As I stand on the sidewalk thinking where to even start, I try and think of everything I know about Sam. It’s not much. I know that he has a younger brother. Yes, his name is Tyler and I know because he’s বন্ধু with my younger sister Jennifer. They’re in grade 1 together. I’ve even babysat them for god’s sake. I know that he’s a good student, smart, hardly gets into trouble, but he’s not really involved with anything like sports অথবা clubs. I know that he lives with his uncle because his parents died in a car crash 2 years ago. I know that besides seeing each other in the halls and maybe a few conversations about classes, we don’t really know each other which really makes it hard to know where to look for him. I start walking towards the park, passing my sister’s school on the way. Her দিন hasn’t started yet. She’s still got morning recess. I can see her from where I stand, playing on the swings with Tyler. They laugh like they have absolutely no cares in the world. Right in that moment I’m jealous of them. I look just past them on the other side of the school yard and miraculously see Sam watching them play just as I am. Maybe he’s even feeling a little jealous now. I run along the fence surrounding the kids trying to get to him before he runs away again. I approach him delicately, not wanting him to freak out again. I’m about 4 feet behind him when I softly call his name, “Sam?” I see his shoulders rise and fall in a deep sigh before he turns around. His face is so sad. I really have no idea what to say to him because I don’t know what he’s going through. “Why’d আপনি come after me? Why aren’t আপনি in class?” “Seriously?” I say bewildered, “Do আপনি think I could actually just let আপনি leave after what I saw? আপনি could hurt someone…or hurt yourself” he closes his eyes as I say that last part. “If I could ‘hurt someone’ what’s to stop me from hurting you?” “I’m not scared of আপনি Sam. We may not know each other very well, but I know you’re not going to shoot me.” I say this a bit angrily because I can sense that he’s just trying to get me to leave him alone. “You don’t know what I’ll do” he says quietly. I take a step toward him, but he turns and starts walking down the sidewalk along a side রাস্তা as casual as can be. I follow him. I keep a few paces behind him although I’m sure he knows he has company. He turns into a short drive and walks into a small house, leaving the door wide open. I hesitate at the doorway and experience a minor reality check. I’m following a boy with a gun. There’s really no telling what he’ll do with it. I should be in school right now. This is crazy. I decide to ignore reality right now and walk in and close the door behind me. The house is like the definition of simple: off white walls, mismatched furniture, a beat up old wooden রান্নাঘর table, an old TV and a few scattered toys on the floor, probably Tyler’s. Other than a few cobwebs in the corner and a glass left on the table, the place is clean and bright because of the open drapes. I walk farther into the house and find Sam leaning against the রান্নাঘর counter. He’s plopped his backpack দ্বারা his feet. “So…” I start but don’t know how to finish. “This is your house?” dumb question. Obviously this is his house. “Ya, my uncles” he says not really to me, আরো to the floor. I’ve already practically invited myself in so I go ahead and sit in one of the 4 রান্নাঘর chairs. It creaks a little as I sit down. “Do আপনি want to talk about something? Anything?” I ask. He lets out a long breathe and sits across from me at the table. “Do আপনি really want to talk to me?” he asks. “Well, ya” I say “why don’t আপনি tell me why আপনি brought a gun to school?” I ask bluntly. “I know.” He says, his face in his hands. “I know I shouldn’t have brought it to school, I just thought if I was at school, it would stop me from using it. It’s so tempting to use it. But if I use it, it’s really over. The end. And I’m thinking now, you’re the only one who can stop me. So let’s talk about that.”
As I try to think of something, anything to say to him now, I recall the first time I saw Sam outside of school.
