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Application For Permission To তারিখ My Daughter
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied দ্বারা a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical প্রতিবেদন from your physician.


Name:
তারিখ of Birth:
Height:
Weight:
IQ:
GPA:
Social Security Number:
Driver's License Number:
Boy Scout Rank:
Telephone:
প্রথমপাতা Address:
City:
State:
Zip:



Do আপনি have one male and one female parent? ____
If "No", explain:



Number of years your parents have been married: ____
Any brothers অথবা sisters? ____
Are they normal? ____


Do আপনি own অথবা have access to a van? ____
A truck with oversize tires? ____
A waterbed? ____


Do আপনি have an earring, nose ring, অথবা belly button ring? ____


Do আপনি have a tattoo? ____

If আপনি have answered YES to #3, #4 অথবা #5, discontinue application and leave immediately.


In fifty words অথবা less, what does Late mean to you?





In fifty words অথবা less, what does Don't touch my daughter mean to you?





In fifty words অথবা less, what does Abstinence mean to you?





In fifty words অথবা less, what does Real Pain mean to you?





Church/Temple আপনি attend: ____________________________

How often do আপনি attend: ____________________________


When would be the best time to interview your mother, father and priest/rabbi? ____________________________



Please fill in the blanks:


If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my ____________________________


If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my ____________________________


A woman's place is in the ____________________________


The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ____________________________


When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is ____________________________

Note: If answer begins with "T" অথবা "A", discontinue and leave premises - keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised





What do আপনি want to be if আপনি grow up?





I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture অথবা mental abuse.
Signature of applicant _________________________________

Signature of father _____________________________________

Signature of mother ____________________________________

Signature of priest/rabbi ___________________________________

Signature of State Representative _________________________



Thank আপনি for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. আপনি will be contacted in লেখা if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't call me, I'll call you.
added by Sen_Kagemiya
added by deidaraisgod
added by 050801090907
added by HarleyQuinn1
added by dustfinger
added by IZlover48
Source: epicfail.com
added by liridonarama96
Source: yep...woow
added by TokioSmosh
Source: My mom
added by Jeffersonian
added by Helen-Lover
posted by Bluekait
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program. The পরবর্তি day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 বছর old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If আপনি can catch me, আপনি can have me."

Without a সেকেন্ড thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the পরবর্তি four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs...
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i wanna tell আপনি something and আপনি better listen good here.If there's something আপনি really enjoy and আপনি have a huge dream that your really passionate about then go after it.Don't be afraid to follow your হৃদয় because your হৃদয় will lead আপনি to the right direction.Don't let anyone discourage আপনি and idc who the heck they are.You are always going to meet 2 people in your life.One person will discourage আপনি and tell আপনি that আপনি are never gonna make it and the other person will encourage আপনি to follow আপনি dreams and will believe in you.They will want আপনি to follow your dreams.So listen to that...
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posted by E-Scope90
I'm not trying to be abusive in any way, I just found this. I didn't write this.


Approximately 1-2% of humans, অথবা about two in 100 people in the world, have red hair.j
The ancient Greeks believed that redheads would turn into ভ্যাম্পায়ার after they died.i
Otherwise dark hair may turn red অথবা blond in cases of severe protein deficiency due to starvation.c
Red is the rarest hair color in humans
The most rare hair color in humans is red.b
During the Middle Ages, a child with red hair was thought to be conceived during “unclean sex” অথবা during menstruation.b
Red hair doesn’t gray as much as other hair...
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This হাঁস walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do আপনি have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the হাঁস leaves.

The পরবর্তি day, the হাঁস returns and asks, "Do আপনি have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the হাঁস leaves.

The দিন after that, the হাঁস walks in the store again and asks "Do আপনি have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told আপনি no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if আপনি come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"

The duck...
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1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read প্রশ্ন aloud, বিতর্ক your উত্তর with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that আপনি can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this প্রশ্ন on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into...
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Tell the widow that the deceased's last wish was that she make প্রণয় with আপনি
Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until আপনি find your contact lens.
Punch the body and tell people that he hit আপনি first.
Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.
Ask someone to take a snapshot of আপনি shaking hands with the deceased.
At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.
Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.
Ask the widow to give আপনি a kiss.
Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.
Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask...
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