NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President অথবা Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a বছর plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:...

The ভদকা Hotline: 772-257-4492

Outsource-A-Breakup To India: 631-403-2029

Bible Stories in 60 Seconds: 240-258-4010

The "Free Marijuana" Hotline: 267-436-5129

The Divorce Hotline: 631-403-2016

IRS Tax Extension Help Line: 267-436-5139

The "Loud Talkin' Redneck" Hotline: 401-285-0705

A Life-Saving Message: 267-436-5115

"Twilight" Obsession Hotline: 973-409-3307

Ruminations: 631-403-2013

Tech-Support Hotline: 772-257-4678

Automated Sobriety Test: 781-452-3027

movie hotline 781-452-4066

Gay Marriage বিতর্ক Line: 413-497-0148

Beer Goggles Hotline: 954-482-4332

Your Status নবীকৃত তথ্য Are Annoying: 267-436-5224

"Travel...

I find homework to be arrogant and inefficient. Schools think they are so important that they can dictate whether অথবা not the kid can have time after school for other, also important things. yeah, we learned all this in class and some kids didn't get it, but first of all, it is not like nobody else in the class understood it, সেকেন্ড of all, they won’t get it any better without a teacher to help, and third of all, if they care enough to get anything out of their education anyway, they will ask somebody for help.
Of course, there are classes in which homework makes sense, such as my AP world...

1. Everytime your reach a new floor, scream "Glory hallelujah! We will reach the promised land!!!"

2. Interrogate people as if আপনি worked for the FBI.

3. Make wild turkey noises and when people tell আপনি to stop, say "You have no respect for animal rights, do you?"

4. Sing your পছন্দ song and when people get annoyed, sing louder.

5. Follow যেভাবে খুশী people off and tell them what to buy every মিনিট অথবা so. If আপনি get in trouble, say আপনি were helping the person make educated choices.

6. Press every button, and try and get off, then, speak into your মণ্ডল and say, "Houston, we have a problem, floor#__...

1. Take someone's shopping কার্ট and switch the items with stuff from the person পরবর্তি to them's কার্ট
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen আপনি in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of আপনি on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person was trying to take your _____
6. সরানো "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas....

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When আপনি are dating..... Farting is never an issue.
When আপনি are married ....You make sure there's nothing flammable near your husband at all times.

When আপনি are dating..... He takes আপনি out to have a good time.
When আপনি are married ....He brings প্রথমপাতা a 6 pack, and says "What are আপনি going to drink?"

When আপনি are dating..... He holds your hand in public.
When আপনি are married ....He flicks your ear in public.

When আপনি are dating..... A Single বিছানা for 2 isn't THAT bad.
When আপনি are married ....A King size বিছানা feels like an army cot.

When আপনি are dating..... আপনি are turned on at the sight of him naked....

Hi, ফ্যানপপ friends. These are some যেভাবে খুশী bits of trivia about me.

* I think জীবন্ত is the best.

* I'm a nerd when it comes to Batman.

* My পছন্দ holiday is Christmas.

* I have nostalgia for what Cartoon Network was like in the 1990s and 2000s.

* My পছন্দ actor/singer is Tony Jay.

* My পছন্দ actress is Emily Blunt.

* I'm a writer. I've been লেখা regularly since I was a teenager. I started off as a comedic writer, before becoming obsessed with লেখা romantic stories.

* I'm not a অনুরাগী of horror films and I only like a small amount of documentaries. My পছন্দ film genres include animation,...

Man, the fighting game community is lame. They make fun of Super Smash Bros Melee all the time, all they care about is some guy from an old fighting game called Fatal Furry, and they never shut up about the Arks System. Why would anyone care? What is this dumb indie game? Divekick? Sounds like a dumb move. Where’s the true indie game title, Up+Smash? That’s all I care about!- Where am I going with this joke again?



Divekick, an indie শিরোনাম made দ্বারা fighting game অনুরাগী for fighting game fans. And people who buy weird indie games cause they have dumb internet web series. What a coincidence....

So, I had a sudden wave of motivation to write this after watching a Simpsons episode of all things. Though, this is actually based on an episode of The Twilight Zone, dubbed as "Time Enough at Last."

It's my personal পছন্দ episode of the show, starring our main character Henry Bemis as his miserable life changes from what it used to be.

No other context will be প্রদত্ত here, as I want others to try and piece it all together...Or just interpret the poem their own way, that's always fun.

