My Love,
How are you?
Not the best way to start. How should I start? Should I – start? Do this? I knew the answer, of course. Nevertheless…
I miss আপনি so.
Not good either. Not enough…
আপনি have taken away with আপনি every reason for my existence.
Definitely bad. She didn’t take it away. I did. I removed myself away from the very meaning of my life – অথবা should I say, wretched, despicable, tormented existence?
Torment. Yes, How I knew it well.
Her eyes. Her lips…. As I’ve said, torment – in its purest form.
I remembered how it wasn’t like this before – when I was still with her. HER. Bella, my life, my love. MY (?) I should stop thinking of her this way. She is no longer mine. She could never be mine. She would never be mine.
Pain. Anguish. Agony.
They ripped, tore my insides.
I প্রণয় you.
Still and will always.
For all eternity.
That part, I want her to know, to believe. Could she still believe me after all I did to her?
Her eyes filled with tears – a too vivid memory.
I gasped. I choked. Regret washed over me.
I wish to see you., hear your voice., feel your warmth.
Aaah…this too much.
Away from you, it is unbearable.
Should I allow myself just a glimpse of her? Has she moved on?
NO! No, please….
Selfish…Always so selfish.
I tried to see the beauty আপনি always saw in the night sky but the stars refused to shine for me tonight, my love. Is it because I am without you?
All I could see is her face.
All I could hear is her voice.
All I could smell is her scent.
How I long to be with her.
She haunts me now.
I smiled wryly - the roles are now reversed.
I sighed.
I wish আপনি happiness.
However she may find it.
Without me…, in the arms of another…
Do I really wish that?
Yes, I thought fiercely. As long as she’s happy…
Hypocrite.
I fervently hope I ক্রুশ your mind once in a while.
I winced.
Idiot! Selfish Idiot!
Does she? Does she still think about me? Does she remember how much I প্রণয় her? How much I tried to be right for her? To be আরো human and less of a monster for her?
Bella, my love, please be safe.
That’s all I ask of her. নিরাপদ – without me.
Pain engulfed me once again.
Is that all I wished for? NO.
I stared defiantly at where they ব্যক্ত heaven should be.
I would trade everything; give up everything, for one আরো blush, one আরো smile, one আরো kiss, one আরো দিন অথবা night…
Even one আরো সেকেন্ড with her.
Yours, for all eternity.
I couldn’t sign my name.
I sighed.
I looked at the letter in my hand.
Every fiber in my being yearned to be with her, I never knew up to what extent, until now.
I balled my fist. Crumpling the letter in the process.
I wouldn’t…I couldn’t send it anyway. I promised I would stay away from her.
But then again, I’m not very good with keeping promises, especially the ones that concerned her.
The phone rang, disrupting my chaotic thoughts.
Thoughts of her.
I stared at it. Contemplating whether I should toss it outside the window, crush it with my fist অথবা hurl it to the wall.
Violence…
I laughed bitterly. Such thoughts were constant for me now. Now that I am without her.
The ringing phone persisted.
Who may this be now? Emmet? Alice? Carlisle? Esme?
A twinge inside my lifeless chest.
My family. I truly am sorry for abandoning them. I sighed.
“Yes?” I asked lifelessly on the phone.
“Edward…She’s gone. I’m sorry. Come back home. We’ll wait for you.” Rosalie ব্যক্ত in one breath.
I gripped the phone tightly.
“What are আপনি talking about?” I demanded vehemently.
“Bella jumped off a cliff, Edward. Alice saw her. She’s at Forks now.”
I dropped the call and dialed a number etched in my memory.
How many times have I imagined calling this number? Countless. But never this way. Not this way.
“He’s at the funeral.” The biting voice replied on the other line after I asked for Charlie.
I tossed the phone aside. I have no strength – to crush it, hurl it. I do not care.
Her eyes. Her lips.
Her voice. Her smile. Her laughter.
Flashed before my eyes .Haunting me.
Gone?
“Why? Haven’t I had enough?” I shouted towards heaven.
“Why? Why?” I whispered brokenly.
I fell on my knees. Like the weak man, I always knew I am, I crumpled to the floor.
My love, the very reason why I still continue to exist…Gone…Dead…
I though I knew torment and anguish very well. I thought wrong. It was nothing compared to this.
I did this to her.
I হারিয়ে গেছে her.
NO, it’s never too late, my mind rebelled.
I smiled viciously as I let sanity escape me.
Only the ache to be with her, to যোগদান her, wherever she is right now burned fiercely inside me.
“I will be with you, my love. Wait for me. I will find you.” I whispered
With this, determination runs through my veins.
I stood up.
Ran – as fast as before.
No, faster. I ran with all the strength and speed I have.
I gave in to sobs that has been trying to wrench their way out of my throat.