It was about a বছর ago. Tyler was at my house playing with Jen. It was late and they both needed to be put to bed. Their tiredness only resulted in them fighting. I eventually put them on time-outs until Tyler’s uncle showed up. অথবা I thought it would be his uncle. It turned out to be sam. I opened the door when he knocked and was a little thrown. I recognized him from school, but only as the quiet boy I’d never talked to. His hair was wet as if he’d just showered and he smelled of soap, fresh and clean. I smiled and introduced myself. He smiled back. It was a really beautiful thing. It lit up his eyes and I do believe I blushed slightly. Taking him in felt like drinking a warm hot চকোলেট অথবা feeling the sun seep into your skin. As Tyler trudged to the door I watched Sam watch his brother. With such warmth. He called him bud, tousled his hair, and grabbed his back pack for him as they turned to walk back off my porch. Before Sam was too far away he turned and ব্যক্ত “Thanks, Sarah. It was good to see you. Talk to আপনি at school.” I waved good bye and closed my door and just listened to his voice play over and over in my head. Who knew he’d affect me like that?
As I try to think of something, anything to say to him now, I recall the first time I saw Sam outside of school.
It was about a বছর ago. Tyler was at my house playing with Jen. It was late and they both needed to be put to bed. Their tiredness only resulted in them fighting. I eventually put them on time-outs until Tyler’s uncle showed up. অথবা I thought it would be his uncle. It turned out to be sam. I opened the door when he knocked and was a little thrown. I recognized him from school, but only as the quiet boy I’d never talked to. His hair was wet as if he’d just showered and he smelled of soap, fresh and clean. I smiled and introduced myself. He smiled back. It was a really beautiful thing. It lit up his eyes and I do believe I blushed slightly. Taking him in felt like drinking a warm hot চকোলেট অথবা feeling the sun seep into your skin. As Tyler trudged to the door I watched Sam watch his brother. With such warmth. He called him bud, tousled his hair, and grabbed his back pack for him as they turned to walk back off my porch. Before Sam was too far away he turned and ব্যক্ত “Thanks, Sarah. It was good to see you. Talk to আপনি at school.” I waved good bye and closed my door and just listened to his voice play over and over in my head. Who knew he’d affect me like that?
I wrote this is five minutes. Not that good, I know.
It's in the point of view of a fire.
It's in a fireplace in a living room.
Hope আপনি enjoy.
Read to the rhythym আপনি would
'The Night Before Christmas'
I flickered and jumped
and sat on the logs
and watched as the human
kicked off his clogs.
The dog soon followed
and sat দ্বারা his side
and they soon were asleep
and my flame soon died.
But a flicker did linger
and I wondered a bit.
When would be the পরবর্তি time
that I would be lit?
-starwarsfangirl
5/4/10
It's in the point of view of a fire.
It's in a fireplace in a living room.
Hope আপনি enjoy.
Read to the rhythym আপনি would
'The Night Before Christmas'
I flickered and jumped
and sat on the logs
and watched as the human
kicked off his clogs.
The dog soon followed
and sat দ্বারা his side
and they soon were asleep
and my flame soon died.
But a flicker did linger
and I wondered a bit.
When would be the পরবর্তি time
that I would be lit?
-starwarsfangirl
5/4/10
I am bored with love
and it's passionless limbs
that drape over my bed
in a lethargic state of impotence
while wearing the same red heart
my soul picked up hitchhiking
off highway serendipity
Now here we are
alone in togetherness
trying to build dreams
with two দ্বারা fours and glue,
but even a home
won't tie us together
when our hearts live alone
Poetic vows cliched
into nothingness
like all words do, eventually
and we allowed our bodies to become another pair of hollow shadows that make প্রণয় to a wall
instead of each other
and we wonder why
the ফুলেরসাজি are dying
and it's passionless limbs
that drape over my bed
in a lethargic state of impotence
while wearing the same red heart
my soul picked up hitchhiking
off highway serendipity
Now here we are
alone in togetherness
trying to build dreams
with two দ্বারা fours and glue,
but even a home
won't tie us together
when our hearts live alone
Poetic vows cliched
into nothingness
like all words do, eventually
and we allowed our bodies to become another pair of hollow shadows that make প্রণয় to a wall
instead of each other
and we wonder why
the ফুলেরসাজি are dying
jamie is a beautiful girl. she has long ,blond hair,she has a পরাকাষ্ঠা শার্ট and dark blue jeans. she was the cousin of lindsey.
she was walking her dog,sweetie,when,jamie tripped on a rock. she thn fell into the arms of trent.
