'm not trying to kill myself, I just want a breather, and self-inflicted pain is bliss.
Have আপনি ever felt like nothing around আপনি is real, অথবা solid? As if you're floating, nothing is important but ending the misery your life has condemned আপনি to?
A lot of people come to me for advice, and I try and give it best I can. Who do I turn to, though? ... No-one listens to me, I'm the quiet little freak sitting at the back desk.
I can honestly say that most of the people in my life, I hate.
I just want out of all this.
It's shit.
I never asked for it.
...
Ah, shit... There's one of those death-maggots crawling across my screen... Tsk...
...
Having ব্যক্ত all that... The people here have always been supportive of my interests, what I like, and people understand me here, as nerdy as that sounds.
Sure, some of আপনি disagree with my rather pessimistic view. I think that's great, though! It gives me something to think about, other than this crap!
For this, what you've all done to help me, অথবা support me... I thank আপনি all again. আপনি mean a lot to me. I cannot express my gratitude enough.
Typhoon Saga Power Levels:
Regular Typhoon: 100
Damayz Possessed Typhoon: 100,000
Mother: 11,123
Shane: 13,000
Shadow: 22,000
Alyosius: 12,004
Book 2: 11,000
Haze (Typhoon Saga: 55,000
Dahlaz: 80,000
Android Typhoon: 75,126
Rouge: 1,000
Damayz (Typhoon Saga): 300,000
Damayz Possessed Dahlaz: 600,000
Haze the Hedgehog Saga Power Levels (So Far):
Haze: 90,000
Nocturn: 100,000
Shockwave: 30,000
Mother: 25,000
Soundwave: 24,000
Hydra: 98,000
Damayz (Haze Saga): 1,000,000
Nightmare: 5,000,000
Xiz: 900,812
Xiz (Full Power): 2,000,000
Typhoon (Haze Saga): 892,412
Typhoon (All Out): 999,999
Typhoon (Weakened): 200,000
Xiz (Weakened): 300,000
Dezray: 666,000
EVEZ: 890,789
Rei: 1,000,000
And that's all,for now anyways.
And yush Power Levels are HUGE Reference to DBZ,But someones gotta know how strong they are. XD
Regular Typhoon: 100
Damayz Possessed Typhoon: 100,000
Mother: 11,123
Shane: 13,000
Shadow: 22,000
Alyosius: 12,004
Book 2: 11,000
Haze (Typhoon Saga: 55,000
Dahlaz: 80,000
Android Typhoon: 75,126
Rouge: 1,000
Damayz (Typhoon Saga): 300,000
Damayz Possessed Dahlaz: 600,000
Haze the Hedgehog Saga Power Levels (So Far):
Haze: 90,000
Nocturn: 100,000
Shockwave: 30,000
Mother: 25,000
Soundwave: 24,000
Hydra: 98,000
Damayz (Haze Saga): 1,000,000
Nightmare: 5,000,000
Xiz: 900,812
Xiz (Full Power): 2,000,000
Typhoon (Haze Saga): 892,412
Typhoon (All Out): 999,999
Typhoon (Weakened): 200,000
Xiz (Weakened): 300,000
Dezray: 666,000
EVEZ: 890,789
Rei: 1,000,000
And that's all,for now anyways.
And yush Power Levels are HUGE Reference to DBZ,But someones gotta know how strong they are. XD