I ran, almost blindly for a vampire.
“Bellaaaaa.”
I now have a purpose. To end my existence. To যোগদান my beloved.
How are you?
Not the best way to start. How should I start? Should I – start? Do this? I knew the answer, of course. Nevertheless…
I miss আপনি so.
Not good either. Not enough…
আপনি have taken away with আপনি every reason for my existence.
Definitely bad. She didn’t take it away. I did. I removed myself away from the very meaning of my life – অথবা should I say, wretched, despicable, tormented existence?
Torment. Yes, How I knew it well.
Her eyes. Her lips…. As I’ve said, torment – in its purest form.
I remembered how it wasn’t like this before – when I was still with her. HER. Bella, my life, my love. MY (?) I should stop thinking of her this way. She is no longer mine. She could never be mine. She would never be mine.
Pain. Anguish. Agony.
They ripped, tore my insides.
I প্রণয় you.
Still and will always.
For all eternity.
That part, I want her to know, to believe. Could she still believe me after all I did to her?
Her eyes filled with tears – a too vivid memory.
I gasped. I choked. Regret washed over me.
I wish to see you., hear your voice., feel your warmth.
Aaah…this too much.
Away from you, it is unbearable.
Should I allow myself just a glimpse of her? Has she moved on?
NO! No, please….
Selfish…Always so selfish.
I tried to see the beauty আপনি always saw in the night sky but the stars refused to shine for me tonight, my love. Is it because I am without you?
All I could see is her face.
All I could hear is her voice.
All I could smell is her scent.
How I long to be with her.
She haunts me now.
I smiled wryly - the roles are now reversed.
I sighed.
I wish আপনি happiness.
However she may find it.
Without me…, in the arms of another…
Do I really wish that?
Yes, I thought fiercely. As long as she’s happy…
Hypocrite.
I fervently hope I ক্রুশ your mind once in a while.
I winced.
Idiot! Selfish Idiot!
Does she? Does she still think about me? Does she remember how much I প্রণয় her? How much I tried to be right for her? To be আরো human and less of a monster for her?
Bella, my love, please be safe.
That’s all I ask of her. নিরাপদ – without me.
Pain engulfed me once again.
Is that all I wished for? NO.
I stared defiantly at where they ব্যক্ত heaven should be.
I would trade everything; give up everything, for one আরো blush, one আরো smile, one আরো kiss, one আরো দিন অথবা night…
Even one আরো সেকেন্ড with her.
Yours, for all eternity.
I couldn’t sign my name.
I sighed.
I looked at the letter in my hand.
Every fiber in my being yearned to be with her, I never knew up to what extent, until now.
I balled my fist. Crumpling the letter in the process.
I wouldn’t…I couldn’t send it anyway. I promised I would stay away from her.
But then again, I’m not very good with keeping promises, especially the ones that concerned her.
The phone rang, disrupting my chaotic thoughts.
Thoughts of her.
I stared at it. Contemplating whether I should toss it outside the window, crush it with my fist অথবা hurl it to the wall.
Violence…
I laughed bitterly. Such thoughts were constant for me now. Now that I am without her.
The ringing phone persisted.
Who may this be now? Emmet? Alice? Carlisle? Esme?
A twinge inside my lifeless chest.
My family. I truly am sorry for abandoning them. I sighed.
“Yes?” I asked lifelessly on the phone.
“Edward…She’s gone. I’m sorry. Come back home. We’ll wait for you.” Rosalie ব্যক্ত in one breath.
I gripped the phone tightly.
“What are আপনি talking about?” I demanded vehemently.
“Bella jumped off a cliff, Edward. Alice saw her. She’s at Forks now.”
I dropped the call and dialed a number etched in my memory.
How many times have I imagined calling this number? Countless. But never this way. Not this way.
“He’s at the funeral.” The biting voice replied on the other line after I asked for Charlie.
I tossed the phone aside. I have no strength – to crush it, hurl it. I do not care.
Her eyes. Her lips.
Her voice. Her smile. Her laughter.
Flashed before my eyes .Haunting me.
Gone?
“Why? Haven’t I had enough?” I shouted towards heaven.
“Why? Why?” I whispered brokenly.
I fell on my knees. Like the weak man, I always knew I am, I crumpled to the floor.
My love, the very reason why I still continue to exist…Gone…Dead…
I though I knew torment and anguish very well. I thought wrong. It was nothing compared to this.
I did this to her.
I হারিয়ে গেছে her.
NO, it’s never too late, my mind rebelled.
I smiled viciously as I let sanity escape me.
Only the ache to be with her, to যোগদান her, wherever she is right now burned fiercely inside me.
“I will be with you, my love. Wait for me. I will find you.” I whispered
With this, determination runs through my veins.