'hell," he said.
"thnks for saving me,abd hi."
"you okay?"
"yeah,but,i,need to rest,and my house is pretty far from here.
"you can com,e over. i live across."
"thanks,um,"
"trent."
"trent."
they went to trents house,and they went up to his rom
"and this is my room."
i had a gray wall,with gutiar poster,and a bed.closet,drawers and other things.
"wow,thats a cool room."
"thanks."
"listen,do আপনি have a girlfreind?"
"no,why?'
"i dont,do আপনি wanna go out?"
"okay."
"so.."
then trent kissed jamie,and thats hat went on for the rest of the day.
she was walking her dog,sweetie,when,jamie tripped on a rock. she thn fell into the arms of trent.
'hell," he said.
"thnks for saving me,abd hi."
"you okay?"
"yeah,but,i,need to rest,and my house is pretty far from here.
"you can com,e over. i live across."
"thanks,um,"
"trent."
"trent."
they went to trents house,and they went up to his rom
"and this is my room."
i had a gray wall,with gutiar poster,and a bed.closet,drawers and other things.
"wow,thats a cool room."
"thanks."
"listen,do আপনি have a girlfreind?"
"no,why?'
"i dont,do আপনি wanna go out?"
"okay."
"so.."
then trent kissed jamie,and thats hat went on for the rest of the day.
i dindnt say anything for a minute,then i spoke.
'do আপনি know why?"
'well,she ব্যক্ত something about an old friend in texas." izzy told me.
"you dont think.."
"maybe.where else could she have gone?"
"come দ্বারা my house after school,i have plan."
After school,izzy came over.We went to my room.
"what are we gonna do?"izzy asked,as soon as she walked in the room.
"wee gonig to find aslee" i siad,trying to sound as serious as possible.
"youre kidding,right? i mean,where are we gonna go?"izzy said.
"texas"
she stared at me.Blankly.Not saying a thing.As if she was gonna drop dead.
"izzy?"i asked,trying to get her back to reality.
"you must be on drugs," she said
"what?"
"youve got to be joking me.i mean,your mom is not gonig to take us,my mom is dead,and theres no way ere gonna..wait...your not saying?
"yep,wee going to texas"
'do আপনি know why?"
'well,she ব্যক্ত something about an old friend in texas." izzy told me.
"you dont think.."
"maybe.where else could she have gone?"
"come দ্বারা my house after school,i have plan."
After school,izzy came over.We went to my room.
"what are we gonna do?"izzy asked,as soon as she walked in the room.
"wee gonig to find aslee" i siad,trying to sound as serious as possible.
"youre kidding,right? i mean,where are we gonna go?"izzy said.
"texas"
she stared at me.Blankly.Not saying a thing.As if she was gonna drop dead.
"izzy?"i asked,trying to get her back to reality.
"you must be on drugs," she said
"what?"
"youve got to be joking me.i mean,your mom is not gonig to take us,my mom is dead,and theres no way ere gonna..wait...your not saying?
