1)At the movies: When আপনি meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question: Hey, what are আপনি doing here?
Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.

2)In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't আপনি try again?

3)At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?

4)At a restaurant: When আপনি ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer মাখন Masala" dish good?
Answer: No, it's terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit on it.

5)At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets আপনি after years.
Stupid Question: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer: Well আপনি haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6)When someone announces her wedding, and আপনি ask...
Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying well?
Answer: No, he's a miserable wife beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money.


7)When আপনি see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question: নমস্কার have আপনি had a haircut?
Answer: No, its autumn and I'm shedding.

8)At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts?
Answer: No it won't. It will just bleed.


AND FINALLY…….


9)When আপনি get woken up at midnight দ্বারা a phone call...
Stupid Question: Sorry. Were আপনি sleeping?
Answer: No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry অথবা not. And আপনি thought I was sleeping.... আপনি dumb witted moron.