I stood up.
Ran – as fast as before.
No, faster. I ran with all the strength and speed I have.
I gave in to sobs that has been trying to wrench their way out of my throat.
I ran, almost blindly for a vampire.
“Bellaaaaa.”
I now have a purpose. To end my existence. To যোগদান my beloved.
I've waited a hundred years
And I'd wait a million আরো for you
Nothing prepared me for of the privilege of being yours, I do
If I had only felt the warmth within your touch
If I had only seen how আপনি smile when আপনি blush
অথবা how আপনি curl your lip when আপনি concentrate enough
But I would have known what I was living for all along
What I've been living for
Your প্রণয় is my turning page
Only the sweetest words remain
Every চুম্বন is a cursive line
Every touch is a redefining phrase
I surrender who I've been for who আপনি are
For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart
If I had only felt how it feels to be yours
I would have known what I've been living for all along
What I've been living for
Though we're tethered to the story we must tell
When I saw আপনি well I knew we'd tell it well
With the whisper we will tame the vicious scenes
Like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees
And I'd wait a million আরো for you
Nothing prepared me for of the privilege of being yours, I do
If I had only felt the warmth within your touch
If I had only seen how আপনি smile when আপনি blush
অথবা how আপনি curl your lip when আপনি concentrate enough
But I would have known what I was living for all along
What I've been living for
Your প্রণয় is my turning page
Only the sweetest words remain
Every চুম্বন is a cursive line
Every touch is a redefining phrase
I surrender who I've been for who আপনি are
For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart
If I had only felt how it feels to be yours
I would have known what I've been living for all along
What I've been living for
Though we're tethered to the story we must tell
When I saw আপনি well I knew we'd tell it well
With the whisper we will tame the vicious scenes
Like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees
Well I can go a million miles an hour
But I’ve been bored so try to drag me down into the night
But if the morning I knew the song
In the arms of a miracle
Come back and see where you’re from
I can see the sun is on the rush
The pulse is strong, it warms আপনি better than the Joe they left behind
But in the breath before আপনি go
In the arms of a miracle
Come back and see where you’ve gone
It starts as a battle of luck
In the end it’s in the hands of a ghost
Well I am
Well I am
I can go a million miles an hour
But I can see the sun upon their eyes
I can go a million miles an hour
I can see it’s all true
আপনি start to feel it finally
It starts as a battle of luck
But it ends when the hands of a ghost lay it down yeah
But I’ve been bored so try to drag me down into the night
But if the morning I knew the song
In the arms of a miracle
Come back and see where you’re from
I can see the sun is on the rush
The pulse is strong, it warms আপনি better than the Joe they left behind
But in the breath before আপনি go
In the arms of a miracle
Come back and see where you’ve gone
It starts as a battle of luck
In the end it’s in the hands of a ghost
Well I am
Well I am
I can go a million miles an hour
But I can see the sun upon their eyes
I can go a million miles an hour
I can see it’s all true
আপনি start to feel it finally
It starts as a battle of luck
But it ends when the hands of a ghost lay it down yeah
So pretty, so smart
Such a waste of her young heart
What a pity, what a sham
What’s the matter with আপনি man
Don’t আপনি see it’s wrong, can’t আপনি get it right
Out of mind and out of sight
Call on all your girls, don’t forget the boys
Put a lid on all that noise
I’m a satellite heart
হারিয়ে গেছে in the dark
I’m spun out so far
আপনি stop, I start
But I’ll be true to you
I hear you’re living out of state
Running in a whole new scene
আপনি know I haven’t slept in weeks
You’re the only thing I see
I’m a satellite heart
হারিয়ে গেছে in the dark
I’m spun out so far
আপনি stop, I start
But I’ll be true to you
I’m a satellite heart
হারিয়ে গেছে in the dark
I’m spun out so far
আপনি stop, I start
But I’ll be true to you
No matter what আপনি do
Yeah I’ll be true to you
Such a waste of her young heart
What a pity, what a sham
What’s the matter with আপনি man
Don’t আপনি see it’s wrong, can’t আপনি get it right
Out of mind and out of sight
Call on all your girls, don’t forget the boys
Put a lid on all that noise
I’m a satellite heart
হারিয়ে গেছে in the dark
I’m spun out so far
আপনি stop, I start
But I’ll be true to you
I hear you’re living out of state
Running in a whole new scene
আপনি know I haven’t slept in weeks
You’re the only thing I see
I’m a satellite heart
হারিয়ে গেছে in the dark
I’m spun out so far
আপনি stop, I start
But I’ll be true to you
I’m a satellite heart
হারিয়ে গেছে in the dark
I’m spun out so far
আপনি stop, I start
But I’ll be true to you
No matter what আপনি do
Yeah I’ll be true to you