"yep,wee going to texas"
poem 1:the world
the sun shines bright
there's day,and there's night
both are beautiful sights
this is the world
Winter,spring,summer,and fall
is a magical season
so there is no reason
for আপনি to hate
seasons so great
we are all one
we need the sun
we need the air
we all care
about the world
poem 2:love
there is something above
we cant see it
we cant bee it
but we all know what it is
it is love
প্রণয় is what we need
to live,to breath
to be what we can be
we all need love
প্রণয় is power
প্রণয় is strong.
thats why প্রণয় songs
are so very strong
Poem 3:run (this one isnt all that good)
in the sun
is where i run
away from here
ill not be near
Something that will kill me
something that can be
so deadly and strong
and can kill me with a song
thats why i run
in the sun
i still remember আপনি hum.
im sorry i must run.
the sun shines bright
there's day,and there's night
both are beautiful sights
this is the world
Winter,spring,summer,and fall
is a magical season
so there is no reason
for আপনি to hate
seasons so great
we are all one
we need the sun
we need the air
we all care
about the world
poem 2:love
there is something above
we cant see it
we cant bee it
but we all know what it is
it is love
প্রণয় is what we need
to live,to breath
to be what we can be
we all need love
প্রণয় is power
প্রণয় is strong.
thats why প্রণয় songs
are so very strong
Poem 3:run (this one isnt all that good)
in the sun
is where i run
away from here
ill not be near
Something that will kill me
something that can be
so deadly and strong
and can kill me with a song
thats why i run
in the sun
i still remember আপনি hum.
im sorry i must run.
I remember the times of the i প্রণয় you's
and times when it was i hate you.
But আপনি come back begging at me feet.
And when my pity defeated me.
and the sweet seranades, in our matching shades.
My rose collection, evidence of your effection.
The sheets unmade, from the nights আপনি stayed.
The child in me, from the times আপনি loved me.
The debt আপনি owe, from using the word borrow.
The times i was scared, was the time আপনি spared.
And this dress i wear, in which are people become aware, that আপনি are gone, and withdrawn.
The memories i hold, they are written in bold.
my broken heart, from when আপনি apart.
so rest now my love, up now from above.
and times when it was i hate you.
But আপনি come back begging at me feet.
And when my pity defeated me.
and the sweet seranades, in our matching shades.
My rose collection, evidence of your effection.
The sheets unmade, from the nights আপনি stayed.
The child in me, from the times আপনি loved me.
The debt আপনি owe, from using the word borrow.
The times i was scared, was the time আপনি spared.
And this dress i wear, in which are people become aware, that আপনি are gone, and withdrawn.
The memories i hold, they are written in bold.
my broken heart, from when আপনি apart.
so rest now my love, up now from above.
I'm sat at home
In my cardboard box
I'm scared to death
So I cuddle my socks
I hear the key turn in the door
Fear swells inside of me
My hope plummets through the floor
I peep outside my little box
In time to see my daddy roar
I'm worried now, I realise
Because he's angry I notice now
That what I'm seeing with swollen eyes
I don't know when I don't know how
It may be the last thing I ever see
This may be the last of me
I see his boots come closer, so I shriek
My bruises hurt আরো than ever
He picks me up, I feel so weak
He shakes me now and calls me worthless
I just want him to প্রণয় me
I just want him to know me
But the broken bottle is against my chest
And is thrust through my cotton vest
Into my heart, the pain is fire
I see myself as I float higher
Now my vision is rimmed with darkness
The end is near, I feel its presence
I just wish that I could tell him
I প্রণয় him, but his প্রণয় is dim
In my cardboard box
I'm scared to death
So I cuddle my socks
I hear the key turn in the door
Fear swells inside of me
My hope plummets through the floor
I peep outside my little box
In time to see my daddy roar
I'm worried now, I realise
Because he's angry I notice now
That what I'm seeing with swollen eyes
I don't know when I don't know how
It may be the last thing I ever see
This may be the last of me
I see his boots come closer, so I shriek
My bruises hurt আরো than ever
He picks me up, I feel so weak
He shakes me now and calls me worthless
I just want him to প্রণয় me
I just want him to know me
But the broken bottle is against my chest
And is thrust through my cotton vest
Into my heart, the pain is fire
I see myself as I float higher
Now my vision is rimmed with darkness
The end is near, I feel its presence
I just wish that I could tell him
I প্রণয় him, but his প্রণয় is dim