HELP: wrinting a editorial for english needs to be 300-500 words i got 200 need আরো ideas.

The প্রশ্ন is:
Assume আপনি are Brinker Hadley, the editor of the Devon Gazette (the school newspaper). Student risk taking and therefore accidents areon the rise and then Phineas not only falls from a বৃক্ষ but dies after falling on the school stairs running away from the Inquiry to his accident. In an editorial, discuss the even as a sample of the outrageous risks that students in the summer of 1942 are being allowed to take whil in school.

This is what I have so far:
In the summer of 1942 lack of supervision resulted in the death of a well respected student. Should someone be blamed?

    It all started one দিন with the decision to do a double jump out of a বৃক্ষ that ended badly with Phineas with a broken leg. After some time প্রথমপাতা Phineas returned, shortly after he returned he was questioned about his injury with all the confusion of what happened, Phineas ran out of the building and slipped on the steps. This soon leads to his death in surgery. Would আরো supervision have prevented this tragic accident?
    
Tragedies like these happen too often when we think people are in a নিরাপদ place but things still happen. Some things that can be done to prevent tragic accidents from happening are আরো supervision, teach students to be নিরাপদ and responsible and have a curfew.

There should be আরো teachers/ supervision in the school and a আরো structured lesson plan so there is not so much time for students to fool around and get hurt অথবা into trouble. If this is done it will assure that things are getting done and students are safe. This will also stop them from doing risky things.

 stephy_rules posted বছরখানেক আগে
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Creative Outlet উত্তর

Cinders said:
First of all, আপনি should make it clear in the first place that you're লেখা this as an exercise of analyzing Jack Knowels' "A Separate Peace."

Secondly, I'm sorry, but I haven't read the novel, so I don't think I'll be of much help. Could আপনি give me some background on the novel, maybe?

EDIT: I CAN help আপনি with grammar.

"After some time প্রথমপাতা Phineas returned, shortly after he returned he was questioned about his injury with all the confusion of what happened, Phineas ran out of the building and slipped on the steps."

You're a bit redundant here. Also, this is a run-on sentence. Change some commas to periods. Consider this bit, too: "After some time প্রথমপাতা Phineas returned, shortly after he returned..." You're repeating yourself, see? I'd take out one of those clauses.

There are a few other redundancies in your text which I think you'll discover as আপনি reread it.

As for suggestions to help make the piece meatier, আপনি say a lot about what should be done but আপনি don't explore how these things should be implemented. What if the school is short-staffed and can't spare teachers to watch kids at all times? What if they don't have the money to hire more? What do আপনি mean when আপনি say "teach students to be নিরাপদ and responsible"? নিরাপদ in what way? Will a আরো structured lesson plan and less time to relax stress the students out more?

Also, আপনি introduced the idea of blaming someone in your first paragraph, but never suggest who you, the editor, think should be blamed for the incident. আপনি imply that it's the teachers and lack of supervision, but if this is really an editorial, your opinions should be far আরো apparent and scathing. Think of yourself as a movie critic. Editorials are opinionated. They're one of the few pieces of journalism that's allowed to be opinionated. So... give your piece an opinion!
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posted বছরখানেক আগে 
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the background is pretty much in the সেকেন্ড paragraph thats what the whole story revolves around. thanks
stephy_rules posted বছরখানেক আগে
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*Edited. :o)
Cinders posted বছরখানেক আগে
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thanks
stephy_rules posted বছরখানেক আগে
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