I hope আপনি all enjoy, as I worked quite hard on it!



Timber after sapling, the atmosphere stays the same.
The...

#1: LIAM NEESON:
I know.. Liam is a cliche, he's tired of it.
He's always saving people in a very similar formula.
But.. He's still LIAM NEESON.
This guy can read a book too children, and it would be the coolest sight ever..

#2: MARK WAHLBERG:
The Happening.. Oh the Happening.. আপনি really must of been fucking AWFUL if your able too get a bad performance out of Marky-Mark Wahlberg..
I actually like him আরো in চলচ্চিত্র like TED.. Mark has a certain charm that he brings into the performance..
But hey, watch SHOOTER and LONG SURVIVER to see him kicking ass*. He doesn't really have any real TypeCast.....

I hear Trump is president now.. No wonder comedy centre was roasting him.. So.. The one thing I learned from the Roast is that if your looking for a Donald Trump joke.. Pick one of these

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Snoop Dogg: Now he's talking about running for President. Why not? It wouldn't be the first time he kicked a black family out of their house.


Seth MacFarlane: দ্বারা the way, Donald, it's pronounced "huge," not "eyuge". Also, it's pronounced "I am fucking delusional," not "I am running for President."


Jeffrey Ross: And now you’re going to run for...

This প্রবন্ধ is about honoring Clay Martin Croker, better known as C. Martin Croker.

In 2016 the very talented C. Martin Croker died. Most people don't know who he is so here's a summary of his impressive career:

In the 1990's C. Martin Croker started his t.v. career on মহাকাশ Ghost Coast to Coast. C. Martin Croker was 1 of the animators. He's 1 of the show's 2 main voice actors. The প্রদর্শনী had 3 main characters: মহাকাশ Ghost, Zorak, and Molar. George Lowe voiced মহাকাশ Ghost and C. Martin Croker voiced Zorak and Moltar. C. Martin Croker also voiced Zorak in Cartoon Planet and The Brak Show.

In the...

Over decades and decades and decades...and আরো decades, literature has produced so many kinds of villains, I thought I'd pick out a few types I commonly see and explain them. Some of these kind of go hand in hand. "Yo zanhar, there's a site called TV Tropes for this!" Shhhh, it's okay Imma type anyways just to defy you. (Am I a villain yet?)

The Pure Evil

As implied these guys are the ones who are evil through and through. No sympathetic background, no redeeming qualities, hell this person অথবা being doesn't even think he/she is doing the right thing. In fact depending on the villain, he/she knows...

Chapter 2

it was the পরবর্তি day. Flippy decided to go to the bookstore. What harm could he do there? all they had there were books. As he was walking there he noticed that people weren't staring at him অথবা অভিনয় nervous. He even walked strait দ্বারা a cop and they did nothing. Everybody had already forgotten. When Flippy entered the bookstore he was thankful at how peaceful it was. Nothing to flip him out. Flippy sighed with relief and sat down. He looked around and noticed much আরো people there. Sniffles was পাঠ করা a book about science right পরবর্তি to him and পিটুনিয়া was পাঠ করা about gardening....

Legacy of flippy

It was late at night, Flippy and the other বৃক্ষ বন্ধু were at a party thrown দ্বারা Disco Bear. Disco ভালুক was trying to impress girls, and like always he was failing miserably. Nutty was eating all the sweets. Everything was going well until Mime started প্রদর্শিত হচ্ছে off with the balloons. He was trying to make tons of things with tons of balloons and they all popped, making a huge noise which sounded like a gunshot which made Flippy go insane. He dropped to the floor and stood back up with yellow eyes. At first, nobody seemed worried. Then Flippy pulled out his ছুরি and ambushed...

Me and Henry were running to the বৃক্ষ house.I got out my phone and dialed nine-one-one.
"Nine-one-one what's আপনি emergency?"A lady said.
"Hello.Me and my বন্ধু found a woman in the forest,she looks like she was stabbed!God,please help!Please!"I begged.
"Okay ma'am.Where did আপনি find her?"The lady asked.
"In the forest পরবর্তি to Flint Road!"I answered.
"Is someone with her?"She asked.
"Yes,my friend,Sarah.Oh God,when are they coming?"I asked as a I heard a moan.
"They're coming right away!Honey,go find your friend and the lady and wait in the forest,we're coming Hun."She ব্যক্ত in a sweet voice.
"Okay,Come...